Snarky Brides

Snark on my bridesmaid

This may all be trivial, but it just annoys me to no end and I figure no better place than the snarky forum to post because that's exactly how this woman is making me feel today.

One of my bridesmaids got engaged about two months after I did, and as such, she's been planning her wedding right along with me. For the most part, it's been fun being able to offer advice to each other but some of the things she's doing/saying are making me want to shake her by the shoulders, and she isn't the type of person who takes criticism well.....

When I chose my wedding date, I called all my bridesmaids to let them know so they could mark their calendars and she actually told me I couldn't get married on that day because it was "her wedding date". Later she told me it was "just a joke".

She chose the Saturday immediately after my wedding to get married, to which I replied "that's awesome but I won't be able to make it"- she told me this while we were shopping for her bridesmaid dress, and when I told her I couldn't attend because I will be gone on my own honeymoon, she promptly had a meltdown in the store.

She actually called me a week later while I was at work to complain and tell me I was "being a shitty friend by missing her wedding, and using the fact that you just got married as an excuse". I can't make it because I'll be in Mexico on my honeymoon, not because I don't want to go. 

Same bridesmaid has already changed her last name on facebook. 

Same bridesmaid is now posting photos of both herself and her FI on facebook wearing wedding rings. Legit pictures of just their hands.

Are you married or engaged? I would assume changing your name before the wedding is a no-no, let alone wearing any sort of wedding bands before you're married.

I'm wondering if they just went to the courthouse and now she's planning a PPD....is it wrong I want to call her and ask if they're already married? Can you really not wait the whole 9 months of your engagement before presenting yourself as a Mrs. online?

I don't know that her and I will be friends very long past our weddings if this is how she really is. I've known her for four years, and while she has been pushy at times, I've never seen her act so ridiculous.



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IceQueenSupreme94

Re: Snark on my bridesmaid

  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    So has she always been BSC or is this a new development?


    I would have such a hard time not commenting on the pics of the wedding rings. "Oh, congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. ___! Guess you changed your mind about waiting 'til [Date]!"
    Would totally do this.

    She sounds a tidge off her rocker.

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    PrettyGirlLostcharcoalandblush
  • So has she always been BSC or is this a new development?


    I would have such a hard time not commenting on the pics of the wedding rings. "Oh, congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. ___! Guess you changed your mind about waiting 'til [Date]!"
    She's always been extremely competitive and one to rush, but I wouldn't have pegged her BSC until now. She wanted to buy a house with her husband/fiancé after only dating for two months!

    I assumed she would be "competitive" with her wedding planning too but come on! Wedding bands before you're even married?! The last name change was a pretty massive eyeroll too.

    I know the saying "when you know" but she goes so fast with everything I feel like she's cheating herself out of the fun of being engaged! Just get married now & skip the destination wedding, cost, and stress if you're that anxious to be a Mrs.



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    Knottie1452098987
  • sheknows6sheknows6 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2015

    Weddings are great. They apparently reveal all the latent batshit crazy in your "friends," which is a relief, because it means you don't have to be friends with them anymore. (Or is that just me being an introverted curmudgeon who can only "maintain" a limited number of close friendships at one time?)

    Nope, totally there with you on that one. The number gets smaller every year.

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    kimmiinthemitten
  • I totally get you with regards to the wedding ring photos. My sister and her fiance have been wearing their rings since they got them about a month ago (they also did a fb photo). Everyone thinks they're crazy and toast it's more than a little weird. It really bugged me when I first noticed. It doesn't bother me quite as much now but I'm still scratching my head.

    That being said neither of them have changed their names so your friend wins that crazy award.
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  • MadHops21MadHops21 Buried in blankets member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    FI got me an engagement ring that I'm keeping as my wedding ring, but a small, thin wedding band for the wedding. I got him a ring a few years back just because it was sort of like a "promise" ring.

    I took some cool photos in my car one rainy day and posted on FB, but not my wedding band (we got it cheap on Black Friday last year, wedding is in 2016) and FI doesn't have his wedding band yet.

    I get posting pictures of existing rings, but rings you'll use on your wedding? Nooope. 
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    JFC, what a peach.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I'd definitely be tempted to comment something like "guess I won't be missing your wedding for Mexico after all! Congrats?"

    I do love when friends are ever so kind as to enlighten me to the reasons I shouldn't bother with them anymore, though. Super helpful.

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    KatieinBklnmadamerwinEunoiaPhoenix
  • MadHops21 said:

    FI got me an engagement ring that I'm keeping as my wedding ring, but a small, thin wedding band for the wedding. I got him a ring a few years back just because it was sort of like a "promise" ring.


    I took some cool photos in my car one rainy day and posted on FB, but not my wedding band (we got it cheap on Black Friday last year, wedding is in 2016) and FI doesn't have his wedding band yet.

    I get posting pictures of existing rings, but rings you'll use on your wedding? Nooope. 
    OT but I walked in mid-gif and thought the dog ate the kitten.

    Whoops.
    madamerwin
  • I wear an engagement ring, while my FI wears a band. He feels that it's not fair for me to be showing everyone that I'm taken, but that he's not until married. For him, he wants to express that he's made the commitment to someone, and it's not like there are engagement rings for men. We're not married yet, and are waiting till our day, but still, he wears a ring because he wants to. So maybe your friend isn't married yet, and they're just showing they're taken. It may also be that she's so controlling that she's making him wear a ring to show other women he's taken? o.O
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    Knottie1452098987
  • I wear an engagement ring, while my FI wears a band. He feels that it's not fair for me to be showing everyone that I'm taken, but that he's not until married. For him, he wants to express that he's made the commitment to someone, and it's not like there are engagement rings for men. We're not married yet, and are waiting till our day, but still, he wears a ring because he wants to. So maybe your friend isn't married yet, and they're just showing they're taken. It may also be that she's so controlling that she's making him wear a ring to show other women he's taken? o.O

    It's not just a male engagement ring to show that he's taken and they actually do make male engagement rings. If it was really as simple as that she wouldn't be presenting herself without her engagement ring and showing off their hands together wearing wedding bands and posting under her future married name.

    While I'd love to give her the benefit of the doubt, knowing her as well as I do, this is not the case. She is acting like they're already married.



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  • IceQueenSupreme94IceQueenSupreme94 Riverside, CA member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its

    It must  be hard having a friend with the mentality of a 16 year old girl. Your a saint for being such a good friend to the mentally impaired

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