When to send thank-you notes?

Re: When to send thank-you notes?

• pinupbride6189 member

  

  April 2015

  I think, and Knotties, please correct me if I'm wrong, that you have 2 weeks to send a thank you note for gifts received before the wedding. If they bring another gift to the wedding, you'd send another thank you note, but if not, I don't believe another thank you note is necessary. If they're at the reception and don't bring another gift, you can thank them during table visits (or a receiving line, etc.) but the reception and table visits should be sufficient at that point.

  
  

  
  

  

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• blabla89 member

  

  April 2015

  IMO, a thank you note should always be sent immediately.
  

  

  
  
  

  
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  April 2015

  Send a thank you note immediately but do not use the gift until the wedding takes place.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  April 2015

  AddieCake said:

  Send a thank you note immediately but do not use the gift until the wedding takes place.

  Exactly this.

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• littlepep member

  

  April 2015

  Yes, send a thank you note immediately. That let's them know that you received the gift. You wouldn't want them wondering if it made it to you. You can always say something like "looking forward to celebrating with you at the wedding" or something along those lines.

  

  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  April 2015

  Thank you notes should always be sent immediately upon receipt of a gift.  This way the gift giver knows that you actually received it.  But just don't use the item until after the wedding.  Because heaven forbid something were to happen and the wedding did not go off as plan you can give the gift back.

  
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  April 2015

  Drives me NUTS when people wait until after the wedding to send the TY note for a gift I sent a month before the shower I didn't attend.  Did you get the gift I shipped to you from your registry?  Or does your neighbor now have an electric pancake griddle?

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• Dreamergirl8812 member

  

  April 2015

  Knottie76541734 said:

  I'm getting married in July, but we've received a few gifts already, and I know more are on the way. My question is, when do I send thank-you notes? Normal etiquette would say send them right away. But I can remember many weddings where I've been a guest and given a gift, and I received a thank-you after the wedding.  This way the couple could say, "it was so much fun celebrating with you," or "we're so glad you could be there with us," or something along those lines. It would be much more manageable to just send the thank-you's on an ongoing basis as the gifts arrive, but on the other hand it would be nice to be able to say something about our time together at the wedding if I wait. Is there a rule for this?

  
  

  Send them out ASAP. Those people^^^ were just lazy.
  
  You will be thanking us after your wedding, when you have a huge stack of thank yous to write, but 10 less to do because you sent them weeks ago.
  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  

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• levioosa member

  

  April 2015

  Addie's advice was perfect.
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• jacques27 member

  

  April 2015

  Immediately.

  I promise you, no one in the history of gift giving has ever complained about being thanked in a timely manner.  Nor have they ever said "Well, harrumph, I can't believe they sent me a thank you card already.  How dare they not wait until they have the chance to tell me how wonderful it is to see me, in addition to telling me how much they like the gift I bought them!"

  They will, however, be verily impressed by your thoughtfulness and good manners when you thank them promptly.

  
  

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• aphrodite0869 member

  

  April 2015

  Sending them immediately is the best option.  I received a gift a year before my wedding but I send a thank you right after I received it because 1. this person wasn't coming to our wedding (it was a guest at the restaurant I work at, total surprise)  and 2. I know I would forget about it since they weren't on the list as a guest and all the stuff you have to do when you get back from a honeymoon.  It's always best to do things right away!  Good Luck!

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• lilacck28 member

  

  April 2015

  We've also received a few wedding gifts early. I've been sending the thank you cards almost immediately (sometimes I lag by a week). Like @littlepep said, we include a line like "We can't wait to see you in May!" or, if they've already declined "we will be thinking about you at the wedding!" I think that is just as nice/ personal as "it was great to see you at the wedding!" 

  
  

  We've already heard from some people (mostly our older guests) how touched they were that they already received a thank you note. 

  
  

  We've been bad and have been using the gifts we've received (nice knives! mixer! TOWELS!). If FI decides not to marry me in the next few weeks, I'm prepared to re-buy and send those gifts back to our guests. And I've read that if someone dies (OMG. please please, no.) then you don't need to return the gifts. But PP are right, it is definitely safer to not use the gifts. 

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• Snaps816 member

  

  April 2015

  Thank you everyone!  I can't believe I haven't been back on the site since I wrote my question -- but I truly do appreciate your answers. I will get on those notes right away!!

  

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• LondonLisa member

  

  April 2015

  "I'm so frustrated that I received a prompt thank you note" -Nobody, ever.

  
  

  I can't think of any situation where a thank you not should not be sent as soon as possible after sending a gift. I start to side-eye if I do not receive a thank you note for a wedding gift 6 weeks after a wedding, after 2 months I judge. Gifts before the wedding should have a thank you note sent immediately. A good tip someone taught me:have a giant stack of stationery/stamps on your coffee table so you can knock it out as soon as you open the gift. We have done this with engagement gifts as they trickle in, and it takes 3 minutes each but adds up fast if you let it slide.

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