Providing favors for your own wedding shower??

AllisArtichokes · March 2015

I am a very crafty, DIY type of person and have been having a great time with all of my wedding crafts. One of my bridesmaids is throwing me a tea-party themed bridal shower in a few months, and I fell in love with the idea of making tea cup candles as favors for everyone who attends. Is it a major faux pas for the bride to be providing/making the favors for the guests, as technically I am not the host of the party?

AddieCake · March 2015

You really shouldn't, but the sky will not fall if you do.

MobKaz · March 2015

AllisArtichokes said:
I am a very crafty, DIY type of person and have been having a great time with all of my wedding crafts. One of my bridesmaids is throwing me a tea-party themed bridal shower in a few months, and I fell in love with the idea of making tea cup candles as favors for everyone who attends. Is it a major faux pas for the bride to be providing/making the favors for the guests, as technically I am not the host of the party?

Do you typically give favors in your "circle"? You don't want to inadvertently insult your host by bringing favors if she were not planning on offering them herself. She might take offense that you are suggesting she is remiss in not offering them.

I agree with Addie that it is probably best to let your hostess manage all components of the shower, but worlds would not collide if you made favors.

JoanE2012 · March 2015

I would not provide the favor for your own shower. I get that you're crafty, but I'd save it for a party that you host. If I were throwing your shower and you suggested this to me, I'd agree and be all for it so not to hurt your feelings.....but what I wouldn't be telling you is how I was feeling a bit hurt that whatever favors I had planned were probably not good enough. I know that's not your intention, but that's how I would feel.

JCbride2015 · March 2015

JoanE2012 said:
I would not provide the favor for your own shower. I get that you're crafty, but I'd save it for a party that you host. If I were throwing your shower and you suggested this to me, I'd agree and be all for it so not to hurt your feelings.....but what I wouldn't be telling you is how I was feeling a bit hurt that whatever favors I had planned were probably not good enough. I know that's not your intention, but that's how I would feel.

Yeah, this. The sky won't fall if you make your own favors, but it might hurt the feelings of the host.

blabla89 · March 2015

JCbride2015 said:

JoanE2012 said:
I would not provide the favor for your own shower. I get that you're crafty, but I'd save it for a party that you host. If I were throwing your shower and you suggested this to me, I'd agree and be all for it so not to hurt your feelings.....but what I wouldn't be telling you is how I was feeling a bit hurt that whatever favors I had planned were probably not good enough. I know that's not your intention, but that's how I would feel.
Yeah, this. The sky won't fall if you make your own favors, but it might hurt the feelings of the host.

Agree. It's not heinous like hosting your own shower, but still might hurt the hostess's feelings.

levioosa · March 2015

I think your heart is in the right place, but it isn't the best idea and may hurt the host's feelings. Sit back and enjoy! There will be plenty of other parties for you to host and DIY your heart away. Your bridal shower isnt' one of them.

thisismynickname2 · March 2015

JCbride2015 said: JoanE2012 said:I would not provide the favor for your own shower. I get that you're crafty, but I'd save it for a party that you host. If I were throwing your shower and you suggested this to me, I'd agree and be all for it so not to hurt your feelings.....but what I wouldn't be telling you is how I was feeling a bit hurt that whatever favors I had planned were probably not good enough. I know that's not your intention, but that's how I would feel.

Yeah, this. The sky won't fall if you make your own favors, but it might hurt the feelings of the host.

This is true. For a recent party I cohosted for a bride, I'd told the bride earlier in the week that I was making a certain dessert. I show up, and lo and behold, she'd made her own dessert. She's a type-A person who couldn't stand "not helping" but it was nearly identical to what I'd made! I was peeved. Not upset, not outright hurt but certainly peeved.

Maggie0829 · March 2015

No. Yeah, the sky won't fall if you do provide the favors, but I am sure the hosts of your shower have it covered. So just sit back and enjoy.

Penguins1987 · March 2015

I wanted to throw in my two cents here! When my sister got married, I threw her shower at a restaurant, and didn't have a huge budget for favors. I was going to make/buy cookies from a bakery, but felt very strongly about wanting fancy ones that were about $2.50 each and to give each of her 60 guests two.

Given that she was upgrading the favors, and fully volunteered to pay for them, I took no issue with this, and gladly picked them up and wrapped them beautifully.

