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ring bearer

augsum15augsum15 member
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in Wedding Party
This might be a dumb question, but I only ask because I've not personally heard of anyone doing this or seen it.

We have a flower girl, but between FI and I, neither of us really know any young boys (FI's idea was to have a toy batman flying in on a helicopter with our rings...).

Has anyone had a little girl as their ring bearer? I would imagine the answer to this is there's no law saying ring bearers must be girls! I'm just curious if anyone has? Thanks!
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Re: ring bearer

  • flantasticflantastic member
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    edited March 2015
    augsum15 said:

    This might be a dumb question, but I only ask because I've not personally heard of anyone doing this or seen it.


    We have a flower girl, but between FI and I, neither of us really know any young boys (FI's idea was to have a toy batman flying in on a helicopter with our rings...).

    Has anyone had a little girl as their ring bearer? I would imagine the answer to this is there's no law saying ring bearers must be girls! I'm just curious if anyone has? Thanks!



    You could have a girl as a ring bearer, sure, but that little girl might rather be a flower girl if the other girl gets to be, so I'd check with her first.

    You also don't need to have a ring bearer just for the sake of having one. They really don't do anything but look cute, so it's just an honor position for a child you're close to.

    ETA Most ring bearers don't even carry the actual rings - the BM has them and the kid has a decorative pillow.

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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
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    My sister had two of our little cousins be the ring bearer and flower girl. They wore the same dress (our aunt's choice) and walked down together. One had flowers tied to a pillow with fake rings, one had a basket. No one but me and her and our aunt probably remembers that her ring bearer was female.

    Ditto asking the young lady if she wants to be RB or FG first though. Our cousin didn't want to be the same as her big sister (and still doesn't 6 years later), so it worked out fine.

    image
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    If the girl is the right age, understands what you want from her, can do it, and wants to do it, why not?
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    You could absolutely have a girl as a ring bearer. But you also don't need to have a ring bearer. We skipped that and a flower girl. 
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  • augsum15augsum15 member
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    That pretty much confirmed my thoughts, thanks! And I know it's not necessary to have either, it's important to me to have a flower girl through family tradition etc. I know how most little girls dream of getting to be one, so I was really honored when I got to ask my little cousin before she didn't get a chance! And she was really excited, so that made me super happy. She's already practicing her petal throwing! But as for the ring bearer, we'll definitely have a think about that. If I'm having a kid hold onto rings they'd be the real ones and probably in a box, and be given last minute by a responsible adult, it seems silly to have them carry fake rings for decorations sake.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    I didn't dream of getting to be a flower girl when I was a kid. I attended my first wedding at age 11-strictly as a guest. Before that I wasn't invited to weddings. My parents were, but they got babysitters for me and my younger brother.
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  • augsum15augsum15 member
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    Jen4948 said:

    I didn't dream of getting to be a flower girl when I was a kid. I attended my first wedding at age 11-strictly as a guest. Before that I wasn't invited to weddings. My parents were, but they got babysitters for me and my younger brother.

    That's totally fine, it's not going to be something every girl or boy is going to want to do. But I did know my cousin wanted to be able to do it, so when I got engaged I was excited to get to ask her cuz I knew she was going to be really happy to do it. I was just saying most, cuz growing up most of my girl friends did want to do it, so it's exciting when you get the chance if it is something you'd dreamed of!
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    augsum15 said:

    Jen4948 said:

    I didn't dream of getting to be a flower girl when I was a kid. I attended my first wedding at age 11-strictly as a guest. Before that I wasn't invited to weddings. My parents were, but they got babysitters for me and my younger brother.

    That's totally fine, it's not going to be something every girl or boy is going to want to do. But I did know my cousin wanted to be able to do it, so when I got engaged I was excited to get to ask her cuz I knew she was going to be really happy to do it. I was just saying most, cuz growing up most of my girl friends did want to do it, so it's exciting when you get the chance if it is something you'd dreamed of!
    I understand. I'm not criticizing at all that your cousin wants to do it. It's just that your girl friends don't come anywhere near constituting "most girls."
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  • augsum15augsum15 member
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    Jen4948 said:

    augsum15 said:

    Jen4948 said:

    I didn't dream of getting to be a flower girl when I was a kid. I attended my first wedding at age 11-strictly as a guest. Before that I wasn't invited to weddings. My parents were, but they got babysitters for me and my younger brother.

    That's totally fine, it's not going to be something every girl or boy is going to want to do. But I did know my cousin wanted to be able to do it, so when I got engaged I was excited to get to ask her cuz I knew she was going to be really happy to do it. I was just saying most, cuz growing up most of my girl friends did want to do it, so it's exciting when you get the chance if it is something you'd dreamed of!
    I understand. I'm not criticizing at all that your cousin wants to do it. It's just that your girl friends don't come anywhere near constituting "most girls."
    I apologize if you don't like my choice of word, most girls also doesn't mean all girls. And as I said, it's totally fine if it's not something you want to do, there's no rules.
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