Pre-wedding Parties

A bit stressed out about my engagement party

Hello, I need to vent a little...

I got engaged 2 weeks ago with my long time love and we are planning for a 2 year engagement. Problem is...I am a senior finishing my last semester of college, and I am in a really intense major (graphic's definitely not as easy as it seems, and its a competitive program at my school) but anyway. My mom and sister wanted to throw the engagement party ASAP. It's 3 am here in California and the party is gonna be in the noon and I still have ALOT of homework. In fact, I am pretty behind and I am trying my hardest to catch up. I suggested to have my party after my graduate, but I guess they got so excited and wanted to do it right away so it can still be fresh in peoples minds. But it's like the worst time to plan it because we are inundated with a ton of school work, projects, etc. to put together our web and print portfolio and apply for jobs, and for our spring show at the end of the semester. I should be grateful and I honestly truly am, don't get me wrong. I just wish they could have listened to me you know? Plus if we did it after graduation I wouldn't be stressed out or cranky. Also, I have lupus so I have to be careful with my stress levels.

Anyway, it's a 2 year engagement and it's not like we are in a rush. Also, I have to learn to get used to being in the spotlight especially as a bride, because I am pretty shy and get overwhelmed with the spotlight easily. I want like 100–120 people at our wedding and even then it feels like a lot. I guess I also feel awkward with older relatives or my mom and sister's friends finding out I am getting married because they will always see me as a little girl even though I am 25.

Idk, I'm just ranting a bit, but I honestly am grateful that they are doing so much for me. I feel so loved and special. Anyone else feel this way?

Re: A bit stressed out about my engagement party

  • I totally understand. No one cleared dates with me for the shower, so I feel like it's being done for the wrong reasons. I waffle between being happy it's being thrown and annoyed as hell. It's also apparently supposed to be a surprise but people have told me they got the invitations which lack the word "surprise" on them, not to mention FH spilt the beans about it (I knew it was coming for a while just nothing specific until he told me). Now I get to pretend I'm surprised for a shower I have to pretend I know nothing about. It's really weird. So I get where you're coming from. 
  • edited April 2015
    Oh wow, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know our loved ones have the best of intentions though.

    I had my party today and I did have a lot of fun but I was super overwhelmed by the spotlight, especially when my mom wanted us to toast and everyone took nonstop photos of us. Idk, I don't feel photogenic and I'm still feeling self-conscious about my body and weight because I take prednisone (but I wore a maxi dress and a cardigan which helped). We are Filipino, and Filipinos are known for being super loud, extroverted types with crazy parties and I'm totally not like that. My fiancé is half Filipino and he is really introverted too, but he has done a really good job of trying to calm my nerves and telling me to let them take pictures and enjoy it. I don't want to feel like an ungrateful brat because my sister made cupcakes, cake and beef stew even though she was so sick (she has lupus too)...and she and a 12 year old family friend coordinated together and made a video for my fiancé and I. It was so touching, and I almost cried when I saw the pictures of my dad in the video (he passed away 2 years ago). I relaxed when I was with my own friends though, I guess it's the family friends of my mom and sister who make me nervous, even though they were super nice and I am thankful they came.

    I guess because the engagement party was so sudden, and with a 2 year wait for the wedding I'll be more prepared but it's still gonna be nerve wrecking as hell.
  • You have a lot of time to prepare... so hopefully now with this experience you can formulate a plan for the rest of the wedding events.


    Good luck.

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