If it's something you think your guests would really enjoy, I don't see an issue with it, as long as you discuss with the party hosts.

ChemFanatic25 · March 2015

amandavissichelli said:
I wanted to throw in my two cents here! When my sister got married, I threw her shower at a restaurant, and didn't have a huge budget for favors. I was going to make/buy cookies from a bakery, but felt very strongly about wanting fancy ones that were about $2.50 each and to give each of her 60 guests two.

Given that she was upgrading the favors, and fully volunteered to pay for them, I took no issue with this, and gladly picked them up and wrapped them beautifully.

If it's something you think your guests would really enjoy, I don't see an issue with it, as long as you discuss with the party hosts.

All I see is 60 guests invited to a shower. Holy Crayola!

Also you may want to change your user name. The internet has creepers and you want to be careful with putting your info out there.

labro · March 2015

Ehhhh, everyone has already given great advice.

I was sort of stuck in a similar dilemma with my own shower. I felt really overwhelmed with gratitude for everything my co-hosts were doing for the shower and I wanted to help out in some way. So I kept pushing to bring favors, and finally they outright told me they already had something in mind but I could bring something else if I wanted (though they thought it wasn't necessary). I finally got the hint and cancelled the order I had made for cake pops. It turns out one of the hostesses had brought back beautiful blown glass bottle stoppers from her recent trip to Italy that everyone at the shower loved....plus there was tons and tons of dessert items already and my cake pops would've been out of place.

If you're really feeling like you need to contribute, maybe consider doing something extra special as a thank you/hostess gift? That's definitely going to be one of the best ways to express your gratitude (with of course a verbal thanks and a thank you note).

blabla89 · March 2015

labro said:
Ehhhh, everyone has already given great advice.
I was sort of stuck in a similar dilemma with my own shower. I felt really overwhelmed with gratitude for everything my co-hosts were doing for the shower and I wanted to help out in some way. So I kept pushing to bring favors, and finally they outright told me they already had something in mind but I could bring something else if I wanted (though they thought it wasn't necessary). I finally got the hint and cancelled the order I had made for cake pops. It turns out one of the hostesses had brought back beautiful blown glass bottle stoppers from her recent trip to Italy that everyone at the shower loved....plus there was tons and tons of dessert items already and my cake pops would've been out of place.
If you're really feeling like you need to contribute, maybe consider doing something extra special as a thank you/hostess gift? That's definitely going to be one of the best ways to express your gratitude (with of course a verbal thanks and a thank you note).

This is a great suggestion. If you're feeling crafty, why not put together a tea party themed thank you gift basket for the hostess?

JoanE2012 · March 2015

blabla89 said:

labro said:
Ehhhh, everyone has already given great advice.
I was sort of stuck in a similar dilemma with my own shower. I felt really overwhelmed with gratitude for everything my co-hosts were doing for the shower and I wanted to help out in some way. So I kept pushing to bring favors, and finally they outright told me they already had something in mind but I could bring something else if I wanted (though they thought it wasn't necessary). I finally got the hint and cancelled the order I had made for cake pops. It turns out one of the hostesses had brought back beautiful blown glass bottle stoppers from her recent trip to Italy that everyone at the shower loved....plus there was tons and tons of dessert items already and my cake pops would've been out of place.
If you're really feeling like you need to contribute, maybe consider doing something extra special as a thank you/hostess gift? That's definitely going to be one of the best ways to express your gratitude (with of course a verbal thanks and a thank you note).
This is a great suggestion. If you're feeling crafty, why not put together a tea party themed thank you gift basket for the hostess?

I think that's a great idea! OP, you can still put your creative skills to use, but without potentially hurting anyone's feelings.

Penguins1987 · March 2015

ChemFanatic25 said:

All I see is 60 guests invited to a shower. Holy Crayola!

Also you may want to change your user name. The internet has creepers and you want to be careful with putting your info out there.

OMG I know! We had a much smaller list and then te MOG wanted her entire female guest list invited, and we allowed it to keep peace. Thanks for the heads up!! New here and didn't even realize what my username was! Sorry for derailing the convo!

I also love the tea themed hostess gift idea!

Ps hope I did that quote thing right, new here!

Providing favors for your own wedding shower??

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