Thank you note for a gift multiple people?

blabla89 · March 2015

My great aunt sent a handwritten note to let me know she can't make it to our wedding, and enclosed a check. I was in the middle of writing out a thank you card when I noticed that at the bottom, she had also signed the names of her three adult children. I think she may have done this to let me know that none of her family would be attending the wedding (although I hadn't invited the children...which I think may be the reason she declined).

Now I'm wondering if I should be sending a note to the three children as well. On the one hand, if they did all pitch in for the gift then I would want to thank each of them. But if they didn't, and especially if they didn't even know about it, I'm afraid it would come across as super weird and awkward to get a thank you note from a cousin they barely know, thanking them for a wedding gift they didn't give. So, what to do here? Will a thank you note to my aunt suffice?

Casadena · March 2015

I would just write a thank you to the Aunt. I dont' know if that's etiquette approved necessarily, but if you didn't even invite her your cousins, it makes me think that they don't know about the check.

lovegood90 · March 2015

The rule I use is a thank you card goes to everyone whose name is on the card. If they all live at the same address, I'd just send one note addressed to all of them though.

I think it's better for them to find it "strange" (if they do) that you thanked them if they didn't contribute than to have them think you're rude that you didn't thank them if they did contribute, you know? I always err on the safer side.

indianaalum · March 2015

I agree. I would send it to all of them

SP29 · March 2015

Send a TY note to each adult (or if they live in the same household, one to the household with all names included).

redoryx · March 2015

lovegood90 said:
The rule I use is a thank you card goes to everyone whose name is on the card. If they all live at the same address, I'd just send one note addressed to all of them though.
I think it's better for them to find it "strange" (if they do) that you thanked them if they didn't contribute than to have them think you're rude that you didn't thank them if they did contribute, you know? I always err on the safer side.

I agree with this. I'd also add that I'd see if there's a way to say something like "Thank you for the gift that you, your siblings and mom gave me" so that they can trace it back to your aunt. That might help avoid them finding it strange.

yogablossom · March 2015

I wrote out thank you notes for every single person who was involved in giving me a gift--especially if they were not all living together.

Thank you note for a gift multiple people?

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