FSIL upset son won't be able to make it to the ceremony

Re: FSIL upset son won't be able to make it to the ceremony

• mikenberger member

  

  March 2015

  Just keep comforting her that it's okay. And on the day of, let her see that it's okay. 

  
  

  Is she a usually dramatic person? Because this sounds super dramatic.

  
  

  
  

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• lizz0915 member

  

  March 2015

  She is not a dramatic person at all, which is why I was concerned she was really crying about this. I mean my fiance and I are sad he won't be at the ceremony but I'm glad he'll be able to make it to the reception and we will be able to get family pictures there.
  
  My fiance and FSIL's uncle passed away early this week, not totally unexpectedly but quicker than anyone thought, so maybe that is part of the reason she is more upset than I would think she would be over this.
  

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• 6fsn member

  

  March 2015

  I'm sure the death plays into this.  I'd also venture at some point in here life she's had a friend flip her shit over this and she was worried because she didn't want to hurt you.  It's kind of refreshing to see that you two care so much about each other.

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• Heffalump member

  

  March 2015

  I think, given some time, she'll see that everyone is cool with it and it's not the end of the world.  Sometimes people just need time to get used to an idea.  Throw in the death in the family, and she probably just needs a little time to get her head together.
  

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• VarunaTT member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  Yep, keep doing what you're doing.  I'm sure her emotions are high anyway, but in all reality there are lots of people who lose their ever-loving minds when confronted with weddings.  She probably expected the worse.  

  
  

  Maybe outline your plans to deal with it?  That way she feels a bit better.

  
  

  ETA: I read that wrong b/c I thought you hadn't told her about the photographer.  NVM.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  March 2015

  I think you're fine, but if the following would help, is there space in your budget and the schedules of all concerned to take some extra photos before or after the wedding that her son could be included in?

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• hmonkey member

  

  March 2015

  just tell that he is not your nephew, and never will be.

  

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• MesmrEwe member

  

  March 2015

  scribe95 said:

  So is she going to miss the ceremony as well? Where I'm from senior night is where the parents walk the football/basketball players and get announced. 

  This!  Honestly, make sure she really knows that it's NBD and if it was your child you'd want them to be able to be at the game too (even if it ended up being her too as in the case above!!!).  It's great that you've got the attitude that you've got for this knowing the milestone that Senior Year Homecoming is.  Just a thought is that maybe she's crying over the fact that she has to choose between the two events rather than being with her son on Senior Homecoming - his last Homecoming.  It's a "Mom" thing (no matter how old the kids get, they're still our "babies") but I could understand being super sad about missing it if it was my kid (as a Mom - she's still likely seeing him putting on an oversized helmet the first time, not a Senior already!).  Maybe offer her an "out" to attend too...  Plan pictures earlier in the day or even later in the evening with them present so they're there.  Maybe those two get paired up.  It's just a thought, but my guess is she's emotional because it'll be her missing his milestone and making an adult choice to attend yours even though her heart really is with her "little" boy...
  

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• lizz0915 member

  

  March 2015

  It's his homecoming game, so luckily it's not senior night. I unfortunately think she was invited to another wedding on his senior night. I'm just going to keep letting her know that we'll miss him, I think his dad is going to the game, we told her if she wanted to go we were completely ok with that but she says she is coming to the wedding.
  
  We aren't able to pictures before the wedding with him since he needs to be at the field so early but we already built in plans to get additional bridal party pictures and family pictures when they arrive to the reception which we think should be during cocktail hour.
  

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