Entree choices in response cards?

margaritaaa · March 2015

We're getting married in September and we will be deciding on our dinner menu 3 months prior to the wedding date (venue's rule). We're planning on sending out wedding invites 10 weeks prior to the wedding, which means we won't have enough time to print the menu choices on the response cards and send them out in time, even though we're ordering invites online, it still take a few weeks to receive orders (assuming there are no order/shipping/quality issues)

Is it absolutely necessary to ask guests for entree choices in the response cards, or is there an alternative to this? I have been unsuccessful in trying to move up our tasting earlier in order to avoid this issue.

theartistformerlyknownas · March 2015

Your venue will tell you whether they need counts of each entree ahead of time, or allow tableside ordering. Normally, they need counts.

Can you at least narrow it down to the types? For example, my response cards listed chicken, fish, and vegetarian. After we had them printed, we decided on the specific stuffed chicken, salmon, and mushroom strudel. We included the detail on an insert.

Maggie0829 · March 2015

First you really don't need to send your invites any earlier then 8 weeks prior so that gives you an extra week to get your invites ordered and to you.

Second, you need to talk to your venue about how they typically handle orders. Do they do table side ordering or do they need to know who is getting what prior to your wedding? If they do table side ordering then you don't have to include choices in your response card. If they do require a number ahead of time then you may need to talk to the place where you are ordering your invites about getting a quick turnaround on your order.

downtondiva · March 2015

Ask your venue. Mine doesn't require listing meal choices on the response card.

novella1186 · March 2015

lolo883 said:
Your venue will tell you whether they need counts of each entree ahead of time, or allow tableside ordering. Normally, they need counts.

Can you at least narrow it down to the types? For example, my response cards listed chicken, fish, and vegetarian. After we had them printed, we decided on the specific stuffed chicken, salmon, and mushroom strudel. We included the detail on an insert.

This is what I was going to say too. Have the response cards printed with just the general types, and then maybe include a menu insert that details what they are once you decide. You can't print the menus at your home or office so you could do it last minute.

SammiNJonni · March 2015

If your venue needs to know the entree choice ahead of time just do generic choices. Beef, Chicken, Fish on your response card. And when the menu is final add a description of each entree on your website or an insert you print at home.

MandyMost · March 2015

SammiNJonni said:
If your venue needs to know the entree choice ahead of time just do generic choices. Beef, Chicken, Fish on your response card. And when the menu is final add a description of each entree on your website or an insert you print at home.

You don't need to give guests more detailed menu information. Just "Chicken" or "Fish" or "Beef" etc., is fine. I would assume you know how many choices you'll be giving your guests, and have an idea of what you want to serve already, so you don't need the tasting before printing the response cards.

But also, 8 weeks is more than enough time for invites--you don't want to send them earlier than that, or people will think "oh, that's so far out, I don't know, I'll send it in later" and then forget. If you have your tasting 12 weeks out, that gives you 4 weeks to get your invites printed and mailed. If you're working with an invite company, you can always have them print everything else first, and then just do the response card after the tasting, but I assume 4 weeks is plenty of time to print the whole thing!

novella1186 · March 2015

MandyMost said:
If your venue needs to know the entree choice ahead of time just do generic choices. Beef, Chicken, Fish on your response card. And when the menu is final add a description of each entree on your website or an insert you print at home.

You don't need to give guests more detailed menu information. Just "Chicken" or "Fish" or "Beef" etc., is fine. I would assume you know how many choices you'll be giving your guests, and have an idea of what you want to serve already, so you don't need the tasting before printing the response cards.

But also, 8 weeks is more than enough time for invites--you don't want to send them earlier than that, or people will think "oh, that's so far out, I don't know, I'll send it in later" and then forget. If you have your tasting 12 weeks out, that gives you 4 weeks to get your invites printed and mailed. If you're working with an invite company, you can always have them print everything else first, and then just do the response card after the tasting, but I assume 4 weeks is plenty of time to print the whole thing!

