Poor Etiquette Sightings on FB

artbyallie · March 2015

Some people are so tacky.

From someone I went to college with (note that this person was in H's graduating class and is therefore 30 or about to be):

"The more I plan things for our wedding, the more I realize it is SO about to be about our love for one another and a food truck. ya'll better prep to BYOB and bring a tray of cookies... It will be beautiful and lovely and the cheapest thing I've ever pulled off. lol."

Same person, excerpt from a 'woe is me' type status:

"Officially reached max capacity with opinions on my wedding and my life in general."

Maybe you shouldn't post about your wedding/life/etc. all over FB if you don't want opinions. Maybe you shouldn't post about your wedding on FB when you're not inviting all of us seeing this crap.

Posted by the another bride-to-be's mother (and subsequently shared by bride-to-be):

"Ok friend's do you want to be invited to / help with the [Smith-Jones] Wedding events in 2015, 2016 and 2017 ?

I need your contact information (your email address, phone/text numbers and home addresses) - Send your information to [specialaddresswithweddingname] so you will be on the contact list."

I'm sorry, hon, but everyone is going to be so sick of your wedding by the time it rolls around if you have years worth of 'wedding events.' Also grammar. And basically suggesting people should be asking you if they can work at your wedding.

I vent here so I don't sink to their level by responding on FB.

huskypuppy14 · March 2015

Someone who is friends with my sister is pregnant with her second child. She wrote on Facebook, "Sprinkle is still on today." Someone wrote they didn't know she was having one.

I'm thinking, are you planning your own sprinkle?

margaritaaa · March 2015

huskypuppy14 said:
Someone who is friends with my sister is pregnant with her second child. She wrote on Facebook, "Sprinkle is still on today." Someone wrote they didn't know she was having one.

I'm thinking, are you planning your own sprinkle?

What is a sprinkle?

TrixieJess · March 2015

What is a sprinkle?

A "Sprinkle" is a term for a second or third baby shower. It's supposed to fill in the gaps that moms may have between children. They are tacky.

novella1186 · March 2015

My friend's little sister posted a photo of all her underwear on facebook yesterday with a caption that was something like "wow I officially realized I have so many panties! Hehe! Better stop buying new ones all the time!"

Um... do you really think that ALL OF FACEBOOK needs to see your underwear?

edited for clarity: She spread all the underwear out on her floor to set up the photo. Ugh.

huskypuppy14 · March 2015

TrixieJess said:

What is a sprinkle?

A "Sprinkle" is a term for a second or third baby shower. It's supposed to fill in the gaps that moms may have between children. They are tacky.

In the box:

A sprinkle is ok if it's a small group of friends and it's a surprise for the Mom. I've been to a couple sprinkles and they were not tacky. We just bought her some diapers, maybe a cute outfit and took her out to lunch. But the point is they are not a huge to do, and the mom does not register.

The facebook post rubbed me the wrong way, because the mom should not be promoting her own party.

goblue111315 · March 2015

novella1186 said:
My friend's little sister posted a photo of all her underwear on facebook yesterday with a caption that was something like "wow I officially realized I have so many panties! Hehe! Better stop buying new ones all the time!"

Um... do you really think that ALL OF FACEBOOK needs to see your underwear?

edited for clarity: She spread all the underwear out on her floor to set up the photo. Ugh.

I hate people.

banana468 · March 2015

huskypuppy14 said:

TrixieJess said:

What is a sprinkle?
A "Sprinkle" is a term for a second or third baby shower. It's supposed to fill in the gaps that moms may have between children. They are tacky.

In the box:
A sprinkle is ok if it's a small group of friends and it's a surprise for the Mom. I've been to a couple sprinkles and they were not tacky. We just bought her some diapers, maybe a cute outfit and took her out to lunch. But the point is they are not a huge to do, and the mom does not register.

The facebook post rubbed me the wrong way, because the mom should not be promoting her own party.

This. I had a sprinkle on each side of the family (my family and ILs) for DS. There was no registry, the parties were intimate and it's also what we do in the family.

mollybarker11 · March 2015

A fb friend posted the first of several reminders for people to RSVP six weeks out from the wedding date / three weeks out from the RSVP-by date. I was not invited myself, but I know the timeline because they posted pictures of the invitations on fb as well.

