Already bridal party problems?

Blackbird230 · April 2015

I only have one sister. I was in her wedding August 2013 as a bridesmaid. I haven't decided on anyone in my bridal party (as per good judgement) beside for her. She's my sister, it's a bit of a no brainer.

This weekend I went to visit her and we were chatting about the wedding. She made a point to say well there's a thing called matron of honor.

It was like asking to be MOH without directly asking to be MOH. Although I definitely have considered her, I'm not sure who I want yet because I haven't decided! Am I overreacting by being a bit turned off by this?

labro · April 2015

Just ignore it. Don't bring it up and let the subject die on its own (hopefully). Like you so rightly said, this shouldn't even be on your radar yet. Especially if you are on the fence about even asking her.

If she brings it up again, tell her your wedding is so far off in the future that you and your FI haven't even talked about if you want a bridal party yet and leave it at that.

Hummingbird125 · April 2015

Yes.

Swazzle · April 2015

Yes, you're overreacting.

[Deleted User] · April 2015

Like @labro said, I would just ignore her or tell her that your wedding is still over a year and a half away and that you have plenty of time to think about wedding parties as well as other wedding decisions.

GoldenPenguin · April 2015

Well, since your wedding is still over a year & a half away, yes, you're overreacting. Because it should have been a conversation of "yea, there is, but the wedding is over a year & a half away, so I haven't even THOUGHT about bridal party yet. I'll let you know when I do."

bethsmiles · April 2015

I do think you are overreacting. People will make all sorts of comments, suggestions, etc about every aspect of your wedding. If you get upset about all of them it's just going to be emotionally exhausting. Was you sister hinting at wanting to be MOH? It's likely. But why does it matter? She didn't demand it or push it or create drama. Just ignore it and move on.

phira · April 2015

I think both things are true. Just brush it off; it's not worth your emotional energy. But you know your sister better than we do. I know people who are definitely passive aggressive and would drop that kind of comment as a hint, and I know people who wouldn't mean anything by it. But either way, ignore her.

Dignity100 · April 2015

Just play it off, if she brings it up again tell her you're wedding is over a year away and who knows what that year will bring (if it were me, I'd probably say 'it's over a year away, for all I know, we might just run away and elope' in a sarcastic manner). My guess is she felt she might get overlooked at Maid/Matron-of-Honor because she's already married and she wanted to let you know she'd like to be by your side.

A lot of people are going to offer their opinions and stuff as your wedding gets closer. It's annoying, but you just have to learn to let things slide.

cu97tiger · April 2015

How dare she, your sister, hint that she would like to support you by being her MOH (whether that be maid or matron... I had one of each). The nerve of some people.

500days · April 2015

Yes, the wedding is so far way that you should not be thinking about it. If your sister continues to mention it, then just do what other PPs have stated: tell her how far away the wedding is and bean dip. This will happen with other things, it's just part of having a long engagement.

eilis1228 · April 2015

I agree with the PPs-- if she brings it up again, just tell her you're still so far out from the wedding that you haven't thought about the BP and bean dip her. Also, you don't have to have a MOH or any other traditional type of WP. You can have your brother or a close male friend on your side, you can have no MOH and have everyone be a BM, or you can get rid of the WP entirely. Don't worry too much about the titles that go along with the WP or anything like that. When the time comes, focus instead on the people you care about the most and want to share that day with.

AuroraRose41 · April 2015

I agree with PP's to let it go. As another person with a fairly long engagement, I have already had my head scratching moments like this too. My mother, FMIL, FI's aunt, and FI's grandmother are all stressing out over what they are going to wear and keep asking me about it. I keep bean dipping them and saying that I haven't even gone dress shopping for myself yet and that they have plenty of time to decide still, but that I'm sure they will look beautiful in whatever they decide to wear when the time comes.

FMIL also suggested that I ask someone to be a bridesmaid, who I have no intention of asking. FBIL made some suggestions that were completely against etiquette and FI and I both said "No" in unison (He suggested "no ring no bring"/judging the seriousness of relationships by length of time; we told him why it was rude and that we wouldn't be doing it and he reacted with asking us to plan his wedding at some point in the future so he didn't make similar mistakes).

Yes, this was long, but my point is that even though these things might be annoying, just keep in mind that your loved ones are excited and want to be involved and that's why they are making suggestions. That has helped me keep things in perspective and not over react to suggestions that I do not like.

ETF: typos

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