I disagree with the bolded. I have a sensitive stomach so there's a lot of stuff I can't eat. I'd definitely need to pick my meal choice based on the details or I could get extremely sick/not get to eat anything.

There are people with random allergies or food intolerance that need to know exactly what they're eating.

There are people who are just extremely picky and might not want beef with bourbon glaze but would take beef with cherry glaze etc etc etc.

southernbelle0915 · March 2015

First, invites shouldn't go out any more than 8 weeks in advance, so that will give you more time to figure out menu specifics.

I agree with lolo that you can generalize the selections (chicken, beef, vegetarian) and direct people to your website for specifics. Just make sure specifics are on your website when people receive invitations.

I also agree with novella that you DO need to provide specifics. With everyone and their mom having allergies and restrictions these days, people will want to know if the chicken is stuffed with cheese (lactose intolerance) or if the beef dish is served with apple pecan risotto (nut allergy). KWIM?

cupcait927 · March 2015

novella1186 said:

MandyMost said:
If your venue needs to know the entree choice ahead of time just do generic choices. Beef, Chicken, Fish on your response card. And when the menu is final add a description of each entree on your website or an insert you print at home.

You don't need to give guests more detailed menu information. Just "Chicken" or "Fish" or "Beef" etc., is fine. I would assume you know how many choices you'll be giving your guests, and have an idea of what you want to serve already, so you don't need the tasting before printing the response cards.

But also, 8 weeks is more than enough time for invites--you don't want to send them earlier than that, or people will think "oh, that's so far out, I don't know, I'll send it in later" and then forget. If you have your tasting 12 weeks out, that gives you 4 weeks to get your invites printed and mailed. If you're working with an invite company, you can always have them print everything else first, and then just do the response card after the tasting, but I assume 4 weeks is plenty of time to print the whole thing!

I disagree with the bolded. I have a sensitive stomach so there's a lot of stuff I can't eat. I'd definitely need to pick my meal choice based on the details or I could get extremely sick/not get to eat anything.

There are people with random allergies or food intolerance that need to know exactly what they're eating.

There are people who are just extremely picky and might not want beef with bourbon glaze but would take beef with cherry glaze etc etc etc.

Honestly, if someone has allergies/is picky/needs special food, they'll get in contact with the bride or groom to get the specifics. Unless every single person on the guest list has issues, it's really not necessary to elaborate on RSVP card what the meal choices are. I had 65 guests invited and maybe 10 of those people asked me for specifics.

photokitty · March 2015

cupcait927 said:

novella1186 said:

MandyMost said:
If your venue needs to know the entree choice ahead of time just do generic choices. Beef, Chicken, Fish on your response card. And when the menu is final add a description of each entree on your website or an insert you print at home.

You don't need to give guests more detailed menu information. Just "Chicken" or "Fish" or "Beef" etc., is fine. I would assume you know how many choices you'll be giving your guests, and have an idea of what you want to serve already, so you don't need the tasting before printing the response cards.

But also, 8 weeks is more than enough time for invites--you don't want to send them earlier than that, or people will think "oh, that's so far out, I don't know, I'll send it in later" and then forget. If you have your tasting 12 weeks out, that gives you 4 weeks to get your invites printed and mailed. If you're working with an invite company, you can always have them print everything else first, and then just do the response card after the tasting, but I assume 4 weeks is plenty of time to print the whole thing!
I disagree with the bolded. I have a sensitive stomach so there's a lot of stuff I can't eat. I'd definitely need to pick my meal choice based on the details or I could get extremely sick/not get to eat anything.

There are people with random allergies or food intolerance that need to know exactly what they're eating.

There are people who are just extremely picky and might not want beef with bourbon glaze but would take beef with cherry glaze etc etc etc.

