Hi kindred (snarky) spirits! I am loving reading through these threads and I feel like most of you have the same sorts of values as I do in terms of what makes a well hosted wedding reception.
I have only been to 2 weddings in my life and one was amazing, one was terrible. I haven't have a lot to go on as I have been planning, my mother is not interested in weddings at all, my FH has opinions on certain points but neither of us are well heeled in the etiquette department.
So, I submit to you my wedding plans, please let me know if I am inadvertently creating any etiquette faux-pas.
Our wedding is on a Saturday in late June in Ontario (Canada). Guest list is approx 90 people, budget around $40,000 (will probably come in <$30,000, but room to spend more if needed).
Venue is the grounds of a historic mansion, ceremony will be outside, reception inside the 'coach house' building which has lighting, a kitchen, A/C and bathrooms. The venue is about 30 minutes from the town where we live/nearest hotels.
His family and friends are largely flying in from BC, mine are from Ontario and the Northeastern US. about 60% of guests are OOT. We have blocked off hotel rooms in a hotel in our town and have a shuttle service to take guests to/from the venue. We are even footing the bill for some of FH's friends hotel rooms, as it is an expensive trip for them and we really wanted people to be able to come. This was done on a one-to-one basis, i.e. other guests don't know that we are paying for some guests hotel rooms.
We are doing a first look and all family photos before the ceremony. Shuttles will leave town at 3:15 and arrive approx 3:45 (buffer built in). Invite time is 4pm, some local people may drive themselves. We will have water, iced tea and snow cones as people arrive (outside, average temp 27 celcius, sunny, I hope.) We have a tent set up on the grounds as well as a rain plan. There will be some pinic tables and couches to sit. Ceremony will start at 4:15. We have 1-2 rows of chairs for family/older guests BUT the majority of people would have to stand for the ceremony - is this terrible? Ceremony should run <10 minutes (the whole thing is 2 pages typed).
After the ceremony, cocktail hour starts immediately in the same space (garden). We will have a hosted bar with bar rail, wine, beer, and some specialty cocktails. FH and I will *not* be taking photos during this time, but rather try to use it as an extended receiving line where we go around and try to say hi/thank/hug everyone. There would be no other entertainment during this hour, just the bar and some passed hors'ouerves. After 60-75 minutes, we will ask people to move inside. Cake cutting will happen before dinner. Dinner (5 course chef's tasting menu with wine pairings) will start around 6, with toasts between courses (strict max 5 minutes talking time).
After dinner FH and I will leave for about 30 minutes for sunset photos (I am hoping guests will be ok having tea/coffee and chatting during this time), then come back and do our first dance and open the dance floor.
At 10pm there will be a snack bar and specialty (alcoholic) coffee bar. The first shuttle will leave around 10:30 and there will be a shuttle leaving every 30-45 minutes after that until 1am (when a sedan will also come to pick us up).
We made a small registry at myregistry.com but we know that for most of our guests, they went to a lot of expense to make it so I am not expecting very much in way of gifts beyond their time.
Things I am worried about -
Standing ceremony, even if only for 10 minutes, my FH really wants it to be standing as it is more 'casual' I am afraid it is rude.
Hour+ cocktail hour without entertainment (just me and FH making the rounds) - maybe yard games or something?
Shuttles - leaving town at 3pm when the hotel check in is not until 3pm - I have asked them to accommodate early check ins as much as possible, and I am hoping most OOT guests would arrive on Friday night. Also, on the way back, shuttles not leaving until 10:30, is this too late (would get back to hotel at 11pm).
Any thoughts/other glaring problems?