Sometimes, I feel judged because my periods are so painful, and I must be a giant baby. I have just been really depressed, lately, with our TTC efforts resulting in nothing, and every month, then I am blessed with a crippling period. Last night, at my family's house, I passed out. I knew something was wrong when people started talking and I had no idea what they were saying. The harder I was trying to listen, the further I would be confused as to what was said and who said it. I, then, started bleeding so heavily, that I fainted while doing the dishes. My H took me home, last night, and I have been in bed all day. I can't stand for more than a couple of minutes without getting dizzy spells.
It just devastates me that my symptoms with endometriosis are so much like a pregnancy. The nausea, the bloating, heightened sense of smell. I get so excited that I could be pregnant, because I time fertility just right, I have been using FAM, charting of cervical fluid, cervical positioning, and basal body temperature. I saw all of the signs that I was ovulating, and I am still not knocked the hell up, with a ton of sex.
H and I said we would foster, but we wanted to conceive a child, first. But when I start having excessive bleeding to the point of fainting, it scares me what is going on inside of me, and if it gets worse, what I can expect. This is just the course endometriosis takes until I go back on the pill, get pregnant, or have a hysterectomy. I am just having a really bad day, today, and questioning everything. If someone has red panda gifs or puppies, that would make me feel a little better.