Honestly, if someone has allergies/is picky/needs special food, they'll get in contact with the bride or groom to get the specifics. Unless every single person on the guest list has issues, it's really not necessary to elaborate on RSVP card what the meal choices are. I had 65 guests invited and maybe 10 of those people asked me for specifics.

I want to agree with you, but despite asking guests to tell me about dietary restrictions (we had a buffet) I had a hard core vegetarian forget to note it on the response card or contact me. Luckily the venue had some just in case.

If you send your invites out at 8 weeks, as etiquette dictates, you should have time to have them printed and solve all the issues.

marie2785 · March 2015

southernbelle0915 said:
First, invites shouldn't go out any more than 8 weeks in advance, so that will give you more time to figure out menu specifics.

I agree with lolo that you can generalize the selections (chicken, beef, vegetarian) and direct people to your website for specifics. Just make sure specifics are on your website when people receive invitations.

I also agree with novella that you DO need to provide specifics. With everyone and their mom having allergies and restrictions these days, people will want to know if the chicken is stuffed with cheese (lactose intolerance) or if the beef dish is served with apple pecan risotto (nut allergy). KWIM?

For this, couldn't you just add something on the invitation insert that said:

----------------------------

___chicken

___beef

___fish

Please let us know of any food allergies.

------------------------------------------------

My venue will customize the dish for guests so it doesn't contain the allergens and is made in a special "allergen free" zone of the venue. We have plenty of nut/lactose/gluten allergies on the guest list so I'm sure they'll have to do this for a few people. If your venue can't do customize dishes, you can contact the attendees who select a dish that wont work for their allergies and give them another option. It'd be a safe way to handle guests who wont look at the website.

southernbelle0915 · March 2015

marie2785 said:

southernbelle0915 said:
First, invites shouldn't go out any more than 8 weeks in advance, so that will give you more time to figure out menu specifics.

I agree with lolo that you can generalize the selections (chicken, beef, vegetarian) and direct people to your website for specifics. Just make sure specifics are on your website when people receive invitations.

I also agree with novella that you DO need to provide specifics. With everyone and their mom having allergies and restrictions these days, people will want to know if the chicken is stuffed with cheese (lactose intolerance) or if the beef dish is served with apple pecan risotto (nut allergy). KWIM?
For this, couldn't you just add something on the invitation insert that said:
----------------------------
___chicken
___beef
___fish

Please let us know of any food allergies.
------------------------------------------------
My venue will customize the dish for guests so it doesn't contain the allergens and is made in a special "allergen free" zone of the venue. We have plenty of nut/lactose/gluten allergies on the guest list so I'm sure they'll have to do this for a few people. If your venue can't do customize dishes, you can contact the attendees who select a dish that wont work for their allergies and give them another option. It'd be a safe way to handle guests who wont look at the website.

Yes, I think that would work, but I'd still try to find a way to give specifics.

Personally, I still like to know what I'm ordering. I mean, "beef" could mean anything from brisket sandwich to steak fajitas to beef wellington to filet oscar. Who knows what sides? If it's a brisket sandwich, I'd rather have chicken. If it's filet oscar, bring it on.

I mean, I would never walk into a restaurant and be like "I'll have beef... just surprise me. I don't care about specifics." I guess I would provide people with more information because I know I would want to know.

novella1186 · March 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

marie2785 said:

southernbelle0915 said:
First, invites shouldn't go out any more than 8 weeks in advance, so that will give you more time to figure out menu specifics.

I agree with lolo that you can generalize the selections (chicken, beef, vegetarian) and direct people to your website for specifics. Just make sure specifics are on your website when people receive invitations.

