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Program wording

marzipan11marzipan11 member
First Comment
edited March 2015 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi,

I'm getting married soon & finalizing the wording on my ceremony programs.  Both my father and step-father are deceased; is it appropriate to include both of them in the "parents of the bride" section? If so, how should this be worded?  We're also planning to recognize other deceased relatives at the end of the program. Any help is greatly appreciated!  Thanks!
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Re: Program wording

  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    I wouldn't include them there because unknowing guests might ask around for John Smith to congratulate him on his daughter's marriage. That could be really painful for people. KWIM?

    What you could do is include some wording about thanking guests for sharing in this special time and that you're remembering so-and-so, who couldn't be with you.
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    FIL was deceased prior to H & I even meeting.  FIL was not included in the "Parent of the Groom" section.  He was mentioned in the deceased relatives section.
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  • momofbride530momofbride530 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    Since this is a program and not an invitation I think you're okay etiquette-wise listing them in the parent section. This is what we did for our wedding. Both of H's parents were deceased but he still had his stepmom. So the wording was something like:
    Parents of the groom
    The late John Doe and the late Jane Doe
    Jane Smith

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  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We had a special section at the end that said something like, "those who are not here with us in person but are with us in our hearts" or something like that. Then we listed the people and their relation.
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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Under parents of the bride mine said:
    Mom and Stepdad lastname
    The late firstname lastname
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    aurianna said:

    We had a special section at the end that said something like, "those who are not here with us in person but are with us in our hearts" or something like that. Then we listed the people and their relation.

    Isn't the point of the program to outline the ceremony's sections and participants? On that logic, deceased people cannot participate. Therefore, I'm more in favor of the quoted here; many people have a section of special thanks or recognition or remembrance. "During this time we remember those who are with us in our hearts: name 1, relationship, name 2, relationship."
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  • marzipan11marzipan11 member
    First Comment
    Thanks for your responses everyone!  Based on what I read on different etiquette boards, deceased parents on okay to list under the "parents" sections on programs, just typically not on the invitation.  Since I still wasn't able to find a way of including both my father & stepfather under that section without it getting too wordy or confusing, we decided to include both of them in the remembrance part of the program. 
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