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Inviting parent's friends - abnormal circumstances

Knottie56113986Knottie56113986 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding 911
I have a big dilemma I need to solve maybe within hours.  So my parents are paying for our entire wedding reception - food, hall rental, and decor costs.  I know this does give them the right to add guests to our list with mine and my FI's approval.  That's the problem. They want to invite their good friends to the wedding.  We have met these people and do like them but the issue is we used to be good friends with their daughter as well. Well, with her we had a falling out a few months ago before wedding talk began.  We feel it would be awkward excluding her but still inviting her parents.  I know it sounds drama-y but I am unable to tell my parents what caused the fall-out because they would tell their friends which may damage their relationship with their daughter.
My FI also is highly against inviting them because our guest list is pretty much entirely family with only a few of our close friends.

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Re: Inviting parent's friends - abnormal circumstances

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I don't think you're required to invite their daughter.
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  • mikenbergermikenberger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2015
    The daughter is a separate social unit from the parents. You can invite the parents and not the daughter. If your parents want to invite them, sounds like they are going to be at your wedding reception.

    Now, what would you do if one of the parents couldn't come and instead, brought along the daughter? Or if they brought the daughter with them? How would you feel about that?

    ETA: Both of my scenarios are "What if?" and rude of the guests to do, FYI. Just asking.

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  • arrrghmateyarrrghmatey member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    mikenberger said:

    The daughter is a separate social unit from the parents. You can invite the parents and not the daughter. If your parents want to invite them, sounds like they are going to be at your wedding reception.


    Now, what would you do if one of the parents couldn't come and instead, brought along the daughter? Or if they brought the daughter with them? How would you feel about that?

    ETA: Both of my scenarios are "What if?" and rude of the guests to do, FYI. Just asking.
    This. And I'd also not discount the possibility that this friend may not even want to come to your wedding if you had such a big falling out. I doubt she cares about your wedding anymore, unless she just wants to be a biatch and show up anyway just to spite you. 

    You don't have to invite the daughter because she is a separate social unit, but if you decide not to tell your parents why you do not wish to have her invited, be prepared for her to be invited or to take the spot of one of her parents. If your folks are paying, they get the ultimate say in the guest list.
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ditto pps.  You don't have to invite the daughter. 


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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree with PP - the daughter doesn't need to be invited...
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    The parents and daughter aren't a social unit. It's fine to invite the parents and not the daughter. You should explain to your parents that you and friends' daughter are no longer friends and you would prefer she not be invited. As an adult, you don't have to give your parents the details.

    The only way to get complete control over your guest list is to pay for your own wedding. Your fi is wrong to tell your parents that they can't invite their good friends.


                       
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  • Knottie56113986Knottie56113986 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Thanks everyone. The matter has pretty much been resolved.  My parents agreed with the awkwardness that may be present and are okay not inviting them due to our feelings on it.  But we have also accepted that if they change their minds we won't stop them.

    I'm just confused why everyone thought inviting the daughter was ever an option.  My parents were aware we are not friends anymore and I was speaking strictly about the parents.

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