I also agree with novella that you DO need to provide specifics. With everyone and their mom having allergies and restrictions these days, people will want to know if the chicken is stuffed with cheese (lactose intolerance) or if the beef dish is served with apple pecan risotto (nut allergy). KWIM?
For this, couldn't you just add something on the invitation insert that said:
----------------------------
___chicken
___beef
___fish

Please let us know of any food allergies.
------------------------------------------------
My venue will customize the dish for guests so it doesn't contain the allergens and is made in a special "allergen free" zone of the venue. We have plenty of nut/lactose/gluten allergies on the guest list so I'm sure they'll have to do this for a few people. If your venue can't do customize dishes, you can contact the attendees who select a dish that wont work for their allergies and give them another option. It'd be a safe way to handle guests who wont look at the website.
Yes, I think that would work, but I'd still try to find a way to give specifics.

Personally, I still like to know what I'm ordering. I mean, "beef" could mean anything from brisket sandwich to steak fajitas to beef wellington to filet oscar. Who knows what sides? If it's a brisket sandwich, I'd rather have chicken. If it's filet oscar, bring it on.

I mean, I would never walk into a restaurant and be like "I'll have beef... just surprise me. I don't care about specifics." I guess I would provide people with more information because I know I would want to know.

Yeah, like I said in an earlier post, I have a really sensitive stomach. So does my mom, FI's dad, and 2 of my aunts. If it's beef with bell peppers, I'm gonna get sick. If it's black-pepper-coated beef, I'm gonna get sick.

I don't have a food intolerance or allergy, so I wouldn't have to alert the host. I mean, a gluten-free dish or dairy-free dish or vegetarian dish could definitely have stuff in it that will make me sick.

People can have food issues aside from allergies. And it's not uncommon.

marie2785 · March 2015

novella1186 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

marie2785 said:

southernbelle0915 said:
First, invites shouldn't go out any more than 8 weeks in advance, so that will give you more time to figure out menu specifics.

I agree with lolo that you can generalize the selections (chicken, beef, vegetarian) and direct people to your website for specifics. Just make sure specifics are on your website when people receive invitations.

I also agree with novella that you DO need to provide specifics. With everyone and their mom having allergies and restrictions these days, people will want to know if the chicken is stuffed with cheese (lactose intolerance) or if the beef dish is served with apple pecan risotto (nut allergy). KWIM?
For this, couldn't you just add something on the invitation insert that said:
----------------------------
___chicken
___beef
___fish

Please let us know of any food allergies.
------------------------------------------------
My venue will customize the dish for guests so it doesn't contain the allergens and is made in a special "allergen free" zone of the venue. We have plenty of nut/lactose/gluten allergies on the guest list so I'm sure they'll have to do this for a few people. If your venue can't do customize dishes, you can contact the attendees who select a dish that wont work for their allergies and give them another option. It'd be a safe way to handle guests who wont look at the website.
Yes, I think that would work, but I'd still try to find a way to give specifics.

Personally, I still like to know what I'm ordering. I mean, "beef" could mean anything from brisket sandwich to steak fajitas to beef wellington to filet oscar. Who knows what sides? If it's a brisket sandwich, I'd rather have chicken. If it's filet oscar, bring it on.

I mean, I would never walk into a restaurant and be like "I'll have beef... just surprise me. I don't care about specifics." I guess I would provide people with more information because I know I would want to know.
Yeah, like I said in an earlier post, I have a really sensitive stomach. So does my mom, FI's dad, and 2 of my aunts. If it's beef with bell peppers, I'm gonna get sick. If it's black-pepper-coated beef, I'm gonna get sick.

I don't have a food intolerance or allergy, so I wouldn't have to alert the host. I mean, a gluten-free dish or dairy-free dish or vegetarian dish could definitely have stuff in it that will make me sick.

People can have food issues aside from allergies. And it's not uncommon.

I agree having the full menu on the RSVP card is the best choice. I am moreso thinking for weddings where you have to order the invite early, before you can do a tasting and pick a certain item. It's more or less a safety option for people who wont look at the website closer to the date (where ideally the full menu would be located).

