Self-serve bar?

pinupbride6189 · March 2015

Is this ok? Or is it weird?

We will, of course, be hosting the bar for our guests, but apparently this is just how our venue handles the bar at weddings. They provide all the glassware, etc. but don't actually have anyone serve the alcohol. If we have everything clearly visible, and maybe some signage suggesting that it's a self-serve situation? something along the lines of "Welcome! Please help yourself to X Beer, Y Beer, and Z Beer, as well as, A Wine, B Wine, and C Wine."

The coordinator isn't really making it sound like we have the option of bringing anyone in, so we may be stuck with it, but I'm just wondering what the general feeling is on this. I personally don't think I'd have an issue if I showed up at a wedding and didn't have someone to hand me my beer, but I don't get to speak for everyone, so let me know what you guys think.

artbyallie · March 2015

I would hire someone to serve the alcohol.

pinupbride6189 · March 2015

Ok, thank you. We'll start looking into our options for that.

Maggie0829 · March 2015

scribe95 said:
If it literally just pouring beer and wine I would find it odd but totally doable. You get into mixed drinks and that would be a mess. I wonder if this is to limit liability for them if they have no one watching then they can't be sued for not cutting someone off etc.

This.

Also, are they going to at least have someone tend the bar area? Meaning, keeping it clean and organized and fully stocked? And how are beers kept cold? Are they in tubs of ice? Coolers? What about wine that needs to be served cold?

A bartender does more then just hand you a beer of pours you a glass of wine. They watch over your crowd and cuts people off when they think they have had too much.

Also, if you have a self serve bar then the rest of your wedding should be equally as casual.

kvruns · March 2015

I would see about hiring someone, especially if you're talking mixed drinks. Plus just making sure the area stays clean, things are stocked/kept cold/etc that sounds odd. Is the venue serving water/tea/cokes/lemonade stuff? or is that part of the self-serve too?

novella1186 · March 2015

Maggie0829 said:
If it literally just pouring beer and wine I would find it odd but totally doable. You get into mixed drinks and that would be a mess. I wonder if this is to limit liability for them if they have no one watching then they can't be sued for not cutting someone off etc.

This.

Also, are they going to at least have someone tend the bar area? Meaning, keeping it clean and organized and fully stocked? And how are beers kept cold? Are they in tubs of ice? Coolers? What about wine that needs to be served cold?

A bartender does more then just hand you a beer of pours you a glass of wine. They watch over your crowd and cuts people off when they think they have had too much.

Also, if you have a self serve bar then the rest of your wedding should be equally as casual.

This. I would absolutely hire someone. What if beer gets spilled and no one bothers to clean it up? What if a glass falls and breaks? What if some of the guests are way over-serving themselves and there's no one to cut them off? What if the bar area just becomes a big sloppy mess or stuff runs out, or clean glasses run out? Bar tenders do a lot more than pour, just like Maggie said.

ETF words

maeday2 · March 2015

I really wonder about the liability issue here.

Our reception is going to be at a private family residence and our caterer also offers bartending services. We are purchasing the alcohol, and they bring mixers. The reason we hired them is the liability falls on them and not my family if something were to happen.

They are trained to not only make/pour drinks, but to make sure no one is over-served. Also like mentioned above, I would want someone keeping the bar area well stocked and cleaned.

banana468 · March 2015

I would hire someone.

The bartender can cut someone off AND he can prevent people from just walking off with the wine and beer. Otherwise what's stopping someone from just taking a bottle to the table just 'cause?

Also, will there be any kind of wait staff? I ask because a lot of old school women (my grandmother's generation definitely falls into this group) will not go up and get their own drinks. That's the job of a gentleman or the wait staff. And sometimes a gentleman isn't at the table.

thisismynickname2 · March 2015

I think it's weird with too big a group. Sure, we can all host dinner parties or regular parties of 20-30 or more people and have self-serve, but I fail to see how that works with larger groups given all the reasons previously stated.

Plus, since it's a "wedding," I think I'd be really confused by self-serve! Backyard BBQ yes, wedding, no. I'd look at even your signs and think, "Really? No, seriously? You sure?"

pinupbride6189 · March 2015

To answer some questions, we are doing beer and wine only, so no hard liquor or mixed drinks. The venue is providing catering/wait staff, so there will be service for non-alcoholic beverages. The buffet station is in the same location as the bar, so I am thinking there would be staff watching the bar area, just not serving, but that does raise a very good question.

As for the formality of the event, it is going to be pretty casual. A short garden ceremony with around 70-80 guests. Dinner is buffet style with BBQ pork, fried chicken, mac 'n' cheese, etc.

It may be a liability issue as some of you have stated. The venue is a mountain resort, and the reception is being held in a hall in a lodge on the property. So we have the entire lodge for the entire weekend. The bridal party is staying there, as are FI and I, etc. Maybe their stance on alcohol is different since this is a place where people regularly bring their own while vacationing or staying for any other non-wedding event? I did have the foresight when we booked to ask if we needed to get our own event insurance, or if they were covered as far as liability goes, and they said they were covered, but I don't know if something perhaps wouldn't fall under that insurance if it were related to alcohol?

