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Money Shower?

IamnowmrsjmsIamnowmrsjms member
Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
edited March 2015 in Wedding Etiquette Forum

My Mom and I got together with my aunt and cousin over the weekend.  My cousin was telling us about a wedding he is in and the couple is having a “money shower.” He said that the couple live together and don’t need to register for anything, so they’re having a “money shower” to help pay for wedding costs.  I almost fell off my chair.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

 

Oh yeah, this couple is also doing a honeymoon registry.  I didn’t feel like opening up a can of worms with my cousin over his rude friends, but my Mom and I had a field day over it on the car ride home. 

 

I had to share here because I know you’d all have a field day with it!

 

I’m just shocked that people would actually do this! *Cringe*

*edited for grammar

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Re: Money Shower?

  • charcoalandblushcharcoalandblush member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    Unfortunately, this is a thing... apparently a girl from my church had a "gift card shower." Her invitation even listed places she wanted gift cards for (Victora's Secret, Target, Macy's, etc.). My mom told me all about it. My mom is normally not the most tactful/up on wedding etiquette, but even she was horrified at the idea.

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  • IamnowmrsjmsIamnowmrsjms member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    I give anyone credit who could sit there and listen to that and not say anything.
    It was soooo hard.  I wanted to pull a hissy fit. 
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    If you don't need anything, what are you spending the gift card money on?


    On another note, if don't need anything just don't have a shower.   It's not that hard.    I don't get why we need to find other ways to solicit money from guests?  Geez.   Have a b-party with your friends and just call it a day.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
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  • novella1186novella1186 member
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    lyndausvi said:

    If you don't need anything, what are you spending the gift card money on?



    On another note, if don't need anything just don't have a shower.   It's not that hard.    I don't get why we need to find other ways to solicit money from guests?  Geez.   Have a b-party with your friends and just call it a day.
    That's what I always wonder too. If you truly don't need anything, then you don't need anything. So... ? 

    I would just toss some pennies at them. That's a money shower, right? 
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  • redoryxredoryx member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    lyndausvi said:

    If you don't need anything, what are you spending the gift card money on?



    On another note, if don't need anything just don't have a shower.   It's not that hard.    I don't get why we need to find other ways to solicit money from guests?  Geez.   Have a b-party with your friends and just call it a day.
    But they are the BRIDE. They must have a BRIDAL SHOWER and a party that is ALL ABOUT THEM. It's THEIR day after all! 
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    It's tacky to have a money shower to use the money for a new flat screen TV or a vacation. It's BEYOND tacky to have a money shower and use the money to pay for the wedding. BLECH.

     







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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    It's the fucking sense of entitlement that pisses me off.

    Showers were to help couples setup a home.   They normally went from their parents to a place of their own.  You need basic stuff to live.  Sheets, towels, pots, pans, etc.   If you already have a home, then don't have a shower.    You don't change the rules to so say "well by me a TV instead".   

    Those things are nothing more than a want.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • IamnowmrsjmsIamnowmrsjms member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    edited March 2015

    @lyndauvsi-I've always wondered that about the gift cards too! UGH, rude people like this drive me crazy.

    Maybe this couple thinks their exempt because they're two grooms? I don't know! Man/woman, man/man, man/dog=STILL RUDE

    *edited. DST is killing my grammar skills.

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  • abl13abl13 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    lyndausvi said:


    lyndausvi said:

    If you don't need anything, what are you spending the gift card money on?



    On another note, if don't need anything just don't have a shower.   It's not that hard.    I don't get why we need to find other ways to solicit money from guests?  Geez.   Have a b-party with your friends and just call it a day.
    THIS. I do not understand the "I don't need anything" argument when asking for gift cards.
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  • lmcooper86lmcooper86 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer

    One of my BMs is recently engaged. At my shower this weekend she was mentioning that she doesn't know what she and her now-FI will want to register for, since they've been living together for about a year and have most of what they need. She mentioned a few things that she'd like to upgrade (cheap towels from university? Yeah, I'd be done with those too), and that she didn't know what else they would really need. As I was about to say "Well, if you don't register for much people will get the hint and you would likely end up with more cash gifts", someone else piped up and said "You can always register for gift cards!". I died a little inside, and decided that I wasn't getting into that etiquette nightmare at my own shower...

    Everyone knows that money is always an appreciated gift. I don't understand why people think they have to tell others to gift them money.

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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    abl13 said:

    lyndausvi said:


    lyndausvi said:

    If you don't need anything, what are you spending the gift card money on?



    On another note, if don't need anything just don't have a shower.   It's not that hard.    I don't get why we need to find other ways to solicit money from guests?  Geez.   Have a b-party with your friends and just call it a day.
    THIS. I do not understand the "I don't need anything" argument when asking for gift cards.
    Because you can buy Asprin and a hairdryer with your Target giftcard, and you can buy clothes with your Macy's giftcard.  But you can't register for clothes or asprin, so that's why giftcards make sense.

    I'm not saying it's a good reason, but that's probably one of the reasons.
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I opened this thread expecting a bride to ask how she can word a poem or ask a BM for a money shower.  I'm glad you're not the one doing this, OP.  What a cluster.


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  • dcbride86dcbride86 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    That is horrifying.  I received 2 gift cards at my shower, and I imagine it was boring for guests to watch me open them.  I can't imagine how boring it would have been if everything was just cash

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  • IamnowmrsjmsIamnowmrsjms member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer

    @levioosa Never!

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  • MandyMostMandyMost member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    lyndausvi said:

    If you don't need anything, what are you spending the gift card money on?



    On another note, if don't need anything just don't have a shower.   It's not that hard.    I don't get why we need to find other ways to solicit money from guests?  Geez.   Have a b-party with your friends and just call it a day.
    I get so irrationally pissed off at the fact that people don't seem to realize that they can have parties at any time and for any reason, and they don't all have to be about getting presents and they don't all have to be about the wedding! 
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