what to do about vendors who refuse to do same-sex weddings?

dancetherapist · March 2015

I just had a photographer that I previously was interested in tell me that he isn't "super comfortable" with the idea of shooting a same sex wedding and that he might be able to do it but "wouldn't be able to put my heart into it." Obviously since discrimination is legal in Michigan, where the wedding is, I just have to suck it up and deal with another person's "personal beliefs," but I also feel like I want to let other same sex couples know about his stance so that they can avoid him altogether and choose someone more gay friendly. Is there a place to report/let people know of vendors who discriminate? Is that a totally inappropriate thing to do?

QueerFemme · March 2015

I would probably post on YELP, and here, and pretty much anywhere else that would accept a vendor review.

wrigleyville · March 2015

QueerFemme said:
I would probably post on YELP, and here, and pretty much anywhere else that would accept a vendor review.

Ditto. I would find another photographer too.

When H and I looked for vendors, we boycotted any vendors who refused to provide service to gay couples. I don't think a lot of these vendors realize that they're alienating straight couples along with gay couples.

april&amanda · March 2015

yeah Yelp is a good one. Also on here and wedding wire and any other site that can leave reviews. That way others can avoid doing business with them. Good Luck!

twojunebrides · March 2015

I had a photographer give me the same reaction (in North Dakota) and I posted reviews at most of the popular places for reviews.... and told all my friends & family.

ashley8918 · March 2015

wrigleyville said:

show previous quotes
QueerFemme said:
I would probably post on YELP, and here, and pretty much anywhere else that would accept a vendor review.
Ditto. I would find another photographer too.

When H and I looked for vendors, we boycotted any vendors who refused to provide service to gay couples. I don't think a lot of these vendors realize that they're alienating straight couples along with gay couples.

Same. I was dead set on an adorable countryside chapel until I did some research and found out that they were in the middle of a lawsuit for refusing to allow any sort of same sex anything (wedding, commitment ceremony, etc). No fucking thank you.

Kahlyla · March 2015

wrigleyville said:

show previous quotes
QueerFemme said:
I would probably post on YELP, and here, and pretty much anywhere else that would accept a vendor review.
Ditto. I would find another photographer too.

When H and I looked for vendors, we boycotted any vendors who refused to provide service to gay couples. I don't think a lot of these vendors realize that they're alienating straight couples along with gay couples.

Yep. I would also have wanted to know something like this as my husband and I would have refused to hire such a vendor. I would post about it where I could, just as you did here.

dcbride86 · March 2015

I'm sorry that happened to you! I can imagine that was just a horrible feeling. It's completely ridiculous that discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is legal in so many states. I also vote for scathing Yelp reviews so others will know that they discriminate.

As PPs have mentioned, I would absolutely refuse to hire any vendor who refused to work with same-sex couples. As a matter of principle, I refuse to endorse discriminatory practices. And as a personal, more selfish, reason, one of my readers (who may as well be family) is a lesbian. I imagine if they're so uncomfortable with same-sex relationships, the photographer wouldn't want to take photos of them at my wedding, which would make me go into a blind rage

lnixon8 · March 2015

Put it on your local board here on tk

hashtag43016 · March 2015

Give them the lowest rating on every single review thing possible. Put a good description of why they're only getting one star. And then be sure to give the vendors you do end up using great reviews (if they are great)

Dreamergirl8812 · March 2015

Straight chick here, but I would absolutely want to know ahead of time if a vendor I was considering was a bigot. Please, out them*.

*See what I did there?

[Deleted User] · April 2015

.

VulgarGirl · April 2015

Dreamergirl8812 said:
Straight chick here, but I would absolutely want to know ahead of time if a vendor I was considering was a bigot. Please, out them*.

*See what I did there?

Thanks for letting us know you're straight. Almost no straight people support gay rights. Except for all the straight people who posted before you. Wouldn't want to accidentally think you're a homo cause you support gay rights.

Dreamergirl8812 · April 2015

MagicInk said:

show previous quotes
Dreamergirl8812 said:
Straight chick here, but I would absolutely want to know ahead of time if a vendor I was considering was a bigot. Please, out them*.

