How do you decide on a dress? Been to over 5 stores and nothing feels right :(

Re: How do you decide on a dress? Been to over 5 stores and nothing feels right :(

• climbingsingle member

  

  February 2015

  First, it shouldn't matter what you mother likes, or your father or your FMIL. Pick something that you like and feel beautiful in. Do YOU like bead? Do YOU want straps? That's all that should matter. 

  
  

  I tried on between 10-12 dresses. Out of those, I picked 3 I liked. I tried those 3 on 3 times each and then decided. Be open to different styles. 

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• sivann member

  

  February 2015

  Thanks! I think my problem is that I am too open! I like how you say you liked them instead of loved. I keep thinking that I need to LOVE my dress but maybe that's not realistic. By the way you look stunning in your pics!!

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• lovemesomemonster member

  

  February 2015

  I struggled with the dress too! I went with my mom and it was too overwhelming to pick even though I found one I liked (I'm also 5'0" and not curvy). I was totally the same way in the more form fitting ones.. I felt like I was playing dress up in someone else's dress but it didn't feel like me.. I went back with just my MOH, she loved the one I liked but didn't say which of the 3 I put on she liked the best until I made the decision.. Then we put her in a dress that was the color and style I was thinking for the girls and she stood next to me while I was in the final two. After a lunch with bloody marys I just went with what felt more "me". Now that I bought it I'm not even thinking of the others.. I went with what I originally thought I liked and i'm happy with it.. maybe narrow it down and take one other person you know will just support you!

  
  

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• weddingcactus member

  

  February 2015

  Try going back to the stores that had your favorite in budget dresses alone. Then start narrowing down until you have one favorite. Ultimately you need to be happy and comfortable, not your friends and family. And it sounds like your entourage is offering conflicting opinions that are confusing you more. I had maybe six dresses I really liked and I just tried them on multiple times until I narrowed it down to one. Personally I'm more comfortable in new than buying used, but you have to decide what works for you. I'm getting married June 2015 and ordered my dress in October, so make sure the shops can get your dress in time.

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• eal458 member

  

  February 2015

  You have to pick what you feel most beautiful in! I tried on about 10-15 dresses, and the dress I picked was actually one that I didn't like on the hanger. It looked boring and plain, but when I tried it on I loved the way I looked in it and I felt like a bride! I got mine at David's Bridal because my budget was under $1000. I love vintage looks and this lace number with cap sleeves fit the bill. I guess my advice is- try on things that you don't absolutely love on the hanger. They will look differently on you!

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• Casadena member

  

  February 2015 edited February 2015

  I felt the same way. I went 3 times with my mom, sister, and grandma and was a little frustrated and overwhelmed. I went to one boutique a few weeks later alone and it was SO much easier. I tried on about 30 dresses but had no problem eliminating. I picked 5 or 6 that I knew I really liked and would be happy with and then invited mom, gma, and sister back the following weekend to look at only the ones I had picked out. Personally, I felt that this was so much easier. Even if those 5, there were a few different styles, but because i knew I liked them all, it was much easier to make a decision including everyone else's opinions too. I ended up with a dress we all really really liked! ETA: grandma insisted on purchasing my dress so her opinion was important to me because I decided to accept her offer! If you're buying your own, I wouldnt worry at all what other people think.

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• augbride87 member

  

  February 2015

  I tried on a bunch of dresses.  I went once with my MOH and then went again with my MOH, mother, and SIL.  I found a ton that I liked and was having a hard time narrowing it down.  I couldn't decide whether or not I wanted big and poofy or sleek and sexy.   

  
  

  My mom was actually the biggest help.  She said that when I tried on my dress I kept saying I love this and I love that, but when I tried on the other dresses it was I like this and I like that.  She was right and its the perfect dress for me!

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• tj&cw member

  

  February 2015

  sivann ---I had in mind that I wanted a tea length dress something pretty plain and simple. My dad did not give me a budget so I just looked. Went to David's Bridal...was in tears because they did not listen to what I wanted.

  2nd shop was a highly recommend bridal shop in my area...told the lady what I wanted. She said look at the styles and try them on and then we can think about shortening and sleeves. She brought in a dress...I got this look on my face and could not wait to put the dress on. Got it on and started crying before my mom and cousin even saw it....It is a floor length with a train and beading. 180 degrees different than what I wanted.

  Just be open and find a good bridal consultant who will listen and listen to your heart when you put the dress on. That is how I found mine.....Good luck  

  

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• atlastmrsg member

  

  February 2015

  Go try on dresses by yourself somewhere completely different on a day when you're relaxed--not right before/after work or when you're rushing.  See what YOU like.  The more opinions you get, the more they're going to differ.  Then treat yourself afterwards.  I took myself out for a milkshake afterwards.

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• Knottie5228959 member

  

  March 2015

  I personally am very unsatisfyed with the current bridal fashions. You know when you see all those ridiculously ugly designs on the runway that cost a fortune cause they are by a big designer, but they aren't something you would even be caught dead in? That's what many wedding dresses look like to me. Others are nice, but just not me.
  
