Inviting work colleagues - what to do?

Re: Inviting work colleagues - what to do?

• thisismynickname2 member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  I'm sorry, that's B-listing. You can't do it without being terribly rude. 

  
  

  If you're short on numbers, upgrade the food and/or beverage!  Edit: Or don't upgrade, since you're on a budget, and enjoy the leftover funds. 

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• lovegood90 member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  shelkara said:

  Hi,
  My wedding is next month, on April 17. My fiance and I are planning a modest wedding, where we budgeted for roughly 75 people. Our friends and family pretty much filled that number out. I've gotten 53 acceptances so far, and the rest are still outstanding. RSVP due date is March 20. My question is, there are a few people at my work whom I really like and would like to invite if our numbers stay below our initial expected count of 75. Can I get away with inviting each person just on their own, or is that really rude, and I should just bite the bullet and give them a plus one they can bring? Not that I want anyone to come to our wedding alone, we're just trying to keep things within our budget since we're spending pretty much everything we have on this wedding.
  On top of that, I talked to my maid of honor about it, and she said she thought it was already too last-minute to invite the work colleagues, and it'd be really rude to ask them to come without a plus one.
  Any thoughts?
  

  
  
  Nope, it's too late to send invites out now. That would be B-listing.

  If you were sending these invites out at the same time as the others, you would need to invite them with their significant other (GF/BF/husband/wife/partner). If they are truly single then you can give them a "plus one" if you want. However this is a moot point because it is too late now.

  Also, since these are work colleagues I would tread extra carefully- I wouldn't want to risk my professional relationships with them/tarnish any future professional networking opportunities by potentially being rude and offending them by b-listing.
  

  Formerly martha1818

  

  
  

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• shelkara member

  

  March 2015

  I know it's B-listing; I've just heard that it's been done before -- wasn't sure how rude it was, or not. Thanks for your reply! I'm thinking it'd just be easier to not invite them. I just feel bad because I can't help talking about the wedding over our lunch hours, etc., and my colleagues are thoughtful and ask me how the planning is going all the time.
  

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• lovegood90 member

  

  March 2015

  shelkara said:

  I know it's B-listing; I've just heard that it's been done before -- wasn't sure how rude it was, or not. Thanks for your reply! I'm thinking it'd just be easier to not invite them. I just feel bad because I can't help talking about the wedding over our lunch hours, etc., and my colleagues are thoughtful and ask me how the planning is going all the time.
  

  Totally, it's understandable that it's hard not to talk about it. I would limit wedding talk as much as possible-ie if someone says "hows planning?" you can just say "oh, great, can't wait! How are things with you?" and change the subject.
  

  Formerly martha1818

  

  
  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  March 2015

  Your MOH is right. It's too late to invite them. B-listing is very rude, and you would have needed to include their s/o's anyway. 

  
  

  Stop talking about the wedding around them. It's pretty rude to talk to people about a party that they aren't invited to!

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• shelkara member

  

  March 2015

  Thanks lovegood90. I'll endeavor to not talk about it so much, but my colleagues might not make it easy!
  MyNameIsNot, I see where you're coming from, but it's not so easy to always skirt around a subject one is constantly being asked about. I work with a small group and everyone knows everyone's business.
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  March 2015

  It would be inappropriate to B-list them. I did have one person I invited last-minute, but that was only because I hadn't known prior to invitations going out that she would be in my life. And once she was, she was someone I really, really clicked with and wanted there.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• thisismynickname2 member

  

  March 2015

  shelkara said:

  Thanks lovegood90. I'll endeavor to not talk about it so much, but my colleagues might not make it easy!
  MyNameIsNot, I see where you're coming from, but it's not so easy to always skirt around a subject one is constantly being asked about. I work with a small group and everyone knows everyone's business.
  

  Honestly, I feel like coworkers are a different breed. I wouldn't worry much about it. If they ask questions and you answer, cool, but I think most people know that unless you are legitimately friends outside of work, coworkers are the last people included on an invite list to a wedding. 

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• Dreamergirl8812 member

  

  March 2015

  My co-workers asked me about my wedding all the time. I don't like standing around talking about myself, so it was somewhat self-limiting, but I still shared details with them. They were mostly interested in the dress, the venue, the honeymoon, etc.
  
  I also expressed, within the context of the conversation, that it was going to a be a very small wedding. It would have been awkward if I had invited some coworkers and not others. But I only invited close friends and family, so it was not awkward at all.
  
  And I would never B-list people I care about.
  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  

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