Bridal shower invitations - registry

Re: Bridal shower invitations - registry

• rcher912 member

  

  March 2015

  Yikes, haha. That is pretty bold, actually, just straight up asking for gift cards. I say call and ask about the registry, and then call her out a little if you need to. Remind her that showers are for physical gifts, and not everyone's comfortable giving money/GCs, and so even a very small registry is better than no registry.

  
  

  I'm pretty shocked that was on the wedding invite.

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• redoryx member

  

  March 2015

  Honestly? I'd call her out on it because it IS rude. A shower is a gift giving event. That means gifts, not gift cards. Nobody wants to sit around watching a woman open a bunch of gift cards. If she's not registered or doesn't want boxed gifts she shouldn't have a shower. 

  
  

  What you could do is just host a bridal luncheon which is not a gift giving event then you're off the hook on having to provide any sort of information related to the registry or gift cards. 

  

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• Iamnowmrsjms member

  

  March 2015

  If she is asking for gift cards for stores "x and y," then I will assume that she is intending to purchase items with those gift cards, right? Why not just suggest making a registry for those items for the reasons PP's noted.  I don't see anything wrong with pointing this out to her. 

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• novella1186 member

  

  March 2015

  redoryx said:

  Honestly? I'd call her out on it because it IS rude. A shower is a gift giving event. That means gifts, not gift cards. Nobody wants to sit around watching a woman open a bunch of gift cards. If she's not registered or doesn't want boxed gifts she shouldn't have a shower. 

  
  

  What you could do is just host a bridal luncheon which is not a gift giving event then you're off the hook on having to provide any sort of information related to the registry or gift cards. 

  This 

  
  

  
  

  futuremrsjms said:

  If she is asking for gift cards for stores "x and y," then I will assume that she is intending to purchase items with those gift cards, right? Why not just suggest making a registry for those items for the reasons PP's noted.  I don't see anything wrong with pointing this out to her. 

  Or this. Either let her know that showers are for actual gifts so she needs a real registry, or switch it to a non-gift event. 

  

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• lovesclimbing member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  redoryx said:

  Honestly? I'd call her out on it because it IS rude. A shower is a gift giving event. That means gifts, not gift cards. Nobody wants to sit around watching a woman open a bunch of gift cards. If she's not registered or doesn't want boxed gifts she shouldn't have a shower. 

  
  

  What you could do is just host a bridal luncheon which is not a gift giving event then you're off the hook on having to provide any sort of information related to the registry or gift cards. 

  See, the way I was looking at this is if I put nothing on the invitation people can still buy her boxed gifts without having a registry.  Many of the gifts I received at my shower were not off my registry.

  
  

  At first, they were talking about doing a physical registry. They actually called us and asked how we did our registry for a certain store (it's a smaller chain and doesn't have an online registry).  I'm guessing they decided to go the gift cards route because it was simpler.

  
  

  They certainly do need household items!  He's a bachelor who has very little cookware and household things.  She is living at home until getting married, so she doesn't have any or has very few of her own household and kitchen things.

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• novella1186 member

  

  March 2015

  lovesclimbing said:

  Honestly? I'd call her out on it because it IS rude. A shower is a gift giving event. That means gifts, not gift cards. Nobody wants to sit around watching a woman open a bunch of gift cards. If she's not registered or doesn't want boxed gifts she shouldn't have a shower. 

  
  

  What you could do is just host a bridal luncheon which is not a gift giving event then you're off the hook on having to provide any sort of information related to the registry or gift cards. 

  See, the way I was looking at this is if I put nothing on the invitation people can still buy her boxed gifts without having a registry.  Many of the gifts I received at my shower were not off my registry.

  
  

  At first, they were talking about doing a physical registry. They actually called us and asked how we did our registry for a certain store (it's a smaller chain and doesn't have an online registry).  I'm guessing they decided to go the gift cards route because it was simpler.

  
  

  They certainly do need household items!  He's a bachelor who has very little cookware and household things.  She is living at home until getting married, so she doesn't have any or has very few of her own household and kitchen things.

  
  
  Maybe do a themed shower, like a kitchen shower. Then everyone has a general idea of what to get without a registry. 

  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  March 2015

  I say don't put anything in the invites. In the mean time, work on her and ask, "when people call to RSVP, if they ask where you are registered, where should I tell them?" If she says, just tell them gift cards "Well you might want to register for some actual items so that way you can get items you want and not stuff that people will think you will like or you could end up with 10 sets of towels in a color you hate & then you have return all those  things." If she still refuses to register any where, there is nothing you can do except advise the guests that she didn't register any where when they ask.

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• redoryx member

  

  March 2015

  lovesclimbing said:

  Honestly? I'd call her out on it because it IS rude. A shower is a gift giving event. That means gifts, not gift cards. Nobody wants to sit around watching a woman open a bunch of gift cards. If she's not registered or doesn't want boxed gifts she shouldn't have a shower. 

  
  

  What you could do is just host a bridal luncheon which is not a gift giving event then you're off the hook on having to provide any sort of information related to the registry or gift cards. 

  
  
  See, the way I was looking at this is if I put nothing on the invitation people can still buy her boxed gifts without having a registry.  Many of the gifts I received at my shower were not off my registry.

  
  

  At first, they were talking about doing a physical registry. They actually called us and asked how we did our registry for a certain store (it's a smaller chain and doesn't have an online registry).  I'm guessing they decided to go the gift cards route because it was simpler.

  
  

  They certainly do need household items!  He's a bachelor who has very little cookware and household things.  She is living at home until getting married, so she doesn't have any or has very few of her own household and kitchen things.

  
  
  No, I understand that. But some people are going to want to know if she IS registered. Plus, the registry is there for the guests, not the bride: it's a tool to help them get an idea of what they need and what their style is. So now, if a guest wants to know they have to call you, the host, which makes extra work for both you and the guest simply because the bride doesn't know basic etiquette (like the fact that info shouldn't be anywhere on the wedding invitation).

  
  

  novella1186's idea and make it a themed shower so it's easier on guests

  

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• lovesclimbing member

  

  March 2015

  Thanks for all the advice.  I've decided to make it a kitchen-themed shower and include a recipe card if people want to bring a favorite recipe.

  
  

  I called her this morning just to verify the time and date we'd decided would still work for her. I asked if they were registered and they said no, they decided to do the gift card thing because registering was a pain.  So, I said well, some people like to give physical gifts and maybe I won't put anything and people will bring whatever.  And she said that was fine.

  
  

  Registering now would be a bit difficult for them.  As of today, they are living in different locations, both in small towns without stores, until the wedding.  So registering would have to be done entirely online (with spotty and expensive internet) from two different locations.

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• Iamnowmrsjms member

  

  March 2015

  @lovesclimbing Good decision on doing the kitchen themed shower.

   

  I did all of my registering online and it was prety easy.  It's more of a pain to return items that she gets and doesn't like, instead of taking a couple of hours out of her day, to register online.  IMO

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• kvruns member

  

  March 2015

  Target has a registry app, so if that is a store they will be near that might help if it is easier to do something on their phone through a data plan than with wifi at random locations.

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