So having lurked the forums a bit, I've come to understand that giving your bridesmaids matchy matchy jewelry as a thank-you gift is not acceptable. I completely get the reasoning on that (it's something for the wedding day rather than a true thank-you that they can enjoy after and apart from the wedding, it might not be their style, something that you require someone to wear is not a gift, etc etc) and thanks to everything I've read here I will be doing more personal and non-wedding related gifts for my bridesmaids.
But, I'm wondering if the same rule applies for a thank you gift for flower girls? Our flower girls are our nieces who are quite special to us and I would like to get them a small-ish gift as a thank-you for their brief role in our ceremony. I would be willing to spend up to maybe 50-60$ for something nice. We have offered to pay for their outfits, not as a gift per se but just because I didn't want to burden my future siblings-in-law with too many extra costs. Currently I'm not sure what is happening with that (one of my FSILs insisted that wasn't necessary, the other I think will take us up on it). I know some people will say to just get them a small toy as a thank-you gift but to be honest these girls are the type that have have sooo many toys and little dolls and everything you can imagine.. they are rather spoiled in a material sense with toys all the time by both sets of grandparents, great-grandparents, us aunts and uncles etc. And they have so many toys that their moms complain about it constantly and are always having to donate toys, sell toys on facebook, throw out toys etc. They also have crazy amounts of clothing (at least in terms of every day wear) due again to being spoiled by the grandparents with new outfist every time they go out. Gift cards are not the best option either because a) that leads to the kids going to a store and wanting to pick out more toys! and b) both the moms have infants right now and I know from comments they've made before about gift cards and store credit that they hate going into stores for the older kids to pick something out because it's a hassle having to take the baby and the toddlers and the older kids, and the kids take forever, etc etc. Lately for Christmas and Birthdays and stuff we have moved towards trying to giving them books (since I view reading as more enriching than some monster high doll), and we try to give them experiences rather than junky toys (ie. spending time with them) so we will take them out to the movies, local events and festivals, etc. But they live four hours away so we don't get to do experiences with them super often, only when we visit.
So I was thinking of a decent-quality necklace
like this. It's nothing too extravagant/fine that I wouldn't give it to a six year old or be upset if the six year old eventually lost is, as they tend to do, but it's also not like the super cheaply made stuff I've seen on etsy/plastic pearls from Ardene's. I feel like it's a cute little necklace that doesn't scream wedding (so they could wear it for any occasion) and it seems like it would sort of be a nicer, more grown-up piece (as opposed to plastic costume jewelry) for them to have to remind them of how special they are to us and to sort of mark them getting older and more responsible and therefore being gifted something other than toys or dolls. And I would by no means "require" them to wear it at the wedding. I would simply give it to them and express my thanks (probably at the rehersal), and if they want to wear it as the wedding that's cool, but if not that's completely fine too, it really doesn't matter to me if they wear it for the wedding day. So would it still be poor etiquette to give matching jewelry as a thank-you gift to my flower girls? If so, does anyone have other gift suggestions?