Cookie Pusher · March 2015

banana468 said:

huskypuppy14 said:

TrixieJess said:

What is a sprinkle?
A "Sprinkle" is a term for a second or third baby shower. It's supposed to fill in the gaps that moms may have between children. They are tacky.

In the box:
A sprinkle is ok if it's a small group of friends and it's a surprise for the Mom. I've been to a couple sprinkles and they were not tacky. We just bought her some diapers, maybe a cute outfit and took her out to lunch. But the point is they are not a huge to do, and the mom does not register.

The facebook post rubbed me the wrong way, because the mom should not be promoting her own party.
This. I had a sprinkle on each side of the family (my family and ILs) for DS. There was no registry, the parties were intimate and it's also what we do in the family.

Yep, I am okay with those kinds of sprinkles. I attended one for a dear friend of ours, and there were seriously like 10 people in attendance. Very small and intimate, basically an excuse for us to all get together for a nice lunch and catch up. I think most of us brought diapers, onesies, or little things like that.

TrixieJess · March 2015

My issue is that the "Sprinkles" I have been invited to have been full out showers called something else, registry and all.

I have no problem with a small group of people who get together and get a couple of diapers and cute outfits. The ones that I have seen are to "fill the gaps" and ask for things like cribs, change tables and other large ticket items either because their first still uses it or it has been a while and they are starting over.

ShesSoCold · March 2015

A FB friend of mine was pregnant with her second kid and made SO MANY posts about throwing her own shower, including whining about it.

"Does anyone know of any cheap places to have my shower? The VFW wanted $250! I can't afford that LOL!"

"I need to know who wants to come to my shower so I can send you an invitation. Send me your address".

"Wow throwing a shower is so expensive! It better be worth it hahaha"

I would un-friend her if watching her train wreck life wasn't so entertaining.

novella1186 · March 2015

ShesSoCold said:
A FB friend of mine was pregnant with her second kid and made SO MANY posts about throwing her own shower, including whining about it.

"Does anyone know of any cheap places to have my shower? The VFW wanted $250! I can't afford that LOL!"

"I need to know who wants to come to my shower so I can send you an invitation. Send me your address".

"Wow throwing a shower is so expensive! It better be worth it hahaha"

I would un-friend her if watching her train wreck life wasn't so entertaining.

I would be so tempted to comment with, "Then don't do it and spend the money on the crap you were trying to get other people to buy for you instead."

Spend $500 on a shower so people can bring you a few boxes of diapers and some outfits? Or take the $500 and just go shopping? Wow, tough one.

pinupbride6189 · March 2015

ShesSoCold said:
A FB friend of mine was pregnant with her second kid and made SO MANY posts about throwing her own shower, including whining about it.

"Does anyone know of any cheap places to have my shower? The VFW wanted $250! I can't afford that LOL!"

"I need to know who wants to come to my shower so I can send you an invitation. Send me your address".

"Wow throwing a shower is so expensive! It better be worth it hahaha"

I would un-friend her if watching her train wreck life wasn't so entertaining.

People actually rent venues for showers/sprinkles? In my circle it's always been done at someone's home. Maybe I'm just uncultured swine? :P

ShesSoCold · March 2015

pinupbride6189 said:

ShesSoCold said:
A FB friend of mine was pregnant with her second kid and made SO MANY posts about throwing her own shower, including whining about it.

"Does anyone know of any cheap places to have my shower? The VFW wanted $250! I can't afford that LOL!"

"I need to know who wants to come to my shower so I can send you an invitation. Send me your address".

"Wow throwing a shower is so expensive! It better be worth it hahaha"

I would un-friend her if watching her train wreck life wasn't so entertaining.

People actually rent venues for showers/sprinkles? In my circle it's always been done at someone's home. Maybe I'm just uncultured swine? :P

I've been to both, definitely more at homes though. But this girl lived in a one bedroom apartment and was throwing the shower herself. I'm pretty sure it ended up being in a park.

badbnagdway · March 2015

TrixieJess said:
My issue is that the "Sprinkles" I have been invited to have been full out showers called something else, registry and all.