I just contacted a paper company who told me I needed to order my invites 6 months in advance...(uh, missed that boat), so I know it happens sometimes.

southernbelle0915 · March 2015

marie2785 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

marie2785 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

I agree having the full menu on the RSVP card is the best choice. I am moreso thinking for weddings where you have to order the invite early, before you can do a tasting and pick a certain item. It's more or less a safety option for people who wont look at the website closer to the date (where ideally the full menu would be located).

I just contacted a paper company who told me I needed to order my invites 6 months in advance...(uh, missed that boat), so I know it happens sometimes.

******etf boxes********

That paper company is pulling the same shenanigans that David's Bridal and other dress shops pull. They just want to lock in your business (or order dresses) so they can get your money.

Unless you're specifying the forest you want the wood pulp harvested from so they can go custom cut it and process it (or unless they're extremely disorganized/understaffed), they don't need 6 months to put ink on paper.

marie2785 · March 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

marie2785 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

marie2785 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

I agree having the full menu on the RSVP card is the best choice. I am moreso thinking for weddings where you have to order the invite early, before you can do a tasting and pick a certain item. It's more or less a safety option for people who wont look at the website closer to the date (where ideally the full menu would be located).

I just contacted a paper company who told me I needed to order my invites 6 months in advance...(uh, missed that boat), so I know it happens sometimes.

******etf boxes********

That paper company is pulling the same shenanigans that David's Bridal and other dress shops pull. They just want to lock in your business (or order dresses) so they can get your money.

Unless you're specifying the forest you want the wood pulp harvested from so they can go custom cut it and process it (or unless they're extremely disorganized/understaffed), they don't need 6 months to put ink on paper.

-------------------------wtf boxes----------------------------

If that's their plan they failed. I'm going with minted, wedding paper divas or another online source. No way am I paying a rush charge on top of an already ridiculous price!

novella1186 · March 2015

marie2785 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

marie2785 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

marie2785 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

I agree having the full menu on the RSVP card is the best choice. I am moreso thinking for weddings where you have to order the invite early, before you can do a tasting and pick a certain item. It's more or less a safety option for people who wont look at the website closer to the date (where ideally the full menu would be located).

I just contacted a paper company who told me I needed to order my invites 6 months in advance...(uh, missed that boat), so I know it happens sometimes.

******etf boxes********

That paper company is pulling the same shenanigans that David's Bridal and other dress shops pull. They just want to lock in your business (or order dresses) so they can get your money.

Unless you're specifying the forest you want the wood pulp harvested from so they can go custom cut it and process it (or unless they're extremely disorganized/understaffed), they don't need 6 months to put ink on paper.

-------------------------wtf boxes----------------------------

If that's their plan they failed. I'm going with minted, wedding paper divas or another online source. No way am I paying a rush charge on top of an already ridiculous price!

----------------another box fail-----------------------------------------------

Check out Zazzle too. They have some cool stuff. Or Vista print-- cheaper and fast shipping.

banana468 · March 2015

6 months is an INSANE lead time for printing. No printing company should take that long.

You can also see about ordering your invitations with a request for the response cards last - and once your meal is set. Unless your invitations are all going to be printed from one master die or sheet of cardstock, it doesn't make sense that you can't order the response cards at a different time.

I'm also going to echo that you should be detailed. Some people are just picky and others do have sensitive stomachs. When in doubt, try to be specific. Our menu options were:

-filet mignon in mushroom gravy

-chicken florentine

-poached salmon in dill sauce

-pasta primavara

Those were very clear choices so those who hated spinach wouldn't order the chicken and those who didn't like dill wouldn't order the salmon.

margaritaaa · March 2015

I'm just going to make a general post here. Thanks for all the suggestions from everyone.

I was planning on sending invites out 10 weeks ahead because 25% of our list is international.

