Wedding Party

Groomsmen but no bridesmaids

. My fiancé and I are getting married at the end of May. We're trying not to make a big deal about it and have thus only started telling people within the last week or so. We're just doing a very simple ceremony in the park followed by feeding everyone.

Recently several people, who have some experience planning parties have been trying to help us plan things. I really appreciate their help, but don't feel comfortable with some of heir ideas. I've lurked on these boards for a long time and taken a lot of great advice from you guys. (Thank you!) So I knew to go against their advice to only provide chairs for older guests and ask friends to cook for our reception. We're on a $2k budget but thats no reason not to provide comfortable seats and good full meals for everyone. To be honest, I doubt I would have taken their advice anyway as it just rubbed me the wrong way.

Anyway, the reason that this is relevant is that I'm not sure how to take this other piece of advice they are offering me. My fiancé has decided to have his two oldest friends stand up with him as "best men." There isn't anyone I can really think of that I would want as a bridesmaid. It's not that I don't have friends, but I'm not especially close with anyone. I'm told now that not having bridesmaids while he has best men is conspicuous and will offend my female friends/cousins. I know it isn't required to have even sides, but is it rude to have no bridesmaids at all when there are groomsmen?

PS- sorry for how long this turned out!

Re: Groomsmen but no bridesmaids

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    sbk3822 said:

    . My fiancé and I are getting married at the end of May. We're trying not to make a big deal about it and have thus only started telling people within the last week or so. We're just doing a very simple ceremony in the park followed by feeding everyone.

    Recently several people, who have some experience planning parties have been trying to help us plan things. I really appreciate their help, but don't feel comfortable with some of heir ideas. I've lurked on these boards for a long time and taken a lot of great advice from you guys. (Thank you!) So I knew to go against their advice to only provide chairs for older guests and ask friends to cook for our reception. We're on a $2k budget but thats no reason not to provide comfortable seats and good full meals for everyone. To be honest, I doubt I would have taken their advice anyway as it just rubbed me the wrong way.

    Anyway, the reason that this is relevant is that I'm not sure how to take this other piece of advice they are offering me. My fiancé has decided to have his two oldest friends stand up with him as "best men." There isn't anyone I can really think of that I would want as a bridesmaid. It's not that I don't have friends, but I'm not especially close with anyone. I'm told now that not having bridesmaids while he has best men is conspicuous and will offend my female friends/cousins. I know it isn't required to have even sides, but is it rude to have no bridesmaids at all when there are groomsmen?

    PS- sorry for how long this turned out!

    If your friends or cousins are offended then that is their problem, not yours.

    Could it possibly look a bit odd if your FI has two guys standing up with him and you don't?  Sure.  But in the end does it really matter?  Nope.  As long as you are comfortable with your decision then that is all that really matters.  You shouldn't ask people to be in your wedding just to fill in spots, you should ask people because you really want to honor them.  And since you have said that you can't think of anyone you want to ask, you already have your answer.  You don't ask anyone.  This is a personal choice and you don't want to look back on your pictures years from now and regretting your decision to include people that you really didn't want to include.

    As we always say on here, uneven wedding parties are completely fine.

    Blue_Bird
  • Thank you for your responses. I knew uneven sides were ok, but never saw anyone mention having nobody on one side, so I wasn't sure if this was some kind of no-no I'd just never heard of. I worry about hurting people's feelings. But I suppose people's feelings get hurt regardless, even if you choose some people and others get excluded.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Does your wedding license require that two witnesses sign it?  If so, the only thing you may want to consider is to figure out now who you want to sign your license.  Typically this is the MOH, as long as the MOH is an adult, but really it could be any adult in attendance.  In fact, you could just have both the best men sign it if you don't want to pick anyone.

    [Deleted User]
  • The only signatures required are those of the officiant and town registrar, so I suppose we don't have to worry about that. I actually didn't even realize this until you asked and I checked. Good to know.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    sbk3822 said:

    The only signatures required are those of the officiant and town registrar, so I suppose we don't have to worry about that. I actually didn't even realize this until you asked and I checked. Good to know.

    Well that is good!  So just forget my previous post LOL!

  • sbk3822 said:

    The only signatures required are those of the officiant and town registrar, so I suppose we don't have to worry about that. I actually didn't even realize this until you asked and I checked. Good to know.

    Well that is good!  So just forget my previous post LOL!
    Well I'm glad you asked because I did have in the back of my mind that we might have to have people do that. Now that's one less thing to worry about. :-)
  • My husband and I ended up with just one groomsman and no one on my side.  It was perfect.  It didn't look weird at all. 
  • My FI is a loner by nature, so he's not having any groomsmen and I'm having two bridesmaids. We aren't worried that it will look weird. :-)
    [Deleted User]
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If you are worried about it looking weird, what do you think about having one of the guys stand on "your" side.  Just refer to the guys as the Wedding Party.  I wouldn't worry about your friends/cousins.  Just do what is best for you and FI.
  • Glad to hear that it didn't look weird and that it isn't something completely unheard of. Maybe it won't be that conspicuous after all.
  • If you are worried about it looking weird, what do you think about having one of the guys stand on "your" side.  Just refer to the guys as the Wedding Party.  I wouldn't worry about your friends/cousins.  Just do what is best for you and FI.

    I'm not so much worried about it looking "weird" as I don't care if the sides are even. I was more worried about it being super evident that I didn't have anyone and hurting peoples feelings. I think having one on my side would work if they were our friends, but they're his two buddies he's been close with since middle school and are really only close with him. It was a good thought tho. Thank you.
  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha The Midwestern tundra member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Do your thing girl. :)
    image
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