I have no problem with a small group of people who get together and get a couple of diapers and cute outfits. The ones that I have seen are to "fill the gaps" and ask for things like cribs, change tables and other large ticket items either because their first still uses it or it has been a while and they are starting over.

So, I don't have that many friends with kids (yet). But FI has a friend who has one four-year old and another baby on the way. We were both invited to a shower (was not called a sprinkle) for the second baby. Yes, men were invited to this shower, in fact I was the only woman there other than the hostess and the mom. I think second baby is also a boy but allegedly they didn't think they'd be having another baby and they therefore didn't keep any baby stuff (really?). So they full on registered for things like car seat, strollers, etc. At least the host and hostess paid for our lunch, which we frankly weren't expecting. FI was super annoyed that he had to attend a baby shower. They also invited one of FI's younger friends who is a broke college student who gave them a gift card.

Overall it was just a blatant seeming gift grab.

Jells2dot0 · March 2015

My SIL posted pics of her daughter's graduation party invitations and favors yesterday. I know that maybe 1% of her friends on FB would be invited to this party.The favors were kind of cute, but I thought it was kind of odd to have favors for a grad party. I then noticed a few things about the invite. I saw the date, I noticed the party is before the graduation. Also, there are three pictures of the daughter on the invite- two of them are just her and then the one in the center is of her and my SIL. Um, what? Why is it not a pic of JUST the graduate? If you feel strongly about including others in the picture, why not include a family picture?

lovesclimbing · March 2015

pinupbride6189 said:

ShesSoCold said:
A FB friend of mine was pregnant with her second kid and made SO MANY posts about throwing her own shower, including whining about it.

"Does anyone know of any cheap places to have my shower? The VFW wanted $250! I can't afford that LOL!"

"I need to know who wants to come to my shower so I can send you an invitation. Send me your address".

"Wow throwing a shower is so expensive! It better be worth it hahaha"

I would un-friend her if watching her train wreck life wasn't so entertaining.

People actually rent venues for showers/sprinkles? In my circle it's always been done at someone's home. Maybe I'm just uncultured swine? :P

I've only ever been to showers at someone's home or at church. I also am one of those people who don't mind multiple showers. I find it a fun chance to coo over the baby if it's born already, have fun with friends, eat yummy food, and, yes, I do like playing the games!

Also, most of the showers I've been to have been more of what people here refer to as a "sprinkle" (I'd never heard the term before TK). I have yet to go to one where people registered for huge things like strollers, high chairs, cribs, car seats, etc.

novella1186 · March 2015

Jells2dot0 said:
My SIL posted pics of her daughter's graduation party invitations and favors yesterday. I know that maybe 1% of her friends on FB would be invited to this party.The favors were kind of cute, but I thought it was kind of odd to have favors for a grad party. I then noticed a few things about the invite. I saw the date, I noticed the party is before the graduation. Also, there are three pictures of the daughter on the invite- two of them are just her and then the one in the center is of her and my SIL. Um, what? Why is it not a pic of JUST the graduate? If you feel strongly about including others in the picture, why not include a family picture?

lol that is hilarious! Oh man...

justsie · March 2015

I just really have an issue with using the word "sprinkle" in the same sentence as talking about babies. It gives me flashbacks.

futuremrshp · March 2015

I'm not sure if it's poor etiquette, but my good friend is getting married this year as well but about 4 months after me. She was commenting about how I didn't post stuff about the wedding on FB and was wondering why. I told her that it's the safest route -- esp if you don't know your budget or the venue or anything yet. And then like 3 days later, after she posted "We finally chose a venue -- its for the Sunday of Labor Day weekend! Yeah!" and then complained to me in like an hour about random cousins and friends from another state who said that they booked a ticket and would be there. I was like, girl, don't be putting your business all out there! She was surprised by the "woodwork". I just told her good luck with that one -- I gave her fair warning! I told her that I learned early on to not post anything --- you'll know I'm in engaged... and then you'll know I'm married. The end!

rcher912 · March 2015

A couple of my bridesmaids were complaining that I don't post anything either, and I basically said what you did, @futuremrshp - our guest list is too small for people to start assuming things! That's just ASKING for awkward conversations. I'm already having a few, I don't need more.