  In all my Internet browsing, I was finding that most of the dresses I like were old and not being carried anymore. My dream dress was from 2008 and now special order only. Luckily, another brand had a current dress that was almost identical, so I tried it on. It was my favorite of any dress I tried. It was $400 more than my dream dress, and the details weren't quite as nice. So I decided to special order my dream dress.
  
  At 4k, that really is a huge budget for a dress! Mine was only about 1k. I did find that I actually liked more of the lower priced dresses much better. Many of the more expensive dresses were way overdone for my taste. Other times I could not see why the hell the dress was so overpriced. However, there were some dresses up in your budget that WERE justifiably priced, and to die for.
  
  I will say this though: you need to decide soon. My wedding is this August too. I ordered my dress last month, and it won't be here till July (at first, they said it would probably be June). The arrival time can have many factors, and you often have the option to do a rush order. However, sales girls at several different stores all told me the average wait is 3-6 months. I'm sure you've probably been told the same thing in all the shopping you've been doing. Good luck. I'm sure you will find something

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• julieanne912 member

  

  March 2015

  When I first put on my dress I was like "OK, it's nice".  I had tried on about 6 dresses in 2 other shops before this one, and I think it was my 2nd one in the third shop. I had a great consultant that encouraged me to keep trying on dresses.  She also had a "system".  Basically for every 2 dresses, she made me pick one that I liked better out of the two.  The no dress was removed, and the "winner" dress would stay.  So "my" dress kept making the cut throughout the appointment.  She went to go find some more dresses for me to try on, and apparently the other consultants told her that I needed to buy that dress.  She told me that, and that helped seal the deal for me... the fact that everyone else liked it on me.  After I put it on again I knew it was it.  

  
  

  Also it wasn't a huge "OMG THIS IS IT" feeling.  I just decided I felt comfortable in it and liked how it looked, and having the encouragement of everyone else helped me.  Putting on a veil helped too.  

  Married 9.12.15

  
  

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• downtondiva member

  

  March 2015

  You're getting overwhelmed because you're trying too many different things and getting too many people's opinions. Before you go out shopping again, take a look at dresses online and at the very least figure out what you do NOT want in a dress. That is what I did and I saved myself a lot of time and found my dress fairly quickly. It's fine to try on a few dresses that you aren't too sure about, but don't waste your or anyone else's time trying on things that you already know you're not comfortable with.

  
  

  Also, don't take too many people shopping with you - if you're finding their input overwhelming you might even want to consider going to 1 or 2 appointments by yourself. It's nice to have people tell you what dress does or doesn't look good, but you need to know on your own that you like it and feel good in it. 

  
  

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• buttercup1958

  

  March 2015

  I agree with pps! I too get slightly overwhelmed if there are a lot of options.  What I would do is create three seperate lists. One list is things you must have (including staying in budget). Then the second list are things you are open too that didn't make the cut in the must have. The third list is the things you don't want at all in a dress. I feel like this would keep you open but not too open.
  

  

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• adettma32 member

  

  March 2015

  Go alone next time. Don't tell anyone your going if you feel like someone would pressure you into coming along. I went completely alone and it made dress shopping afterwards with people a world of a difference. I knew right away at least what I DIDN'T want. 

  
  

  Honestly, if I can recommend, I'd say don't go with opinionated people at all if you are really open or a people pleaser, like me. It's easy to get swayed into something you aren't THAT into by people saying, yes, yes, yes, this is the one for you.

  
  

  I am also 5'2 and thought I wanted dramatic styles, but I found that I felt swallowed up with them and ended up getting a sheath lace dress. The simple lace gowns, for me, were the first kind to make me truly visualize the day, getting married to the love of my life and therefore, sold me! My dad is opinionated and thought the simple lace gowns were too boring, but by the time he came along to look I had tried on a few kinds of dresses and knew that that was the kind of dress for me. Good luck!

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• phira member

  

  March 2015

  Totally agree with everyone else.

  
  

  1) Go alone. Dressing shopping has turned into this big outing with lots of people and opinions, but often, and that means that you're going to have a harder time because you have to manage everyone else's expectations. That doesn't just mean you end up getting lots of opinions about which dress is the right one; it also means that if you decide "too quickly" that you like or dislike a dress, people might pressure you into taking longer to decide.

  
  

  2) Go through your own wardrobe and think about what styles you like on yourself. Do you like stuff that's flashy? Do you usually buy dresses with A-line skirts? Do you hate strapless? TRUST yourself.

  
  

  I knew, going into dress shopping, that I looked fiercely awesome in strapless sweetheart dresses, that anything fitted over my hips would make me feel horrible, and that I wanted a defined waist. So anything that didn't do those things? Didn't bother.

  
  

  3) A lot of people have a MOMENT when they find their wedding dress ... and a lot of people don't. I didn't. There's a lot of pressure to find the perfect dress that's perfectly you; Say Yes to the Dress likes to emphasize that it's like finding the perfect fiancé(e). That's kind of bullshit. It's a dress. You're going to wear it once. Find something that you feel comfortable wearing that makes you feel beautiful, and don't worry if it's not "the one." This isn't like settling on a life partner.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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