*See what I did there?
Thanks for letting us know you're straight. Almost no straight people support gay rights. Except for all the straight people who posted before you. Wouldn't want to accidentally think you're a homo cause you support gay rights.

It's a gay wedding board. If I posted in second weddings, I would preface it by saying I have only been married once, and then give my opinion.

I wasn't aware we were supposed to shy away from pointing out our own sexual identity.

Jen4948 · April 2015

Yes. Give them bad reviews.

Fosmoh · July 2015

Dreamergirl8812 said:

show previous quotes
Straight chick here, but I would absolutely want to know ahead of time if a vendor I was considering was a bigot. Please, out them*.

*See what I did there?
Thanks for letting us know you're straight. Almost no straight people support gay rights. Except for all the straight people who posted before you. Wouldn't want to accidentally think you're a homo cause you support gay rights.
It's a gay wedding board. If I posted in second weddings, I would preface it by saying I have only been married once, and then give my opinion.

I wasn't aware we were supposed to shy away from pointing out our own sexual identity.

Also for the fact to emphasize that by a vender discriminating against gays, they not only will lose potential customers who are gay but those that are not. you do not have to be gay to realize that these venders are F'd up and not someone you'd want to do business with. I sure as hell wouldn't want my money going there.

I'm straight as well but i would absolutely want to know if a vender held this type of stance and discriminated against someone. i'm also Caucasian and an atheist. I would not hire a vender who is racist or phobic against different belief systems.

So to add onto all the other comments, definitely write reviews on the vender and explain what happened. I'd want to know if this was going on just as much as i'd want to know if a vender is racist, theophobic (god(s)/religion etc), or just an overall D*bag

[Deleted User] · July 2015

Fosmoh said:

show previous quotes

Dreamergirl8812 said:

Straight chick here, but I would absolutely want to know ahead of time if a vendor I was considering was a bigot. Please, out them*.

*See what I did there?
Thanks for letting us know you're straight. Almost no straight people support gay rights. Except for all the straight people who posted before you. Wouldn't want to accidentally think you're a homo cause you support gay rights.
It's a gay wedding board. If I posted in second weddings, I would preface it by saying I have only been married once, and then give my opinion.

I wasn't aware we were supposed to shy away from pointing out our own sexual identity.

Also for the fact to emphasize that by a vender discriminating against gays, they not only will lose potential customers who are gay but those that are not. you do not have to be gay to realize that these venders are F'd up and not someone you'd want to do business with. I sure as hell wouldn't want my money going there.

I'm straight as well but i would absolutely want to know if a vender held this type of stance and discriminated against someone. i'm also Caucasian and an atheist. I would not hire a vender who is racist or phobic against different belief systems.

So to add onto all the other comments, definitely write reviews on the vender and explain what happened. I'd want to know if this was going on just as much as i'd want to know if a vender is racist, theophobic (god(s)/religion etc), or just an overall D*bag

*vendor

[Deleted User] · July 2015

I agree with leaving a review but you want to make sure you do it so you are taken seriously. It's hard not to let you heart rule but often times when I read bad reviews and you can see it's full of heat of the moment sentences. I take them less seriously. I think by putting in exactly what the vendor told you speaks for it's self. You don't want to leave the door open for the vendor to rebuttal and make it look like you took something out of context. By sticking to what they said and trying though hard to leave emotion out of it proves your point more and makes you look more creditable

I hope you are able to find a photographer who is able to capture what you two feel in your heart.

Klyeary · October 2015

I can't believe the photographer would say that to you!!

When my cousin married his partner recently, they found their vendors on gayweddings.com.

wink0erin · October 2015

I agree with @RachelLee83, leave a calmly worded review stating what you said here and find another photographer who will put his/her heart into your wedding day.

Knottie1448825336 · December 2015

Please Don't use a photographer who admits they can't do a good job for any reason.
it's your day and no one should ruin it for you

My fear is that these bigots will go under cover and try to pretend they ok with it just to get the work and you know what? Anyone who's going to be there on my big day ought to be really, really happy for me - not faking
*

what to do about vendors who refuse to do same-sex weddings?

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