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Chit Chat
charcoalandblush
member
So humiliated :(
in Chit Chat
I was getting ready this morning and decided to wear one of my spring skirts that I haven't worn since last year. It's my normal size and was a little snug, but not uncomfortable. DF and I were getting in the car to head to work and I started to sit down, I hear a riiiiippp.... my skirt split right down the middle across my ass. DF didn't hear it rip, but I started crying and said I had to go back upstairs and change, and he asked why so I showed him what happened. It was just so humiliating and embarrassing.
I've been feeling like shit about myself lately because I've been such a failure at losing weight. I'll do ok during the week, but then over the weekend we have a wedding or a party or a trip or it's someone's birthday and I just completely blow it. I don't know for sure, but I must have gained weight recently for my regular size to be so tight that it rips.
Also my first dress fitting is a week from today. I am terrified. If I gained more than a pound or two, there's no way my dress is going to fit. Which will be even more humiliating, because FMIL is insisting on coming with me to the fitting.
I just feel like shit all around. I feel like shit because I'm fat. I feel like a failure for saying I'm going to lose weight and not doing it. I feel like I've wasted so much time and money putting $1500 into a personal trainer the past 4 months and possibly GAINING weight. I'm super nervous that my dress isn't going to fit. Ughhhhhhhh.
Sorry, I just needed to vent 
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Re: So humiliated :(
Gaining weight, particularly when you have a lot going on is hard. I've been there. Hell, I gained around 10 pounds between buying my dress and my first fitting. Guess what? It fit! A great tailor can do amazing things to dresses - and Spanx-like products, corsets, etc. are your friends. Your dress will fit and you'll look amazing.
Your FMIL can fuck herself if she has anything to say about it. She's a lucky woman to have a son lucky enough to marry you.
In the meantime, you can make some changes. Drink a ton of water. Cut down on salt. Drop any of the crap in your diet. Buy yourself a replacement skirt that fits and makes you feel gorgeous.
A few pounds are not worth hating yourself for. You're healthy, loved, and otherwise happy. That matters for a hell of a lot more.
Take a deep breath and don't be so hard on yourself. You are not a failure.
Most dresses have seam allowance to be let out several inches, and there's nothing wrong with doing so. Plenty of us brides have had our dresses let out. Instead of worrying about cramming yourself into a particular size, focus on eating well and exercising for the purpose of feeling good, and forgive yourself when you slip.
I have been in that same situation. I had a beautiful black and white hounds tooth dress that I got my junior year of high school. Somehow, it still fit 7 years later. Until this Christmas. We were running late for church and I barely got it to go over my hips and butt. Run out to the car and it kept riding up and then ripped when I buckled up. I immediately burst into tears.
Your FI loves you the way you are. You are beautiful the way you are. I gained at least 15 pounds in between buying my dress and the wedding. Honestly, it fitting a little tighter in places made it look better (even after having to have the seamstress let a lot out in my hips). A seamstress can do amazing things and even those you didn't think we're possible.
I've been struggling with my weight a lot in the past 4 months. I'm the same size I was at our wedding and that's a little bigger than I'd like to be. I can exercise and eat right and not feel like I've lost weight. But I do notice I feel better and that's what matters mostly.
I do want to lose a little weight and fit in my clothes better. But mostly I'm working on my self confidence. I'm trying to remind myself that the numbers on the scale or in my clothes are just that, numbers. Those numbers to do not reflect the value of my worth.
I'm sorry you felt embarrassed but try not to stress about it too much because no matter what, you are beautiful already.
I also am somewhat overweight and some of my clothes have become tight on me. I tell myself, "The fact that I have trouble getting this on and off and wearing it is not a reflection on my worth, and to F anyone who thinks it is."
That said, I can understand you wanting to look your best in your dress. But remind yourself that your FI loves you and wants to marry you regardless of how much you weigh (and if that's not true, he's not worthy of you), and his mother definitely doesn't get to voice any opinion about your weight. If she tries to, tell yourself that it only reflects on her, not on you, because you're a wonderful person.