Wearing sweats to my wedding

[Deleted User] · March 2015

Less than 8 months to the wedding and still no dress. I don't like anything. I'm too picky. I've been to 8 stores and been through nearly 80 dresses. This is garbage.

julieanne912 · March 2015

Stop being so picky and just go with something you're comfortable in (although maybe not sweats). You still have plenty of time anyway.

[Deleted User] · March 2015

i wish i could be less picky but i'm the same way buying regular socks. i annoy myself really. I always find something and always say "i like this not that, that not this" etc. I did really like one dress but it was very yellow in color and didn't come any whiter. I must be cursed!

Do you really think I have enough time? I starting to sweat.

southernbelle0915 · March 2015

If your picky all the time about everything and you're never really in love with stuff you buy, then just buy one you like and/or can live with.

You sound like a function over fashion girl. So choose a dress based on what's comfortable, not heavy, not hot, one you can move/dance/walk in. Then, of the really comfortable ones, choose the one you like best.

I wouldn't expect your personality or outlook on clothes to change just because you're in the market for a certain kind of dress.

novella1186 · March 2015

I didn't fall in love with any particular dress. There were 3 or 4 I liked, but I couldn't decide. And I actually didn't like dress shopping and just wanted the process to be over.

I ended up writing out a list of things I loved and things I hated about each dress. I loved the neckline on #1 but I hated the fabric. I loved the lacy details on #2 but I hated the neckline. I loved the back and buttons on dress 3, but it had weird straps that were super itchy and couldn't be removed.

So I went to try on dresses again and said to myself, "As soon as I find the one that has a neckline similar to dress 1, lacy details similar to dress 2, and a back and buttons similar to dress 3, with none of those things I hate, I will quit looking." That's what happened. And I'm really happy with my decision. I wasn't very excited when I chose the dress. I was just kind of "meh. I'm glad it's over." But every time I see it, I know I made the right choice. I had my first fitting this past Saturday and I really loved having my dress on. I was looking at the others in the store and kept thinking "Mine is better than any of these"

Good luck!

justsie · March 2015

I was the same way. I "kinda" liked so many, but never enough to commit. Then I just realized I don't need a breakdown moment over a dress, if I feel great its the one for me. I found one I thought my butt looked good in (a feat in itself) and felt comfortable/sexy in and that was the one. Boom, done looking.

[Deleted User] · March 2015

I'm happy to hear I'm not crazy and that others have had trouble finding the "perfect" dress. I guess I'll see how these next 3 appointments I have go and then just decide from there. Or else I'll drive myself nuts.

novella1186 i'll keep this strategy in mind..wish me luck!

Maggie0829 · March 2015

Also, remember that you can over shop for wedding dresses. You can try on so many dresses that you can confuse the shit out of yourself.

To add on to novella's advice you should start with finding a shape that you like. Forget about the material or the embellishments, just find an overall shape that you think makes you look good. Once you find that then try on that shape in various fabrics. Pick the fabric that you like best. Once you do that you kind of say "well I want more bling" or "I want some flower" or "I want ruffles", etc. Just focus on one aspect at a time. And then when you get down to say 3 dresses that are in the running, have your consultant "jack you up" by putting on a veil, a head piece, some jewelry. Sometimes it really helps to see the "final" look to make a determination.

amelisha · March 2015

It's just a piece of clothing. It's really not that important. I know Say Yes To The Dress and the entire wedding industry have been trying their damndest to indoctrinate you into believing that there is ONE PERFECT DRESS OUT THERE FOR EVERY BRIDE~!!!11!! and if you don't find it and feel an emotional and spiritual connection to it you've failed as a bride and as a woman, but I swear...it's just something you wear while you get married, and it's the getting married part that is actually significant. The dress is SUCH a superficial thing, it honestly is.

Just pick one in your budget that you like and look good in and don't worry about whether or not it's your perfect dress. Seriously.

novella1186 · March 2015

Maggie0829 said:
Also, remember that you can over shop for wedding dresses. You can try on so many dresses that you can confuse the shit out of yourself.

To add on to novella's advice you should start with finding a shape that you like. Forget about the material or the embellishments, just find an overall shape that you think makes you look good. Once you find that then try on that shape in various fabrics. Pick the fabric that you like best. Once you do that you kind of say "well I want more bling" or "I want some flower" or "I want ruffles", etc. Just focus on one aspect at a time. And then when you get down to say 3 dresses that are in the running, have your consultant "jack you up" by putting on a veil, a head piece, some jewelry. Sometimes it really helps to see the "final" look to make a determination.