I did, however, once get excited about sending out STDs. I think that was it, I forget. But yeah, facebook statuses = 1.

flutteringinfl · March 2015

One girl I know who's getting married...this weekend? Maybe next? I'm not sure, but anyway, she made a post about how she's not changing her name and that her name is still "Jane Smith" (which is also her username) "in case anyone wants to send me any checks or packages!" I kind of rolled my eyes at that one. If I'm not invited to your wedding, I'm not getting you a gift, sister.

Another girl I know made her wedding a public FB event. I have no idea if that means they're having some kind of "open guest list" (which would drive me insane), or if they just lack tact.

WildMagelet · March 2015

So...today I saw someone posted a copy of a FB friend of mine's invitation to her wedding that they just received in the mail. Date, time, location, everything. There's already jokes about people crashing the wedding.

Also - this wedding isn't for another 7 months. Why do they need invites out this early?

/facepalm

madamerwin · March 2015

I refuse to post anything wedding-related on FB, because it seems (though maybe not technically?) like it's against etiquette to talk about something that not everyone will be invited to. Plus I don't want to open a can of worms with people asking if they are invited, or hurt anyone's feelings.

But a friend of mine, who is getting "married" around the same time as me, recently posted something to the effect of "Wedding planning sucks. Life sucks. Everything sucks."

First of all, she got married last summer, and the "wedding" is a PPD (She is still using her maiden name, and their "anniversary" will be the date of the PPD.). While her very closest friends know about the real wedding last year, it was clear that many people don't - the responses to her post included ones like "I'm not excited for your wedding because it will be beautiful or because who's going to be at my table with me. I'm excited for your wedding because I get to be a witness to the joining of two incredible people in a love that is inspiring."

Except you are NOT witnessing their joining, they joined last year. And you just don't know that.

So besides it being an AW-ish post to begin with, she's stressing about planning a PPD.

A note to lurkers who YOUR PPD is fine because your "family and friends love you and will be happy to be there no matter what": I love this friend. But I side-eye the shit out of her PPD.

PurplekittenMew · March 2015

I know what a "sprinkle" is, but every time I see that work, I picture people getting together and peeing on a baby,

frenchiekin · March 2015

WildMagelet said:
So...today I saw someone posted a copy of a FB friend of mine's invitation to her wedding that they just received in the mail. Date, time, location, everything. There's already jokes about people crashing the wedding.

Also - this wedding isn't for another 7 months. Why do they need invites out this early?

/facepalm

This. Why do people do this?? We sent out our STDs this week and I have been maniacally checking FB/Instagram to see if any over-zealous aunts or excited but slightly clueless friends have posted a photo of it so I can shut that S down. I know people just do it without thinking about it and don't have bad intentions, but just - WHY?

I also realize how irrational this anxiety is, but I can't help it.

lmcooper86 · March 2015

A former co-worker of mine made a post on FB a few weeks ago, along the lines of "If you've been wondering where your wedding invitation is and if you haven't heard already, we've postponed the wedding. In the last year (all of these things) happened, and we had to make sacrifices, but it's still happening, just not this year (but I'm still having a dress fitting in 2 weeks!!!!). It's going to be an amazing party on (date) and (place). It'll be a weekend-long party and we're so excited!"

Are you kidding me??? I doubt you were planning on inviting your entire Facebook friend list. Why on earth would you post your wedding date and a very specific location? Maybe I'll take a road trip next summer...

Another FB friend keeps posting wedding questions, like: What's the best way to get addresses for our wedding invitations? How do I get a marriage license? What's the easiest way to make a seating chart? The answer to all of these is obviously to ask Facebook!

Heffalump · March 2015

PurplekittenMew said:
I know what a "sprinkle" is, but every time I see that work, I picture people getting together and peeing on a baby,

I do the same thing, except I picture the baby peeing on them. DS was a big sprinkler.

TrixieJess · April 2015

I just saw one this weekend. A girl who I know through mutual friends but am not friends with on FB asked for an RSVP for her wedding on a mutual friend's feed. It shows up on mine because we're friends. Really? That doesn't deserve a PM?

Poor Etiquette Sightings on FB

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