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Babies at reception

Knottie17008531Knottie17008531 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hey everyone I could use some advice here.

 I am getting married in October and children are invited to our wedding. Which will include my nephew who will be 8 months old. No children or babies are in the wedding though. My side of the family will be OOT guests and traveling about 3 hours and staying one or two nights. My sister is in the wedding as well but her husband is not. Please note I am not against anyone bringing their babies to my wedding, and my sister may still be breast feeding then although I am not sure. Our reception is taking place a restored barn venue that offers us a small building about 30 ft from main reception barn which includes two rooms and a bathroom. About two months ago my sister and I spoke about having a babysitter for my nephew at the reception so they could leave him with the sitter in the other building and still be able to have fun but know he is in good hands and can nap as needed, I plan to have a friends sister babysit who I know.
The reception hall is basically one room with small bathrooms and she feels she can bring her Pack N Play and place it in the reception room for the entirety of the wedding for him to sleep/play in. I also plan to have a high chair for him and leave room at the table for a stroller, but I feel the pack n play in the reception hall is a bit excessive when we have this other quiet room right near by ( I completely understand not wanting to leave your child on their own sleeping in another room of an unfamiliar place, which why we felt a babysitter was a good idea) but I have others who may be bringing children. One who will be 1 and the other two who will be about 6 weeks and if I allow my sister to have her pack n play then I feel I need to accommodate both my other family members children and allow them to also bring a pack n play of some sorts and place them in the reception room. And the room really does not allow much room for one with tables, the dj and dance floor, bar and we are having a buffet. How do I go about this as not to offend her, and what is everyone's advice on having a babysitter at the wedding and activities for children.
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Re: Babies at reception

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Generally we advise either inviting the children or not, and if you do, let their parents worry about providing for their kids' needs. Since many parents aren't willing to leave their kids with a babysitter they don't know, we generally don't advise finding one for your wedding. If your sister knows and approves of the person you want to hire, that's another story and you can bring it up to her, but be prepared even in that instance for her to decline to use him or her.
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  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    I have no idea what a pack and play is, but if its some sort of play pen like thing then that seems excessive to me. We had several babies at our reception, but no kids over one year old or so. I didn't hire a babysitter and I didn't have any sort of area set up for babies. If a couple wanted to bring their baby because they were breastfeeding or traveling from out of town or whatever the reason, I made sure they had extra room at their reception table for a stroller or a carrier, and I checked with each ahead of time if they wanted a high chair set up for them. That was it. 

    If a couple preferred to have a fun, baby free time, then that was on them to hire their own baby sitter and leave the little nugget at home. 

    I have a friend who had the opposite take, and invited all kids. She had a pretty kid-friendly reception area with a big lawn and lots of room for running around. My venue was decidedly not child friendly and we really had no interest in having kids there. Babies, though, I consider an easy exception to the no-kids rule because they're babies. 
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  • Knottie17008531Knottie17008531 member
    First Comment
    Thanks, I feel she thinks she in entitled to it since she is my sister but I felt like the other room being available and giving room at the tables for stroller and or carrier was sufficient.
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  • Knottie17008531Knottie17008531 member
    First Comment
    I do understand her and others not being comfortable with having someone they do not know babysit though.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yeah, the pack n play is over the top.   While she's at it if the reception venue chairs are uncomfortable should she bring in the ones she prefers from her kitchen or a more comfortable place to put up her feet? 

    It's one thing to know that your child is welcome at the venue but IMO, the only things that she should be able to bring in as "equipment" are a stroller, the car seat or a high chair.   

    Also, realistically, by the 8 mo mark, trying to get a baby to sleep in the pack and play is just excessive.   She can wear baby in a baby carrier and he'll probably be just fine.

    I'd mention that the PnP is a no go in the actual reception venue but baby is still welcome there.
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  • traditionallyuntraditionaltraditionallyuntraditional member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Did she actually ask to bring her PnP to a wedding reception or is that an assumption? I can't even imagine a mother asking to bring her PnP to a wedding reception that's insane.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Does she bring her pack and play with her when she goes to dinner?  Most likely no, so I don't see why she would think it okay to set it up in your reception room at your wedding.  So I agree that her wanting to bring a pack and play is a bit excessive.

    I would tell your sister that the pack and play can be set up in the quiet room but not in the reception area.  Honestly it sounds like she wants a place to stick her kid so she can do whatever the heck she wants at your reception without worrying he will crawl off..  If that is the case then why not just find a sitter for the kid and leave the child at home?

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  • littlepeplittlepep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Maggie0829 said:

    Does she bring her pack and play with her when she goes to dinner?  Most likely no, so I don't see why she would think it okay to set it up in your reception room at your wedding.  So I agree that her wanting to bring a pack and play is a bit excessive.


    I would tell your sister that the pack and play can be set up in the quiet room but not in the reception area.  Honestly it sounds like she wants a place to stick her kid so she can do whatever the heck she wants at your reception without worrying he will crawl off..  If that is the case then why not just find a sitter for the kid and leave the child at home?
    banana468 said, there's no reason she can't wear the baby or put him in a carrier unless she really doesn't want to have to watch him. In which case, she should get a sitter. 
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  • Knottie17008531Knottie17008531 member
    First Comment
    She did not ask, she just assumed and I was very taken aback by her assumption. You all have good points and are making me feel ALOT better. Thanks everyone!
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  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Just tell her that your venue won't allow it, and then explain to whoever the venue people! Ask them to ask her to take it out.

    Although it'll probably be so packed in there that she won't be able to find a spot to set it up. I've yet to go to a wedding where there was a big empty spot on the floor that isn't for dancing.
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    What an absurd request. No, she may not bring the pack and play, Uncle Earl may not bring his Barcalounger, cousin Katie cannot bring her sandbox.

    "Sorry sister, but the high chair or stroller is the only accommodation we'll be able to have inside the actual event space. Have you given any more thought to bringing a babysitter with you?"
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I agree. Tell her, "Sister, we are not going to have any place at our reception for your pack and play. We can only accommodate a high chair or a stroller for the baby. If those options don't work for you, we have to ask you not to bring the baby."
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