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Etiquette Question! Do I still send a STD/Invitation to my new boss even though he'll be out of town

mrsoz88mrsoz88 member
First Anniversary First Comment
edited March 2015 in Wedding Etiquette Forum

I just started a new job as an executive assistant to a Vice President of my company. This man is very big on etiquette.

He mentioned in a conversation this week that he'll be out of town the same week of my wedding and casually mentioned how he'd be unable to attend. I was planning to send out my STDs this weekend (including his).

A coworker said I should definitely still send him a STD and Invitation anyway, to let him know I was intending to invite him before I knew about his travel plans, and to give him an opportunity to send a gift if he wanted to.

I don't want it to seem though that I'm fishing for a gift, since he knows I'm aware that he can't come.

I need some opinions as to how to handle this one! Any input would be helpful! Thanks!!
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Re: Etiquette Question! Do I still send a STD/Invitation to my new boss even though he'll be out of town

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited March 2015
    Is he someone you were going to invite anyway? If so, go ahead and invite him (and his SO if he has one) just in case things change and it becomes possible for him to come. And if you do invite him, plan for his attendance until he specifically declines your invitation.

    PS: please don't repeat the title of the thread in gigantic type at the beginning of your post. It's hard on the eye as well as unnecessary.
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  • JennyColadaJennyColada member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    If he's invited, you send him an invite. If he's invited as a VIP then you send him a STD.

    DH's sister told us (well FIL, who relayed the info to us) that SiL couldn't make it to the wedding.

    I still sent her an invite because she's still invited. If she wants to come then that's fine. If she doesn't want to come then that's her choice.

    If YOU don't want someone to come to your wedding then that's wten you don't send an invite.
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  • ChemFanatic25ChemFanatic25 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    mrsoz88 said:

    I just started a new job as an executive assistant to a Vice President of my company. This man is very big on etiquette.

    He mentioned in a conversation this week that he'll be out of town the same week of my wedding and casually mentioned how he'd be unable to attend. I was planning to send out my STDs this weekend (including his).

    A coworker said I should definitely still send him a STD and Invitation anyway, to let him know I was intending to invite him before I knew about his travel plans, and to give him an opportunity to send a gift if he wanted to.

    I don't want it to seem though that I'm fishing for a gift, since he knows I'm aware that he can't come.

    I need some opinions as to how to handle this one! Any input would be helpful! Thanks!!
    Send him the invite if you were already planning on him attending. Sometimes work plans fall through and he could still come but even if he can't I'd still send it.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    We sent STD to everyone on our guest list (I don't recommend this, but it worked fine for us).

    A cousin of my MIL told her they wouldn't be able to attend. MIL told us not to send them an invitation. I said no, we sent them a STD, they are getting an invitation, and they can decline if they can't come. Yup they came. 

    Always invite who you want to invite and let them respond accordingly.
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  • mrsoz88mrsoz88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited March 2015
    Thanks Ladies!

    (And woops! Thanks Jen4948, I didn't realize that typo happened when I copied/pasted the question. That is pretty obnoxious, sorry :))
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    mrsoz88 said:

    Thanks Ladies!


    (And woops! Thanks Jen4948, I didn't realize that typo happened when I copied/pasted the question. That is pretty obnoxious, sorry :))
    Well, thanks for fixing it. Much appreciated.
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