I do have to provide the venue with a count for the entree choices, they're making it really complicated for me. I guess the safest choice at this point would be to provide vague choices (i.e. chicken, beef, veggie, etc)

Would it be appropriate to add a line for guests to indicate any sensitivities or food allergies?

banana468 · March 2015

You can add that line but it could open the door to comments like, "I want the beef but only if it has no onions. If it does then I want the chicken but not if it's a thigh because that's too fatty and PLEASE tell them not to make the gravy with anything but pan drippings and even then it needs to be with gluten free cornstarch. Oh, and if you have cucumbers, please remove them or my diverticulitis will flare up and your Uncle Earl will have to give me an enema in order to make it home."

[Deleted User] · March 2015

margaritaaa said:
I'm just going to make a general post here. Thanks for all the suggestions from everyone.

I was planning on sending invites out 10 weeks ahead because 25% of our list is international.

I do have to provide the venue with a count for the entree choices, they're making it really complicated for me. I guess the safest choice at this point would be to provide vague choices (i.e. chicken, beef, veggie, etc)

Would it be appropriate to add a line for guests to indicate any sensitivities or food allergies?

While international mail can be sketchy at times, I'd still send out all your invitations at 8 weeks. Email your international folks a scanned copy of your invitation and tell them they're getting one in the mail but here's a scanned one in case it never arrives. In fact, email your international folks right now and tell them that you're doing this so they know to start planning Passports and Visas. Tell them they can just email you an RSVP once they get the invitation because you couldn't put international postage on their RSVP envelopes.

theartistformerlyknownas · March 2015

Sending invites at 10 weeks is not the end of the damn world. Holy cow.

My guests definitely appreciated having the details available. Some would have ordered the chicken, until they realized it had mushroom sauce. Others love fish but hate salmon. Many meat eaters (>20) ordered the veg dish because it sounded so good (bonus, cheaper for me). It's definitely not required but it's an easy, appreciated courtesy to guests. Who wouldn't want to provide that if they could?

Liatris2010 · March 2015

Don't worry about it too much. People can change their mind the day of. If you have 77 people order the beef and 23 order the chicken, its not like the venue is only going to have 77 pieces of beef and 23 pieces of chicken on hand. What if a chef over cooks something or a waiter drops a tray? Venues are prepared with more food. So if a handful of people are like, "Oh I didn't realize the beef has a mushroom sauce, I want the chicken." the venue should be able to accommodate it.

If you really want to give people the descriptions, put it on a wedding website. Printed cards have beef, chicken, veggie. Website has the details. People who care will seek out the details.

hyechica81 · March 2015

i made sure my response card had the meal choices as my venue needed a head count

it went___________ attending

______ not attending

then i had my meal choices listed

____ baked twin stuffed lobster tails,

_____ chicken francaise

____prime rib

_____ eggplant parmigiana

i also had detailed food information on our wedding website such as what the food came with like the chicken francaise is dipped in egg batter and a lemon butter sauce

the sides etc

i only had one person with food alergies and she let me know via text that she couldnt have the sauce or breading on the chicken

margaritaaa · March 2015

adk19 said:

margaritaaa said:
I'm just going to make a general post here. Thanks for all the suggestions from everyone.

I was planning on sending invites out 10 weeks ahead because 25% of our list is international.

I do have to provide the venue with a count for the entree choices, they're making it really complicated for me. I guess the safest choice at this point would be to provide vague choices (i.e. chicken, beef, veggie, etc)

Would it be appropriate to add a line for guests to indicate any sensitivities or food allergies?
While international mail can be sketchy at times, I'd still send out all your invitations at 8 weeks. Email your international folks a scanned copy of your invitation and tell them they're getting one in the mail but here's a scanned one in case it never arrives. In fact, email your international folks right now and tell them that you're doing this so they know to start planning Passports and Visas. Tell them they can just email you an RSVP once they get the invitation because you couldn't put international postage on their RSVP envelopes.

Yeah that seems like way too much unnecessary effort and would probably confuse people, especially since some of them don't have email/access to a computer. I don't think it's a big deal sending invites out at 10 weeks. It's not like it's four months, or six months prior.

Entree choices in response cards?

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