Moms and Maids

Can't afford hair and makeup for bridemaids/moms

FI and I are working on a pretty tight budget. We don't have much money left for pre-wedding stuff. I'm skipping out on spa days or any of that business but I was able to hire a hair and makeup person for the big day. The problem is there is no way I'm going to be able to budget in the rest of the wedding party or the two moms. I was thinking of taking them all out to get their nails done day of instead but would it still be unfair for me to be getting my makeup and hair done while my favorite ladies go without? Should I ask them if they'd want to pay for their hair and makeup? Just to be clear, I haven't asked anyone to get their hair done, it's not a wedding requirement. If they would rather do their own hair and makeup that's fine too.
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Re: Can't afford hair and makeup for bridemaids/moms

  • dolewhipperdolewhipper [wh]orlando member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    That is not unfair. I am getting my hair and makeup done, and I told my girls if they would like to as well, to let me know so I can hire her assistant. They are fully capable of doing their own hair and makeup if they so wish, but if they want that option, they can pay for it. 

    Only if you're telling your WP: you must get ______ hairstyle and have you makeup done would you have to pay for it. As far as nails, I'm just asking for no bold colors (can be muted , neutrals, or naked). KISS.


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  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm agreeing with Maggie. Any wedding I've been in, this is how it goes. And for my own wedding, I plan on doing the same. I think I would like to tip the hair stylist and makeup artist, but I know I won't be able to afford to straight up pay for everyone's hair and makeup. You're not being unreasonable at all if you do this.
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  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Paying for their hair and makeup is nice, but not required UNLESS you are demanding they have their hair and makeup a certain way.  However, it doesn't sound like you are demanding anything specific, so you are good to go.

    You can always tell your girls that your stylist is charging $X for hair and makeup and to let you know if they would like to arrange an appointment.  


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    weddingcactus
  • blabla89blabla89 Atlanta member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    As long as you aren't requiring them to get their hair done, you're under no obligation to pay for it. It's totally fair and okay for you to be the only one getting your hair done, because you're the bride. However, I suggest double checking with your stylist to see if they require a minimum fee or number of people (which many on-site stylists do) - that could be a problem if you're the only one getting it done and you're on a budget.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Just make the hair and makeup optional.  If they want to use your person, then they come up with the fee; otherwise, they either do their own hair and makeup or pay someone of their choice to do it. 
  • I think they will appreciate the option of having their hair and makeup done if they want. Just let them know in advance that its not a requirement, and how much it will cost for hair and makeup if they choose to have it done. That way, they can be prepared with a check or cash the day of. 

    We are paying for my BP's hair, but not for the makeup. My makeup is being done, but we are going to give the girls the option to pay for their own makeup if they want.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I think they will appreciate the option of having their hair and makeup done if they want. Just let them know in advance that its not a requirement, and how much it will cost for hair and makeup if they choose to have it done. That way, they can be prepared with a check or cash the day of. 

    We are paying for my BP's hair, but not for the makeup. My makeup is being done, but we are going to give the girls the option to pay for their own makeup if they want.
    The key concept here being that "it's not a requirement."  If it is, you need to pay for it-not them.
    southernbelle0915
  • I think they will appreciate the option of having their hair and makeup done if they want. Just let them know in advance that its not a requirement, and how much it will cost for hair and makeup if they choose to have it done. That way, they can be prepared with a check or cash the day of. 

    We are paying for my BP's hair, but not for the makeup. My makeup is being done, but we are going to give the girls the option to pay for their own makeup if they want.
    As long as that means they are allowed to do their own make up, that's fine. But if you are requiring professional make up you should be footing the bill.
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  • That is what my bridesmaids asked me. I told them I will decide eventually.

     
  • edited December 2014
    Agree with PP, if you require a style/makeup, you pay, if not it's totally optional.  Just make sure to allow enough time and staff.in the timeline to get everyone who does with do pay done so you're not rushing.

    Our ceremony was at 5pm, but we had 4 BM, MOB, and myself getting full hair/makeup (we paid, even though everyone got to pick their own styles/colors,etc) and had a blast, but we had to start at 10am to get everyone done, plus pre-ceremony pictures done.  It was one of my favorite parts of the day because we were all together with some munchies, music, and having girl time.  It really relaxed me.
    simcal18
  • I've been in 4 weddings, two of which happened within the last 2 years.  No bride ever paid for my hair and makeup.  And in the last two, we were all "required" to have our hair and makeup done... 

    When I was MOH the bride was trying to push us to get airbrush and I kept pushing back saying there was no way I was going to pay over $150.  I didn't make anywhere near her salary, and I think it was a matter of if she got X amount of BMs to do it she got a discount or hers for free.  