Yes, this! I started very general. First step: I realized I look best in "fit and flare."

Second step: I decided I do not like strapless.

Third step: I decided I do not like satin, and preferred lace.

From there, I just narrowed down the details, as in my earlier post.

MandyMost · March 2015

mrstaraboo said:
I'm happy to hear I'm not crazy and that others have had trouble finding the "perfect" dress. I guess I'll see how these next 3 appointments I have go and then just decide from there. Or else I'll drive myself nuts.

novella1186 i'll keep this strategy in mind..wish me luck!

It's not that other brides have had trouble finding the "perfect" dress, it's that the "perfect" dress does not exist, so it can't be found. Some brides find a dress they love, and others find a dress they like enough to wear.

My advice is to pick a few adjectives of how you want to look on that day. Then put on a dress and say "Do I look sexy? Do I look glamorous? Do I look beautiful? Do I look expensive"" or whatever your adjectives are. If you say yes to all 3-4 adjectives, and you can afford the dress, then go for it.

[Deleted User] · March 2015

Thanks, ladies! I will do my best to not be so picky and negative at my next appointment. It definitely helps hearing your strategies! I was really wondering how people have been able to decide so quickly.

madamerwin · March 2015

I feel like shows like SYTTD set unrealistic expectations... While some people may have that teary-eyed, "this is MY dress!" moment, it seems like more people than not, don't. I really like my dress, but is it THE one? Probably not. I may have eventually found one I like even more, but I like my dress enough to wear it for one day. I tried on 4 dresses total, and that's as many as I wanted to try on.

If you really think you will never find THE dress, maybe you could take 1 or 2 of your most trusted advisors to try on dresses, and when you find a few you like enough, let them decide?

Also, I think PPs have said this already, but you can over-shop for a dress. Are you familiar with the Paradox of Choice? In short, it states that the more choices you are presented with, the less satisfied you will be with your final decision, because you will always think about the other options you had (and possibly wonder if you made a bad choice). Figure out a couple of characteristics you want in a dress - so for you, color=white, material=lace, etc., pick 3 dresses that fulfill those requirements, and then let someone else tell you which looks best.

Good luck, and I'm sure whatever you decide, you'll look beautiful!

mrscomposer · March 2015

mrstaraboo said:
Thanks, ladies! I will do my best to not be so picky and negative at my next appointment. It definitely helps hearing your strategies! I was really wondering how people have been able to decide so quickly.

The reason it was so easy for me to find my dress? I knew I had to find it THAT DAY. We had a really short engagement, so I wasn't going to be able to order something - I had to walk out with it in my hand, so I wasn't expecting to have a SYTTD moment. I had to be pragmatic about it.

That said, I had a few ideas about what I WANTED (fit and flare/mermaid), and ended up looking blech in those types of dresses. I was with my mom, sister, and two BFFs (bridesmaids), and we basically blitzed through the store and all grabbed everything we thought I should try on (in every different style we could find). And then I was just cutthroat about it - if I didn't like something about the dress, it was done. Our consultant kept a running tally of the things I found out I DID like, and would bring other dresses that fit those pluses.

In the end, it was down to a princess ballgown style (that I picked out), and a flowy sheath (that the consultant picked out). When I originally put on the sheath, I didn't like it, but BFF#1 convinced me to put a sash on it, which totally changed the look of the dress and bumped it into the top two. Then I tried them both on again, and when I had the sheath on for the second time, I started thinking about what my dad would look like in his uniform, what J would look like in his suit... thought about our music and walking down the aisle... thought about marrying the most amazing man in the world... and something just clicked. It turned out to be the dress that I didn't even like originally.

I didn't have a moment over the dress - I had a moment over the fact that I was getting married, and this was just part of it.

julieanne912 · March 2015

If it helps on your next appointment, do what my consultant did with me because I was so open to ideas... basically you bring in the dresses you want to try on. Then, after you try on two, you either say no to both of them, or no to one of them. You cannot say yes to both of them. Then, try on another one. Then say no to one of the two you have (the previous yes and the new one)... so on and so forth. That's how I ended up with mine, it kept "winning" in each match up.

klk111415 · March 2015

I agree, the whole getting emotional thing for me wasn't over the dress. It really was just putting everything into perspective and realizing "Shit, I'm getting married... it's really happening" But I didn't cry because I found the dress. I wasn't looking to buy a dress but I knew I was working with a small budget, so I tried the first dress on and started to cry... but as I said, it was because everything started to feel real. After the first tears, I continued to try on dresses but didn't cry.