Thank you everyone! Very solid advice all around, and you brought up some questions I wouldn't have thought of on my own. I'll be getting in touch with my coordinator regarding all of the points you raised, and will definitely looking into hiring someone to bar tend.

kaitlynmichelle · March 2015

For liability reasons alone I would hire a bartender. There are too many issues that could pop up with a self serve bar.

If your venue said you couldn't bring in a bartender I would be seriously questioning them.

badbnagdway · March 2015

I would hire a licensed bartender. Not only will they be responsible for cutting people off, if that is needed, they will keep the bar area neat and clean. I can foresee things getting messy quick with self-serving.

Edit just to say, in our area you can get a bartender for four hours for roughly $125. Some will be more, some less. It should be pretty easy to find someone.

MandyMost · March 2015

pinupbride6189 said:

To answer some questions, we are doing beer and wine only, so no hard liquor or mixed drinks. The venue is providing catering/wait staff, so there will be service for non-alcoholic beverages. The buffet station is in the same location as the bar, so I am thinking there would be staff watching the bar area, just not serving, but that does raise a very good question.

So if you want a soda they'll give it to you, but if you want a beer you have to get it yourself? That is just so odd.

Honestly, if all the beverages were self-serve (i.e. coolers refilled by staff, glasses restocked by staff, etc., but you get the drink yourself) and it was a casual back-yard-style wedding that would be maybe acceptable. But I just can't imagine pouring myself a glass of wine at a wedding. Even when you go to someone's house, they usually offer you a drink (if they're a good host). Yeah, you might end up getting yourself one..at some point, but a host will still likely be offering throughout the night (i.e. "can I get you anything? Anyone need anything? I'm going to the kitchen, do you need a refill", etc.). Assuming you're not going to be hosting your wedding in this way...really, this is why people hire people to do stuff at weddings, because they're not going to do it themselves as the hosts in this situation...you should hire someone.

TrixieJess · March 2015

You need to hire someone to serve and keep track of your guests' consumption. The FSIL of my friend was having her reception at the church hall and needed to find a certified bartender as per the venue. I stepped in when the person they had backed out.

Serve yourself ups your liability as a host. If something were to happen to one of your guests after your Reception, you would personally be liable not the venue. Hiring someone to mete out drinks is one way to ensure that you are CYA.

kaitlynmichelle · March 2015

Back when I was a waitress for one summer, a local couple hired myself and another girl as bartenders for their wedding since their venue was the local hall and they didn't have staff there. They paid us $20 an hour and the bride out out a tip jar for us. Also it was a cash bar. It was a strange wedding.

lyndausvi · March 2015

MandyMost said:

To answer some questions, we are doing beer and wine only, so no hard liquor or mixed drinks. The venue is providing catering/wait staff, so there will be service for non-alcoholic beverages. The buffet station is in the same location as the bar, so I am thinking there would be staff watching the bar area, just not serving, but that does raise a very good question.

So if you want a soda they'll give it to you, but if you want a beer you have to get it yourself? That is just so odd.

Honestly, if all the beverages were self-serve (i.e. coolers refilled by staff, glasses restocked by staff, etc., but you get the drink yourself) and it was a casual back-yard-style wedding that would be maybe acceptable. But I just can't imagine pouring myself a glass of wine at a wedding. Even when you go to someone's house, they usually offer you a drink (if they're a good host). Yeah, you might end up getting yourself one..at some point, but a host will still likely be offering throughout the night (i.e. "can I get you anything? Anyone need anything? I'm going to the kitchen, do you need a refill", etc.). Assuming you're not going to be hosting your wedding in this way...really, this is why people hire people to do stuff at weddings, because they're not going to do it themselves as the hosts in this situation...you should hire someone.

--------------------- stupid non-boxes --------------------

Odd? Yes.

In most states bartenders or anyone serving alcohol have to go through some-sort of alcohol responsibility course. Some even require full blown licenses. Others you just need to prove your took the course.

If this venue does not sell alcohol it's unlikely they have staff with the correct credentials and even if they did their license and/or insurance might not allow them to serve alcohol anyway.

To the OP: for liability reasons I would get a licensed bartender. Think of it as insurance. The added benefit is your guests are served and the area will be kept clean and tidy.

WinstonsGirl · March 2015

I'd bring the bottle of wine back the table personally, cos I'd be too lazy to go back for another glass. Find a bartender. And I second asking the venue specifically about liability issues. Cover your ass is always number one.

Viczaesar · March 2015

I would absolutely hire a certified bartender for liability reasons if nothing else.

pinupbride6189 · March 2015

Thanks everyone. I'll be drafting up an email this evening to send to my coordinator with these questions. They have recommended vendors for just about everything (down to a harpist) except bar tending, so I'll definitely be doing some digging and looking into hiring someone in the area.

00kim00 · March 2015

We had a self serve bar at my wedding. Our set up was similar, we had the property to ourselves for the week and there were cabins and tents for guests and it was very casual. Some people did take a bottle of wine or two to their table. It was fine, we made sure there was more than enough. A couple of people probably did drink a little too much. It was fine, they were staying there anyway. And we knew our crowd enough that no one was going to do anything particularly stupid: on my side were friends (either work friends including our boss or other friends with their young children) and family (parents were there, and no one in my family will get stupid drunk in front of our parents), and my husband's side was church friends including the pastor, friends with young children, or family. Knowing our crowd and having a relatively small wedding under 50 people, liability wasn't a huge concern of ours

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