Sorry if this gets long and confusing I'll try to keep it brief and simple.
A friend from high school (Dave) that I haven't talked with in roughly 4-5 years is getting married this fall and I can't make the wedding because I'm in another wedding that same day. Recently I went to a wedding shower for a mutual friend from high school (Karen) and Dave's FI (Susie) was there my friend Nichole and I sat with Susie since she didn't know many people there. We had never met her before Karen's shower and were making small chat. Dave and Susie's wedding came up and she told us that they had invited something like 250 people but were hoping only 1/2 of them showed up but the rest still sent gifts. Nichole and I were floored and honestly offended. Now we're not sure if Dave invited us because he actually wanted us there or if they just want our gifts.
Nichole and I just got the invite to Susie's shower and aren't going and neither of us are planning on sending a gift because the money that could go towards her gift could go further other places towards other things.We chose not to go because 1.) we don't know her well enough and don't really feel obligated through Dave since we also haven't talked to him in years & 2.) Her gift grabby comment at Karen's shower really piiisssed us off. The only reason I'm second guessing not going is because my mom asked if I seriously wasn't going to send a gift.
My question is how would you handle it? Would you go? Would you skip and send a gift or just RSVP no and not send anything?