RSVP for wedding

ChemFanatic25 · March 2015

So my boyfriend was invited to a wedding and he is assuming that I was invited as well but is going to confirm that with the groom. We were discussing the RSVP and I actually don't have an answer for it just because I've never really filled out an RSVP and the one I did fill out was clearly listing who was invited. So it goes as the following.

M________________

Yes____

No. of Guests______

No ______

So stupid question. I assume you put the person who was invited (in my case my boyfriend's name) on the first line. Then you check 'Yes' and indicate 2 people are coming. Him and myself (if I'm invited - if not, no big deal, I can find other things to do that weekend.) He believes that in the 'No. of Guests' line you put how many people you are bringing with you and don't include yourself in that number. Which one is it, so that when he sends in the RSVP, the response doesn't screw up the bride and groom's final numbers?

Edit: I did try looking it up on google and I found ways to address invites and how to make up an RSVP but not how to fill it out properly. I feel very dumb right now that I can't even answer this question.

ChemFanatic25 · March 2015

I think I found the answer! I don't think I can include posts in this one but someone asked about how the wording of their RSVP should go and I was able to find my answer a little ways down.

My boyfriend would put his name (and mine - if invited) on the M line. Then in the No. of Guests he would put the number of who is attending including himself.

charlieyankee03 · March 2015

That's how I've always filled them out. Number of guests includes everyone on the invitation. If it's addressed to me and a guest, that is 2 guests that will be attending.

ChemFanatic25 · March 2015

charlieyankee03 said:
That's how I've always filled them out. Number of guests includes everyone on the invitation. If it's addressed to me and a guest, that is 2 guests that will be attending.

That's what I figured. My boyfriend thought if you write his name down on the M line, why would you include him in the number of guests? Like he thought - this is the number of guests I'm bringing with me. I can't believe how stumped I was by this. I guess I've only filled out one RSVP and it was addressed to both my ex and I so it was easy. Gosh, I feel so dumb. lol

huskypuppy14 · March 2015

ChemFanatic25 said:

charlieyankee03 said:
That's how I've always filled them out. Number of guests includes everyone on the invitation. If it's addressed to me and a guest, that is 2 guests that will be attending.

That's what I figured. My boyfriend thought if you write his name down on the M line, why would you include him in the number of guests? Like he thought - this is the number of guests I'm bringing with me. I can't believe how stumped I was by this. I guess I've only filled out one RSVP and it was addressed to both my ex and I so it was easy. Gosh, I feel so dumb. lol

Was the invite only addressed to him? Your name should have been on the envelope as well. I suppose you should clarify with the groom, but he shouldn't attend if you were not invited. That's just fucking rude.

You write both names on the M line, and indicate 2 guests.

buttercup1958 · March 2015

huskypuppy14 said:

ChemFanatic25 said:

charlieyankee03 said:
That's how I've always filled them out. Number of guests includes everyone on the invitation. If it's addressed to me and a guest, that is 2 guests that will be attending.

That's what I figured. My boyfriend thought if you write his name down on the M line, why would you include him in the number of guests? Like he thought - this is the number of guests I'm bringing with me. I can't believe how stumped I was by this. I guess I've only filled out one RSVP and it was addressed to both my ex and I so it was easy. Gosh, I feel so dumb. lol
Was the invite only addressed to him? Your name should have been on the envelope as well. I suppose you should clarify with the groom, but he shouldn't attend if you were not invited. That's just fucking rude.

You write both names on the M line, and indicate 2 guests.

I agree. This happen to V and I last fall. We recieved an invitation to a wedding from one of V's childhood friends. My name wasn't on it but their registry info was.....We didn't attend.

southernbelle0915 · March 2015

Your names next to the M; check/X next to Yes; and "2" next to number of guests.

JennyColada · March 2015

M:r So-and-so and Miss ChemFanatic
No of Guests: 2

Sugargirl1019 · March 2015

Definitely include your name as well on that M____________ line (if you find out you're invited?)

Because it will allow them to make place cards or seating arrangements without having to FB stalk you or contact you for the guests name and spelling

lovegood90 · March 2015

Is he actually still going if you're not invited?

flantastic · March 2015

Respond with both your names and 2 for # of guests. Your name should have absolutely been on the envelope, and you absolutely should be invited as a SO.

You know what we say when people respond with uninvited guests? We tell them to call up the guest and say, "Sorry but the invite was only for X & Y, hope you can still attend." If the couple does this, your boyfriend's response should be, "Sorry, but no I can't." Because the couple's behavior would be super rude to you and he shouldn't put up with that.

julieanne912 · March 2015

This is an issue my FI and I are having. On his guest list, he put down a bunch of names of guys he plays hockey with, or knew from a previous job or something. He didn't write down spouse (or even a line item for like, "Dave Smith spouse") so I know they at least have one. Once I discovered he did it once, I've been having to go through the entire list with him to ask him if someone is married or has an SO. I don't know many of the people on his list so I have no clue if they're married or anything. Thankfully I caught this issue before we are sending our STDs.

His reasoning was "Well, we can just put "# of guests" on the RSVP card and they can write it there." Ugh... NO. I explained to him that we are at the top of the venue capacity with the list as it is, so adding in extra people after the fact pretty much can't happen. He's finally getting it and we're making adjustments as necessary.

So anyway, I'm wondering if that is what happened here? Basically a clueless groom (or bride for that matter?) So yes, once it's confirmed you're invited, reply as listed above.

ChemFanatic25 · March 2015

I'm invited. My boyfriend told me last night the envelope was addressed to "Boyfriend and Guest." I didn't see the envelope because he threw it away so I asked him to clarify with the groom just in case.

Thank you for answering the question about the RSVP. I now understand why people write out everyone's names. I know this should be so simple but it's asking for mistakes to arise, know what I mean?

Also, if I had not be invited, I don't know if my boyfriend would have gone or not but I would have encouraged him to go. Reason being; I don't know these people. I may have met the groom once or twice but that's it. I recognize that it would have been rude if they had not included SO's but I would have scratched it up to an honest mistake and I wouldn't hold it against them. That's just me though. I'm not advocating poor etiquette just explaining how I think I would have reacted.

theartistformerlyknownas · March 2015

ChemFanatic25 said:
I'm invited. My boyfriend told me last night the envelope was addressed to "Boyfriend and Guest." I didn't see the envelope because he threw it away so I asked him to clarify with the groom just in case.

Thank you for answering the question about the RSVP. I now understand why people write out everyone's names. I know this should be so simple but it's asking for mistakes to arise, know what I mean?

Also, if I had not be invited, I don't know if my boyfriend would have gone or not but I would have encouraged him to go. Reason being; I don't know these people. I may have met the groom once or twice but that's it. I recognize that it would have been rude if they had not included SO's but I would have scratched it up to an honest mistake and I wouldn't hold it against them. That's just me though. I'm not advocating poor etiquette just explaining how I think I would have reacted.

Well technically, YOU'RE not invited. Someone is. That was still improper of them to not invite you by name.

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