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Another Bridal Party Question w/Update and New Question

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
edited March 2015 in Wedding Party
A while back, I posted about my bridesmaids not ordering their dresses yet.  Everyone advised me to just give them time; I did just that and all of them expect for  one ordered their dress.  My wedding is in about 4 months.  I'm fine with giving more time to the other bridesmaid, however, her daughter is also in the wedding as a flower girl.  I have not picked her daughter's attire yet, but I planned on doing it very soon.   I want to run some ideas by my bridesmaid (flower girl's mom) just to make sure mom approves of the dress (and budget) for her daughter.  I'm just a little apprehensive about asking her about her daughter's attire since she hasn't ordered her dress yet.   I'm not sure if it's a money thing, a time thing or no interest in being in the wedding.    I live out of state and have spoke to her a few times in the last month.  She'll ask me how the wedding planning is going, but has said nothing about participating in the wedding or getting the dress.   I don't want to pressure her, so I haven't mentioned it.   But, I'd like to make a decision about the flower girl's attire and cross it off my list.   

Should I call her up and just ask her about the dress?  Should I just bring up the flower girl's attire?   Any advice?   I don't want to come across as bridezilla-like and I don't expect her to stop her life for my wedding, but I have a feeling something is going regarding her participation in the wedding.  


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Re: Another Bridal Party Question w/Update and New Question

  • fwtx5815fwtx5815 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited March 2015
    I wouldn't mention her dress, only the FG attire situation. I think the same advice that you got about her ordering her own dress will go for her daughter as well, tbh.

    If this is the first time you've discussed an actual FG outfit in detail, then you shouldn't feel like you're nagging her.

    ETA - if she has lost interest in participating or can't for financial reasons, I would trust that she'll tell you on her own. there isn't much you can do other than be a friend and listen if she wants to talk about what's going on in her life.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    This is the first time for the FG attire.  
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  • jacques27jacques27 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    Is it possible she's holding off on her dress because she's thinking the flower girl dress will come from the same place and she's waiting to order both at the same time and save on shipping?  Or she's waiting to see what you are proposing so budget-wise she knows how much to budget or whether she can buy one or both used.  Or she's hoping to lose weight before getting the dress, etc.  And are you even sure she hasn't gotten the dress already, just ordered it from somewhere more convenient for her instead of the shop you planned on?

    Stop procrastinating on the one thing because of the other.  You've already given her a deadline for her dress and she knows what she's supposed to order.  Call her up and discuss the flower girl dress.  She either buys her own dress or she doesn't and decides not to participate in walking down the aisle.

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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Call her up and tell her you're starting to think about the FG dress, and you need her budget. You could also give her an idea of what sort of thing you had in mind (length, color) and discuss with her. Then tell her you'll start shopping and send her some links when you find something that fits your criteria. 

    If she brings up her dress, it's fine to ask her when she plans on ordering, but at 4 months out, you can still assume she'll get it in time. To be honest, I ordered a dress 2 weeks ago for a wedding in April (so 2 months ahead of the wedding) and have absolutely no concerns about it coming on time. If you have a hard deadline, communicate that to her. But 4 months out is still a little early to be pushing her. 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited March 2015


    Sorry, ended up solving my own problem.  It's all good. 
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