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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Guest List Etiquette - Coworkers

I work for a small family owned company. Its me, the Owner, his two sons, two daughter-in-laws, his granddaughter, her husband, and three other people working here. 

I am on a pretty strict budget for my wedding and since I have such an enormous family, I have to cut back on people I originally absolutely wanted to invite. That being said, Im really struggling on what to do about inviting my coworkers. I definitely want to invite my boss and his wife...they are really nice people and in the 4 years that I have worked for him, he has gone above and beyond to make me feel welcome, appreciated, and part of the family (as has his wife, whom I see often). The issue I am dealing with is whether to invite just my boss and his wife, or invite the whole family. If I decide to invite the family, I will be inviting an extra 12 people to the mix not including my boss and his wife. BUT on the other hand, if I just invite my boss and his wife, I am worried that there will be some pretty hurt feelings and that is the absolute last thing I want. I've talked to my finance about this and he just tells me do decide what I think is best. I know he personally thinks its just extra cost to invite them all, but I cant come to a decision. Luckily I still have some time before I make a final decision, but I was hoping to get some advice from people not directly linked to the situation. Any advice, positive or negative, will be a huge help and I really appreciate your feedback.

Re: Guest List Etiquette - Coworkers

  • arrrghmateyarrrghmatey member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2015
    If you are on a budget, you are on a budget, and you should be mindful of it if you don't want to start your marriage in debt. If it were just a couple of extra people that wouldn't break the bank, that is one thing. However, an extra 12 people is a lot. That's more meals, more drinks, more cake, more tables….etc. I would just invite your boss and his wife, since you 'definitely' want them present. Just be sure to avoid discussing your wedding in the presence of the non-invited. If any of the other family members ask you about being invited or mention how they are looking forward to your wedding, then they are being rude, and you politely say "I'm sorry, but we're not able to invite everyone we would like."
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  • I think you're fine inviting just the boss and his wife, especially since you're very close to them. 

    If it makes you feel any better, I'm close with a few people in my office and had initially planned to invite them, but ended up not being able to due to budget restrictions. I never mentioned anything to them, and at this point with my wedding less than 3 weeks away I'm sure they know they're not invited, but they don't seem to care. 

    No one is entitled to an invitation to someone else's wedding, and if people choose to have hurt feelings over it, that's their problem. I'm sure your co-workers will understand, though. 
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  • If you are on a budget, you are on a budget, and you should be mindful of it if you don't want to start your marriage in debt. If it were just a couple of extra people that wouldn't break the bank, that is one thing. However, an extra 12 people is a lot. That's more meals, more drinks, more cake, more tables….etc. I would just invite your boss and his wife, since you 'definitely' want them present. Just be sure to avoid discussing your wedding in the presence of the non-invited. If any of the other family members ask you about being invited or mention how they are looking forward to your wedding, then they are being rude, and you politely say "I'm sorry, but we're not able to invite everyone we would like."

    This. Even if feelings are hurt, there is no requirement that you invite the whole family. But if you don't invite all of them, I'd refrain from discussing the wedding at work.
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2015
    ZK1120 said:

    I work for a small family owned company. Its me, the Owner, his two sons, two daughter-in-laws, his granddaughter, her husband, and three other people working here. 


    I am on a pretty strict budget for my wedding and since I have such an enormous family, I have to cut back on people I originally absolutely wanted to invite. That being said, Im really struggling on what to do about inviting my coworkers. I definitely want to invite my boss and his wife...they are really nice people and in the 4 years that I have worked for him, he has gone above and beyond to make me feel welcome, appreciated, and part of the family (as has his wife, whom I see often). The issue I am dealing with is whether to invite just my boss and his wife, or invite the whole family. If I decide to invite the family, I will be inviting an extra 12 people to the mix not including my boss and his wife. BUT on the other hand, if I just invite my boss and his wife, I am worried that there will be some pretty hurt feelings and that is the absolute last thing I want. I've talked to my finance about this and he just tells me do decide what I think is best. I know he personally thinks its just extra cost to invite them all, but I cant come to a decision. Luckily I still have some time before I make a final decision, but I was hoping to get some advice from people not directly linked to the situation. Any advice, positive or negative, will be a huge help and I really appreciate your feedback.
    You should not invite people just because you think there will be hurt feelings. Also, to the bolded, if you have already cut people you wanted to invite, why would you invite these other co workers? If these co workers weren't related to your boss, would you even be considering it? It doesn't sound like you want to invite them, so don't. 

    Just invite your boss and his wife.
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