hyechica81 · March 2015

do you have any styles or fabrics you love start there tell the consultant what you liked about other gowns you tried on what you didn't like and start from there grab as much dresses as you can or want to try on after each try on tell the consultant what you like and dislike about each gown maybe you love the bing but not all over bling, maybe its the lace details on the bottom of the dress but not all over lace etc then they can help you find your dress.

i went to three places one place was bridal consignment almost all sample gowns every gown i tried on in my size did not fit right or hardly fit at all. i left, second place i had it narrowed down to two dresses

thrid place they kept putting me in dresses telling me everything looked good on me even the one that looked like i was wearing a broom and sack i finally told the lady i wanted radiant taffeta, alcone lace pick ups and one shoulder strap i was describing the dress from the other salon .

the only dress this place had in pick ups was heavy satin with this ugly jeweled thing gown down the center of the dress

i knew after the third salon i needed to go back and get the other dress

Liatris2010 · March 2015

I tried on close to 100 dresses. Seriously, I was a nightmare. I feel your pain.

I ended up getting a less expensive dress and doing some serious alterations to make it perfect. Worth every penny.

Knottie1445136220 · March 2015

I tried on about 90. What are you looking for, I could probably help you find it!! Lol. I found a dress when I stopped going into all these fancy hboutiques and tried a store that was a little more laid back. It's still not 100% what I envisioned but after trying on 90 I was kind of like "eff it, this is fine." haha!!

Sorry if you already said this above (I didn't read, I'm naughty), but let me know kind of what you're looking (style, budget, any problem areas) for and I can maybe direct you to a few dresses. I feellike I shouldn't waste all my efforts in research and trying on!! Lol

christinemireille · March 2015

I tried on a bunch of dresses, and never had an emotional response to any of them. One dress, one I actually almost bought, only elicited an "I look like a bride." I'm super picky--I hated something about every dress and basically felt like I was bound to wear whatever dress I could stand the most. I ended up going to another shop and re-trying on a dress. Everyone kept asking me, "Do you love it??? Do you love the dress?" All I could say was--"I don't think I'm ever going to love any dress!" My usually disenfranchised sister then said, "You're not that kind of girl. The dress isn't important to you. You don't need to love a dress because you already love the man!" That was that for me--I found a dress I found most "me" in, and bought it. You may not need to love a dress. You're already in love with the most important aspect of your wedding!

A&A2015 · March 2015

I have to say this post is exactly what I have been looking for, I have been to two stores and hated trying on dresses. People keep telling me I am not normal because I haven't had that "this is it" moment. I am really uncomfortable with trying on clothes in general so dress shopping has lead to literal nightmares for me, Thank you for asking this question and for all the answers that we are not wrong for feeling this way!

[Deleted User] · March 2015

holy crapola. first of all, thank you all for the support and helping me feel like a normal human being and not some unsatisfied bride monster.

second of all....i put a deposit on that bitch today! woo hoo! totally not what i thought i wanted but i felt good, i was all smiles, my mom loved it and it's done!!!!

southernbelle0915 · March 2015

@mrstaraboo - pics!!

[Deleted User] · March 2015

I think I attached the pic right if not it's sophia tolli - leigh

southernbelle0915 · March 2015

can't see any attachments, but I googled it. GORGEOUS dress! You'll look amazing!

[Deleted User] · March 2015

here we go! the dress has straps that are beautiful, but i'm going to remove them!!

novella1186 · March 2015

mrstaraboo said:
here we go! the dress has straps that are beautiful, but i'm going to remove them!!

Gorgeous! Congrats!!!

[Deleted User] · March 2015

thank you!!!

definitely worth being picky and holding out for something that i feel really great about!

atlastmrsg · March 2015

Sounds like you need to adjust your attitude. Are you even enjoying dress shopping? Are you being critical just to be critical? Are you bringing people along whose opinions are ruining the experience? You need to figure out why it's "garbage"--if it's you or someone you're with.

Go by yourself and figure out what YOU want. Try different styles until you find one that is flattering and you like. Then start narrowing based on that style/silhouette.

[Deleted User] · March 2015

no adjustment needed, read above text.

Knottie72792636 · March 2015

I completely understand what you are going though... I have started to look for the dress but I don't feel confortable in any of them because I know I need to loose weight

. I have started my diet so hopefully within 2 months I can start looking again. For now I just have an idea of what I want based on what I have seen online but I feel I am going to be really stressed out if I don't find something that I like and that looks good on me.

Wearing sweats to my wedding

Re: Wearing sweats to my wedding

Choose Another Board

Search Boards