So the parents got together for a wedding related meeting. It was very comforting to see both families getting along so well. At some point during the conversation, FI's parents mentioned that his late grandmother had a ring, and that they wanted to give it to me. Before any of this was said, my parents told me that my late grandmother left me an unset diamond.
I spoke with my FI at length about what he wanted to do. He knows I love my engagement ring but he also knows that I could make the ring a pendant and assured me that he is perfectly fine with going in either direction. I weighed the pros and cons to each option. Pro for the unset diamond is that we can create a setting that would incorporate my wedding band. My grandmother also survived the holocaust and this was one of the few possessions she had when she was liberated. Con, its not sentimental to FI's family.
While I understand that my future in-laws are able to choose whomever they wish to receive the ring, I don't feel right accepting it. First, I did not know my FI's grandmother. Second, I have a FSIL, and I fear that accepting this ring will cause problems later down the line. I think she would prefer to have a family heirloom as her engagement ring and I would honestly hate to accept something that she would value more than I would. I know that this ring holds high sentimental value and I would feel wrong if I changed the structure of his grandmother's ring. My last reason is super shallow (and I do feel badly even admitting this), but the diamond in my FI's late grandmother's ring is not as large as the one my grandmother left to me.
If you were in my position, would you accept the unset diamond? Accept the family heirloom, or would you skip both? Also, if you chose the diamond, how would you break the news to your future in-laws?