    The last wedding I was in we all had to have the same hair and makeup, and she didn't tell us until  like 2 weeks before.  I knew I would have to pay to get some hair and makeup done but I didn't know I was going to be obligated to go with that one.  Mind you I bought my own lashes and the lady still charged me an additional $25 to put them on... so I was "forced" into paying $100 for hair and makeup.  

    That being said, I was kind of annoyed at the last one even though we came out looking stunning.  If you can't afford to cover your BMs, that isn't a surprise.  BUT... on the flip side give them options.  Don't make it so that they HAVE to have one person do it but it will cost what it costs and that's it. 

    I won't be paying for my girls' hair and makeup either... but I also won't be demanding they have to use a particular stylist and then tell them it's $100 and that's it. 
  • I've been in 4 weddings, two of which happened within the last 2 years.  No bride ever paid for my hair and makeup.  And in the last two, we were all "required" to have our hair and makeup done... 


    When I was MOH the bride was trying to push us to get airbrush and I kept pushing back saying there was no way I was going to pay over $150.  I didn't make anywhere near her salary, and I think it was a matter of if she got X amount of BMs to do it she got a discount or hers for free.  

    The last wedding I was in we all had to have the same hair and makeup, and she didn't tell us until  like 2 weeks before.  I knew I would have to pay to get some hair and makeup done but I didn't know I was going to be obligated to go with that one.  Mind you I bought my own lashes and the lady still charged me an additional $25 to put them on... so I was "forced" into paying $100 for hair and makeup.  

    That being said, I was kind of annoyed at the last one even though we came out looking stunning.  If you can't afford to cover your BMs, that isn't a surprise.  BUT... on the flip side give them options.  Don't make it so that they HAVE to have one person do it but it will cost what it costs and that's it. 

    I won't be paying for my girls' hair and makeup either... but I also won't be demanding they have to use a particular stylist and then tell them it's $100 and that's it. 
    I can't tell if you're saying it's still ok to require it - but just not by one particular stylist.

    Just so OP and lurkers are clear, if a bride wants BMs to get their hair/make-up done, she can say she'd like them to get it done, but she has to pay for it. And further, if a BM says she doesn't want to get her hair or make-up done (regardless of who's paying), she doesn't have to. 

    I get that there are brides who "require" this and, further, there are 'zillas who "require" it AND make BMs pay for it. I know people who burp in others' faces, don't say thank you, drive like jerks, and treat people like crap in general. Just because people do things does not mean it's ok. Use common sense.
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    [Deleted User]bizzy592huskypuppy14
  • I'm not doing this for my wedding, but... I don't see how requiring the BM to get hair and make up done and pay for it themselves is any different than requiring them to wear a specific dress to be in your wedding and pay for it....

    To answer OP's question, I think it's nice of you to take them to get heir nails done. It would be fine to ask if they'd like to book an appointment to get their hair done, just let them know the cost and that it's not a requirement. It's not unfair for you to be getting yours done. You are the bride afterall!
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I'm not doing this for my wedding, but... I don't see how requiring the BM to get hair and make up done and pay for it themselves is any different than requiring them to wear a specific dress to be in your wedding and pay for it....

    To answer OP's question, I think it's nice of you to take them to get heir nails done. It would be fine to ask if they'd like to book an appointment to get their hair done, just let them know the cost and that it's not a requirement. It's not unfair for you to be getting yours done. You are the bride afterall!

    #1 because no one is going to remember what the BMs' hair, nails or makeup are going to look like after the wedding. Seriously. One of my BMs usually has hot pink streaks in her hair. I know she mentioned something about wanting to dye her hair back to brown before my wedding, but I couldn't remember if she did or not until I looked at my wedding pictures. And I couldn't begin to tell you what either of my girls did for makeup and we were all using the bathroom mirror at the same time. I was literally looking at them while they were applying their makeup. Still have no clue what they had on.

    #2 because your loved ones are not ATMs that you should be pumping for money at every opportunity. BMs only responsibilities are to show up on time, mostly sober, in the agreed upon attire (that is within the budget you should have asked them about before choosing the outfit).
    ~*~*~*~*~

    OliveOilsMom[Deleted User]
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I'm not doing this for my wedding, but... I don't see how requiring the BM to get hair and make up done and pay for it themselves is any different than requiring them to wear a specific dress to be in your wedding and pay for it....

    To answer OP's question, I think it's nice of you to take them to get heir nails done. It would be fine to ask if they'd like to book an appointment to get their hair done, just let them know the cost and that it's not a requirement. It's not unfair for you to be getting yours done. You are the bride afterall!

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    Dreamergirl8812southernbelle0915
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