Proposal help

cnick95 · April 2015

Okay so here is the deal. I just started making payments on the ring for my wonderful soon to be fiance (hopefully) I plan to have it all paid off by the fourth of july which is her birthday. I was just in Washington state where she grew up as we live together in arizona. While i was there, I asked her dad for permission to marry his daughter and he told me yes! SO now I have to come up with the perfect proposal so I am here for ideas. Every year on the fourth of july we take a trip to washington where her family has a house right on the river. We spend the weekend playing games on the grass and lighting fireworks off of the docks on the river as well as all of the other neighbors around. So this is the setting I am thinking of, now I need help from a creative mind to make this perfect. Please someone help me!

cnick95 · April 2015

I sure hope she doesnt find this website

I would die!

Dignity100 · April 2015

You don't need to be creative at all. While everybody is shooting off fireworks, ask to steal her away for a moment and ask her to marry you. Or the next morning, why not make her breakfast in bed and ask her then? You'd have the whole day to celebrate - you could then plan for a special celebration dinner or something.

I know most of my favorite proposal stories are more of the 'it was just a random Tuesday night and I was in my pajamas and my now-fiancee came in and asked me to marry him'. I really think in a proposal situation - simplicity goes a long way.

jenjen047 · April 2015

First off congrats! Second, has your GF given you any indications of anything she would/wouldn't like? Does she generally like being the center of attention or prefer the spotlight off of her? If you want tons of proposal stories (and maybe some ideas) check out howheasked.com.

cu97tiger · April 2015

While you're playing games on the grass, have something distract her (an errant toss of a bean bag/horseshoe?) when she turns around, be on one knee. Make sure someone has a camera ready to take a picture.

bride2b71614 · April 2015

First off, congratulations! Its really sweet that you are trying to plan the perfect proposal, and I also think you are psyching yourself out over this. I think that the whole notion of a "perfect" proposal really depends on the couple. @jenjen047 asked if your GF likes to be the center of attention or if she's more laid back. Is she more go big or go home, or sentimental? These questions will help you choose which way to go.

The issue I have with public proposals is that it kind of forces the other person to say yes (i.e. Jumbotron proposals). That being said, if your GF is a person who enjoys grand gestures thats awesome! You already have the fireworks in your favor, so maybe incorporate the fireworks into your proposal.

Because I prefer sentimental, and not being the center of attention, I agree with @Dignity100 simplicity goes a long way! I love the idea that @cu97tiger proposed. Its subtle, simple and doesn't require too much planning on your part. Plus, you are playing games, and thats fun, not adding more pressure onto you.

Just keep in mind, how ever you choose to do it, the only requirement for a proposal is the simple question of will you marry me? Anything additional is nice, but not required. I know this wasn't of much help, but I hope it puts you at ease to see that the definition of a perfect proposal is not a one size fits all model, but unique to each couple.

lilacck28 · April 2015

Agree with above! Tailor the proposal to your girlfriend-- elaborate if she likes BIG and SHOWY, sentimental and/ or simple if she does not. Personally, I like the more simple proposals. Just remember to say some sweet words to your lady about how wonderful she is and makes you feel, and that you love her, and I'm sure it will be amazing!

Another thing to consider.... and this is entirely my personal preference that may not apply to your girlfriend... but I did not want to get proposed to or get married on my birthday, my FI's birthday, on a wedding event day of anyone else we were celebrating with, or a holiday. I know some women who feel the same way, and others who like the idea of getting a special Valentine's day or birthday surprise, etc. You would know better than anyone if she has feelings about this, but just take a second to think about her preferences.

untouchablets · April 2015

I agree with everyone else, you know your GF so do something tailored to her. If she has expressed specific preferences, follow them! For example, I have told my BF I don't want him to do it in front of other people, so I hope he does something privately for me. I have also told him I don't want to be proposed to on any holiday or birthday or special occasion. I want it to be its own day. Your weekend plan sounds amazing and romantic and she is very lucky to have someone who puts so much thought into this. Congratulations!!

phira · April 2015

Try to get an idea of what your girlfriend would like. If she has friends who can keep secrets, feel free to ask them to get info for you. Or maybe she's already dropped hints, or outright stated preferences.

You know your girlfriend better than we do. But like @lilacck28 said, a lot of people like to avoid having things like proposals on their birthdays or major holidays. And I agree with @bride2b71614: public proposals are not for everyone, and so unless your girlfriend has been hinting (or saying) that she wants a public proposal, it might be better to do it in private. That doesn't mean you can't do it the same day or weekend, but you could go for something like @dignity100 suggested.

What's really important to keep in mind is that the proposal does not need to be perfect or flawless or anything. You are asking your girlfriend if she'll marry you; I don't think she'll say no if your proposal isn't "perfect" (and if she does, then wow, hell no!). Proposing is about being romantic in whatever way the two of you are romantic, and making the decision to get married.

eilis1228 · April 2015

I agree with PPs-- tailor it to your GF's personality. Also, if you do it with a bunch of people around, be aware that your GF may take longer than normal to process what you're doing. :-P My FI did an elaborate public proposal, and it took me longer than it should have to realize what he was doing because I was SO AWARE of everyone watching me and recording me on their phones and taking pics. My brain was lagging a bit. I think it threw FI off a bit because I didn't immediately say yes and didn't immediately cry. It was so overwhelming. I loved his proposal, but I don't think I would have been as overwhelmed if he'd done it private. Just food for thought.

audrewuh · April 2015

@cnick95 - any update? thoughts?

I'll say that I wanted my proposal to be even more public than it was. H had a few friends come and video tape it and my dad and his quartet were there, but I was a tiny bit bummed that I had to wait four hours to celebrate with my friends. Don't worry, I did enjoy our walk around Target while we waited for everyone to get off work (he did it at 2pm on a Monday).

Proposal help

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