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Thoughts on Being Rude to Someone Who Is Rude

loveislouderloveislouder member
First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
in Chit Chat
So my co-worker (the bitchy one that essentially told me I was fired) was like "Omg is that a new shirt? Where do people your size even buy clothes?" To which I automatically responded without thinking "Where do people your size buy bras?"

I feel like a bitch, but what say you? Is it okay to be a bitch to someone who started it?
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Re: Thoughts on Being Rude to Someone Who Is Rude

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    KatieinBklnKatieinBkln member
    First Answer First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited April 2015
    It's absolutely okay.

    Plenty of people may disagree and argue for "the high road," but I am all in a feminist tizzy at the moment, so I'm not in a place where I'm willing to say that anyone should have to "make nice" when it is not, in fact, their fault that the "niceness contract" was broken.

    If you don't want to/are not in a position to be rude back, there's always the slow blink, followed by, "What a rude thing to ask me."


    ETA: or if it's your boss or something and you don't want to lose your job immediately, there is the slightly less provocative option: "What an interesting thing to say out loud."
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
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    plainjane0415plainjane0415 member
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    I would have probably said something worse to her.

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    I think it is fine.  If they are going to be disrespectful to you then you do not owe them any type of respect back.  Fuck her.

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    plainjane0415plainjane0415 member
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    sarawifenow said:

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    That was an amazing come back. I like it!

    I usually just point blank ask people why they are so rude when they have a history of being jackasses. 9 times out of 10 they just freeze and start sputtering excuses while I walk away feeling like a bad bitch.


    I like this approach. 
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    lovegood90lovegood90 member
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    Totally fine. People who are rude to me don't deserve my respect or common courtesy. And holy shit, that comment was way out of line. Great comeback!

    Formerly martha1818

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    blabla89blabla89 member
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    loveislouder said:

    So my co-worker (the bitchy one that essentially told me I was fired) was like "Omg is that a new shirt? Where do people your size even buy clothes?" To which I automatically responded without thinking "Where do people your size buy bras?"

    I feel like a bitch, but what say you? Is it okay to be a bitch to someone who started it?

    image

    Seriously though...there are times when people need to be put in their place, and there are other times when you should kill them with kindness. If I had been in your position, I might have ripped her a new one about how rude and unprofessional that was, but I like your response better :)
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    NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein member
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    I wish I could come up with rude comebacks on the spot!

    Usually I just get flustered and walk away, but if I could come up with a zinger back I totally would, and do it with relish!

    Good on ya!
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    larrygagalarrygaga member
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    I'm usually rude right back. I don't feel like it's my duty to be nice to people who are verbally abusive.

    I try to confront them in a way that isn't rude but still standing up for myself, but as a stereotype my red hair means I am a hot blooded woman.
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    blabla89 said:

    So my co-worker (the bitchy one that essentially told me I was fired) was like "Omg is that a new shirt? Where do people your size even buy clothes?" To which I automatically responded without thinking "Where do people your size buy bras?"

    I feel like a bitch, but what say you? Is it okay to be a bitch to someone who started it?
    image

    Seriously though...there are times when people need to be put in their place, and there are other times when you should kill them with kindness. If I had been in your position, I might have ripped her a new one about how rude and unprofessional that was, but I like your response better :)


    And so much this.  I mean this is a co-worker.  She really needs to watch her mouth or it could land her in some serious trouble with HR.

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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In my head, I would say FAR worse things to her. And I'd probably take it to another level.

    But IRL, it depends in the context. If it's a professional setting, family, or somewhere I can't afford to burn a bridge, I'd probably say "well that was extremely rude and hurtful. Why would you say that?" Sometimes blatantly calling someone out and making them accountable for being an asshole is more effective than meeting insult with insult.

    If it were some stranger in the supermarket, I'd probably look for some sign of insecurity, rip it open and twist the knife.
    *********************************************************************************

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    novella1186novella1186 member
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    southernbelle0915 said:

    In my head, I would say FAR worse things to her. And I'd probably take it to another level.

    But IRL, it depends in the context. If it's a professional setting, family, or somewhere I can't afford to burn a bridge, I'd probably say "well that was extremely rude and hurtful. Why would you say that?" Sometimes blatantly calling someone out and making them accountable for being an asshole is more effective than meeting insult with insult.

    If it were some stranger in the supermarket, I'd probably look for some sign of insecurity, rip it open and twist the knife.

    yes! 100% agree with the bolded for some situations or certain people. 

    My dad can be a total asshole and say really shitty things. If you rise to the occasion and get shitty back, you just go in circles and get dragged into a dumb argument or something. It's frustrating as fuck, and he remains oblivious to the fact that he's way out of line.

    But if you just stop, look him right in the eye, and say pretty much the exact wording that southernbelle posted, it catches him off-guard and he immediately stops. He may even apologize, which is huge for him. 

    But I also think there are times when being rude back and putting someone in their place is exactly what they need. 
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    amelishaamelisha member
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    I don't think it's wrong to retaliate, but as a rule I try not to. It doesn't make me feel better and it doesn't make the situation better. I know some people will argue that it makes the rude person think it's okay to say those things, but I'm not into confrontation and I'm not responsible for teaching other people right from wrong, so....

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    littlepeplittlepep member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    princessgracekelly said:

    To be completely honest, I Bon Qui Qui it up around friends and casual acquaintances.

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    Another favorite is "Hurtful. Hurtful."

    I have a face that just can't lie for the life of me, so even in a professional context, when someone makes a rude comment I'm likeimage

    before I get the chance to say anything and that makes people backtrack.

    I am such a big fan of this face. It's generally my go to as well. 
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    minttobemrsbminttobemrsb member
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    No, I don't blame you at all. In my head, I would have tore her a new one. When I encounter people like that, I tend to just stare at them in disgust. I am really starting to think that some people have absolutely no idea they are even being rude. They are just completely oblivious. 

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    mrsdee15mrsdee15 member
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    That is rude as fuck.  I wish I could come up with witty comebacks on the spot like that, mine always come to me the next day or something.  I also agree with PPs, sometimes it's better to call out the asshatery, but your comeback was amazing.  Maybe that'll stick in her mind for the next time she thinks about making such a nasty comment.
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    Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    It depends. As I've gotten older, I care less and less about taking the high road with people who are oblivious that the road even exists. With strangers or people who typically don't make a habit of being rude to me, I usually just give the eye. If it's someone who is repeatedly and unrepentantly rude to me, I just start being rude right back. Bridges don't mean shit to me if they aren't leading to someone I want to deal with anyway. 
    ~*~*~*~*~

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    "If you'll forgive me for not answering, I'll forgive you for asking."
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