Pre-wedding Parties

Should the groom's mother be invited to my family's bridal shower?

My wedding will be almost three hours away from my hometown, since we are getting married where the groom is from (his parents own a wedding venue).  My mother and grandmother are throwing me a bridal shower in June and inviting the just the women on my side of the family and my female friends to the shower.  The groom's mother has offered to throw me a shower the month before as well, and that's fine.  I was wondering however, should she also be extended an invitation to my family's bridal shower?  Not sure what the protocol is here.

Re: Should the groom's mother be invited to my family's bridal shower?

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    I think an invite should be extended.  This isn't your FIs third cousin that he sees once every 5 years, this is your FMIL.  So yes, she should be invited.

    levioosa
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited March 2015

    My wedding will be almost three hours away from my hometown, since we are getting married where the groom is from (his parents own a wedding venue).  My mother and grandmother are throwing me a bridal shower in June and inviting the just the women on my side of the family and my female friends to the shower.  The groom's mother has offered to throw me a shower the month before as well, and that's fine.  I was wondering however, should she also be extended an invitation to my family's bridal shower?  Not sure what the protocol is here.

    Why wouldn't she be? Because it's just your side of the family? Just because it's just your side of the family, doesn't mean it's some exclusive club. I would extend an invite.

    image
  • I don't think she is inviting my mom to the one she is holding for me, and it was more the fact I didn't want her to feel obligated to make the 3 hour drive on my account.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member

    I don't think she is inviting my mom to the one she is holding for me, and it was more the fact I didn't want her to feel obligated to make the 3 hour drive on my account.

    Personally I think the Mothers of the couple to be should always be invited to the showers.  And an invitation is not a summons.  If she can't make the drive or doesn't want to make the drive then she can simply decline.

    MairePoppy
  • I don't think she is inviting my mom to the one she is holding for me, and it was more the fact I didn't want her to feel obligated to make the 3 hour drive on my account.

    Personally I think the Mothers of the couple to be should always be invited to the showers.  And an invitation is not a summons.  If she can't make the drive or doesn't want to make the drive then she can simply decline.
    This. Your mother should be invited to the shower your FMIL is having and your FMIL should be invited to the one your mother is hosting. If your mom is not invited then that is "bad" on your FMIL but you should always try and do the right thing.

    I would think you FMIL would love the chance at getting to know your side of the family better. If she decides she does not want to make the drive she can simply decline.
  • I would definitely invite her.

    If the only reason you wouldn't is because she may or may not be inviting your mom to the shower she's offered to you, I don't think that's a great reason. MOGs are typically invited to wedding showers even if it's thrown/for the bride's side.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • adk19adk19
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Don't not invite her because you don't want her to make the drive alone.  But I'm not completely against not inviting her for another reason; she won't know anybody else attending except you, she doesn't get along with or mesh well with your mother and other family members, you yourself don't particularly like her, etc.  Just like she doesn't have to attend just because she's invited, I don't think she has to be invited just because she's a relative of the person you're marrying.

    I hope that was understandable what with all the double and triple negatives.
  • Ok thanks for the help guys!  I wasn't sure what the protocols were considering I haven't been to a bridal shower since I was probably 11.  I'll be adding her name to the list.  Thanks again!

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod

    Typically, in my circle, both mothers are invited to all showers. There's a good chance your moms will only want to attend the showers that they are throwing for their sides, but they should have the option of attending. If you're concerned about your fmil making the drive alone, why not invite her sister, mother or best friend?

                
  • I think you need to at least extend the invitation. If she does not want to make the drive to the shower hosted by your family, she does have the option to decline. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • If you want to invite her then invite her, however if you do end up with 2 make sure the guest lists do not overlap. 
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