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Coworker invitation advice

kikivarikikivari member
First Comment
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
I work in a unique setting: 12-hour rotating shifts in a 911 center with 20 men. I have 5 coworkers on my list- my supervisor and 4 friends. On my shift there are 2 other guys who aren't part of that group. I obviously want to invite my friends, but kind of feel bad not including the other 2 guys on my shift. Would it be rude to invite almost my whole shift except those 2? Or is that ok to leave them out?
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Re: Coworker invitation advice

  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    It's fine to leave them out. Sometimes it's more "political" to invite in circles but you don't have to. For example, we invited some of our second cousins, but not all. There were a few we NEVER talk to and it didn't make sense to invite them.
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  • kikivarikikivari member
    First Comment
    Thank you! I just needed some reassurance. Funny you mention cousins; I have several first cousins I'm not inviting and I don't feel the least bit guilty about that! lol
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Just make sure that you send the invites to their homes and don't hand them out at work.  Most people are good about not going into work and bragging that they got an invite, but handing them out at work just asks for people to gossip/create drama.

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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It's totally fine. In addition to mailing them to their homes, I might casually mention to each of your friends that you aren't inviting everyone from work, so they'll be less likely to bring it up around the others.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You can leave those two coworkers off your guest list. I agree with the PP that you should minimize wedding talk around your workplace if you're not inviting everyone.
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Since I have family in the 911 Dispatch setting, it's a little different than your average work setting/culture/dynamic...  This is the "Toss out Emily Post's books" type situation.  Yes, it's political, and yes, invite them as you get declines above your "absolute" individuals being honest with the rest about the situation.  I can give you some doozies for horror stories involving weddings and Dispatch/shift staff from what the family has experienced!!!  To answer the "is it rude" - Yes, it is, in that setting/dynamic depending on your level of seniority.  Let it be known things are tight for guest lists and you're doing your best to get everyone an individual invite (not +1's)..  Remember, these are the people filling in/working extra shifts while you're having a honeymoon and other times.  Not all of them will be able to attend obviously, but it's the ceremonious invite that counts especially if the schedule isn't out yet for your wedding date.  In a normal work dynamic situation, NBD, don't invite those you aren't close, Law Enforcement/Fire/EMS/Dispatch - TOTALLY different animal!!!!!


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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MesmrEwe said:

    Since I have family in the 911 Dispatch setting, it's a little different than your average work setting/culture/dynamic...  This is the "Toss out Emily Post's books" type situation.  Yes, it's political, and yes, invite them as you get declines above your "absolute" individuals being honest with the rest about the situation.  I can give you some doozies for horror stories involving weddings and Dispatch/shift staff from what the family has experienced!!!  To answer the "is it rude" - Yes, it is, in that setting/dynamic depending on your level of seniority.  Let it be known things are tight for guest lists and you're doing your best to get everyone an individual invite (not +1's)..  Remember, these are the people filling in/working extra shifts while you're having a honeymoon and other times.  Not all of them will be able to attend obviously, but it's the ceremonious invite that counts especially if the schedule isn't out yet for your wedding date.  In a normal work dynamic situation, NBD, don't invite those you aren't close, Law Enforcement/Fire/EMS/Dispatch - TOTALLY different animal!!!!!


    Am I reading this correctly? Are you seriously telling her to B list her co-workers, to tell them that she's B listing them, and then to invite them without their s/o's? 

    You've got to be kidding. 
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  • Scottie17Scottie17 member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its

    kikivari You seem to have this situation well in hand, but here's just a quick idea. Plan an simple outing (i.e., cocktails) at a local place with you and your betrothed. Invite everyone from work to "share the celebration" of your upcoming wedding to come and join you for a drink and meet your other. Casual, not a catered thing, just a corner of a local pub. Everyone buys their own, you can have some white balloons nearby for fun.

    Something like this would give everyone at work a chance to be part of the 'celebration', to 'participate'. With every co-worker on a level playing field, you wouldn't have to feel that you would have to keep your wedding pre- and post plans a secret!

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    Scottie17 said:

    kikivari You seem to have this situation well in hand, but here's just a quick idea. Plan an simple outing (i.e., cocktails) at a local place with you and your betrothed. Invite everyone from work to "share the celebration" of your upcoming wedding to come and join you for a drink and meet your other. Casual, not a catered thing, just a corner of a local pub. Everyone buys their own, you can have some white balloons nearby for fun.

    Something like this would give everyone at work a chance to be part of the 'celebration', to 'participate'. With every co-worker on a level playing field, you wouldn't have to feel that you would have to keep your wedding pre- and post plans a secret!

    Are you suggesting that she plan her own party and not host it? Nope nope nope. Super rude. 

    It's one thing to say, "hey, y'all want to hit happy hour?" and her fiance may/may not be there. It's quite another to basically say, "my fiance and I would like to invite you to host yourselves and celebrate our upcoming marriage since you aren't invited to our wedding." 
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  • bellefemme12bellefemme12 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer
    I work in a similar sort of work culture as the poster who described the law enforcement/911/dispatch setting.  Out of my 7 coworkers in my year, there is one that I cannot stand at all and had a hard time deciding on not inviting b/c I thought it would just look bad.  But after having a falling out, I can't in good conscience invite this person.  

    Thankfully, I procrastinated on sending them the STDs…matter of fact, I didn't send any STDs to them (and ran out of my extras b/c ended up inviting more family freinds) and just told the coworkers I liked the date in advance.  I'm just going to send an invite to the ones I want there and not invite the one person I dislike.  It's your wedding and b/c of work culture, you shouldn't feel pressured to invite all these people.  
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