Small Vegas Wedding

Re: Small Vegas Wedding

• lovegood90 member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  I think word of mouth to specific people would be the best way to go, as opposed to a broad facebook status if that's what you were thinking.

  Also just be sure to word it in a way that doesn't imply it will be hosted (kind of like what you said- "come join us after if you want"), and I think you're good.

  ETA: Just wanted to add that I don't think this is a great idea- I would not attend something like this. However if you're still set on doing it, you're technically in the clear from an etiquette standpoint because you're just informally asking people to join you if they want. But if you're still thinking about whether to do it or not, I wouldn't bother- just party with your wedding guests. If you want to party with more people, then have a longer engagement to save up the money. 

  Formerly martha1818

  

  
  

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• dcbride86 member

  

  March 2015

  I wouldn't do this.  It's pretty rude, because it's basically saying "hey!  You're not important enough to be invited to our actual wedding, but we totally want to party with you at the after party!  Use this hashtag so I can consolidate all my pretty pictures!  Kthnxbye"

   

  I get that's totally not what you mean and that your intentions are good, but that's how it will be perceived.  If you want a small wedding, you get a small wedding.  You don't also get to invite others to fly in to celebrate with you at an afterparty

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• poodledoodleooo member

  

  March 2015

  I don't really think there is a polite way to do this. Best practice is to send out a marriage announcement after the wedding has happened.
  
  Saying, "Hey, I'd love if you spend your money to celebrate with us in Vegas, but sorry, you aren't invited the wedding" is a total snub in the face. I know, because it's happened to me. They are either invited to celebrate in full, or not.
  

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• amelisha member

  

  March 2015

  In my opinion, I don't think it's appropriate, honestly.

  
  

  I'm having a small Vegas wedding too. Twenty people, short ceremony followed by a restaurant dinner. Very low-key. But there is no way in hell I would be inviting anyone to come and then not inviting them to the ceremony or dinner. Why would anyone want to "celebrate" with us if they aren't even invited to the wedding? That seems incredibly rude to me.

  
  

  We invited our immediate family and closest friends and we invited them to the wedding and to dinner afterwards. No tiered stuff, everyone is being treated the same so that no one gets offended. I really, really believe that you shouldn't invite anyone, even "casually" that you can't afford to host properly. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  March 2015

  I could see this leading to some major confusion.

  
  

  Why not just party with your friends after you get back home?

  
  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  March 2015

  It's pretty rude to invite someone to come to an after party when they aren't invited to the wedding. To ask them to travel is just crazy.

  If someone hears that you are getting married in Vegas and takes it upon themselves to travel there, that's one thing. But there's no acceptable way to invite these people.

  If you want to send out an announcement after the fact, do it. Or if you want to use social media, change your status the next day and post a photo. If you want to have a huge event with all these people, change your plans and invite them to the wedding. Otherwise, accept that the wedding is the small event that you decided to plan, and that you won't be inviting all of your FB friends.

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• ChemFanatic25 member

  

  March 2015

  brosia_girl said:

  We are planning a small Vegas wedding with a short 2 hour formal reception immediately following in October. We are are limited to the number of people who can actually attend because of the venue. We are sending formal mailed invites to just our immediate family and closest friends.
  
  However, we would like to let our other friends and family know that we are getting married and that while we can't invite them to the wedding/reception (due to the limited venue) that it would be awesome if they came to Vegas and celebrated with us afterwards (no pressure or obligation or anything just an announcement). We want this to be extremely informal and were thinking about just doing a social media posting. We aren't looking for anyone to bring us gifts or anything like that. We basically are just wanting to say - Hey we're getting married in Vegas and if you happen to be in town or are looking for an excuse to take a vacation, then come party with us after the wedding. I realize it's very non-traditional and doesn't fit into your standard wedding etiquette rules.
  
  Thoughts/ideas about the best way to go about this? Fun wording ideas?
  

  
  

  Eh, I wouldn't do it at all. You can be non-traditional and still follow etiquette. I'd say if they take it upon themselves to travel to Vegas while you're celebrating your marriage there at the same time, tell them that you're having a get together at such and such place (not mentioning the wedding at all) and if they are interested they are welcome to join you.
  

  

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• SP29 member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  Technically you could let people know informally that you'll be in Vegas from X-Y date.

  
  

  But otherwise I wouldn't say anything, unless someone else tells you that they are planning on going to Vegas at that time.

  
  

  I'd be put off if someone said, "I can't invite you to the wedding (which is FINE- I get it!), but if you want to take a vacation to Vegas and come hang out after, that would be awesome". Why would someone decide to vacation at Vegas BECAUSE of your wedding, without being invited to the wedding? You know? Also, I would never impose myself even if I were going to Vegas anyway, because I would assume the B&G want to spend time together. 

  
  

  I would leave the partying with friends for when you get back home. 

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• levioosa member

  

  March 2015

  I think your intentions are good, but this is going to come off totally the wrong way to the people you'd like to celebrate with.  It comes off like you want them to travel to a DW, but you don't want to host them, which is rude.  I think the safer route is not to do this.  Go out for drinks and invite people to meet up with you at home.
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• indianaalum member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  I personally think it is rude. You are saying "come celebrate with my on your own dime since I am not hosting anything for you and you aren't important enough to make the cut for my ceremony" It does look gift grabby because you want them there but you don't want to pay for them to attend.

  
  

  In essence, you are choosing VENUE over friendships in your scenario. Totally fine to pick a small venue, but then you are onl allowed to invite THAT many people to the wedding. It's an all or none thing. Invite to ceremony/reception, or not at all.
  

  
  

  Bad idea

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• indianaalum member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  lovegood90 said:

  I think word of mouth to specific people would be the best way to go, as opposed to a broad facebook status if that's what you were thinking.

  Also just be sure to word it in a way that doesn't imply it will be hosted (kind of like what you said- "come join us after if you want"), and I think you're good.

  ETA: Just wanted to add that I don't think this is a great idea- I would not attend something like this. However if you're still set on doing it, you're technically in the clear from an etiquette standpoint because you're just informally asking people to join you if they want. But if you're still thinking about whether to do it or not, I wouldn't bother- just party with your wedding guests. If you want to party with more people, then have a longer engagement to save up the money. 

  I disagree.  IT is a violation, IMO It is basically like inviting someone to the "after party" of your wedding which would be rude. You can't invite anyone to "part" of your wedding. It's an all or none thing

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• JennyColada member

  

  March 2015

  Why not just get married at a different venue if you want to celebrate with all of your friends?

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