this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Chit Chat
Chit Chat
New Discussion

My boss thinks she's invited...

Knottie1106Knottie1106 member
edited April 2015 in Chit Chat
Yes, I am guilty of speaking about my wedding. I share a small office with my boss so it is kind of hard to keep things from her. My wedding is in the fall. Out of nowhere, my boss asks if she is invited to my wedding and it completely caught me off guard. I was like umm, I didn't have you but sure. Mind you, she knows how much this is costing which isn't cheap. I never thought people would ask to invite them. So weird to me and I feel lately like I am in the twilight zone. How do I tell her I can't invite her? By the way, she is leaving the company in the summer which is a few months before the wedding. I was planning on not mentioning it but I am pretty sure it will come up. I am already not inviting some family members and I don't want to invite her because of costs and there are others I'd rather have there. HELP!
Report Reply to Post

Re: My boss thinks she's invited...

  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You've already told her yes to her face. To not invite her now would be pretty rude. Sure, you can just not send her an invite. But IMO it's best to not burn bridges. What kind of industry do you work in? It is possible to run into her again at another job? 
    Report Reply
  • flutteringinflflutteringinfl member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    climbingwife said:

    You've already told her yes to her face. To not invite her now would be pretty rude. Sure, you can just not send her an invite. But IMO it's best to not burn bridges. What kind of industry do you work in? It is possible to run into her again at another job? 

    This. You weren't under any obligation to invite her before, but now that she expects an invite, if she doesn't get one it could spell trouble down the road.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    image
    Report Reply
  • littlepeplittlepep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    You've already verbally invited her so you are pretty committed at this point. I agree with Climbing that it could burn bridges with her to not invite her now. 

    In the future, if people ask about your wedding your wedding you need to change the subject. And if someone asks if they can come you need to say that unfortunately you weren't able to invite everyone and then change the subject. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image
    Report Reply
  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Yeah, your first mistake was talking about the wedding with people who aren't invited. That's why she thought she was invited.

    You don't talk about any event with people who have the potential to be invited but aren't. That's a basic social rule.

    You gotta suck it up and send her an invite now! Maybe now you know better. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

    Report Reply
  • novella1186novella1186 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I agree with PP advice. Also, be prepared for this to happen again and practice saying No. "I'm sorry but we weren't able to invite everyone we would have liked" and then change the subject. 

    It's too late to use this on your boss since you already told her yes. But people can be very rude/presumptuous and she may not be the last person to ask you about an invite. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • redheadbride15redheadbride15 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    I have had at least 10 coworkers, including my boss, ask if they would be invited to my wedding. It's not that I have been actively talking about it at work, but I have shared details about the planning if they ask me directly, and it's a small office so word spreads quickly.

    I developed a canned answer "I'm sorry but it's going to be a really small event with just our immediate family", which is sort of a half-truth but it's worked out fine so far.
    Report Reply
  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    Lots of people will ask you this. Is it rude? Yup. Will they do it anyway? Yup. 

    All you can control is your own responses and behavior. If you verbally tell people they're invited, then it's super rude to later not invite them. I get that you were taken off guard here, but now you're obligated to invite her. Sorry. Just don't let it happen again.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    Report Reply
  • futuremrshpfuturemrshp member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    loveislouder said:


    Knottie20336302 said:

    Yes, I am guilty of speaking about my wedding. I share a small office with my boss so it is kind of hard to keep things from her. My wedding is in the fall. Out of nowhere, my boss asks if she is invited to my wedding and it completely caught me off guard. I was like umm, I didn't have you but sure. Mind you, she knows how much this is costing which isn't cheap. I never thought people would ask to invite them. So weird to me and I feel lately like I am in the twilight zone. How do I tell her I can't invite her? By the way, she is leaving the company in the summer which is a few months before the wedding. I was planning on not mentioning it but I am pretty sure it will come up. I am already not inviting some family members and I don't want to invite her because of costs and there are others I'd rather have there. HELP!

    Why does she know how much it's costing?
    This.  And because she knew it'd be a nice affair, might have been why she was asking if she was invited!  :) 
    Sorry.  And try not to offer up a lot of information when people ask you how the wedding planning is coming along, either.  That's another sort of trap that you have to be aware of.  Yeah you want to be excited but be excited with your FI and other people that are for sure coming/invited.
    Report Reply
  • madamerwinmadamerwin member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    1. Do not talk about your wedding around people who are not invited to your wedding. In fact, keep wedding talk to a minimum in general... It's likely that most people really don't want to hear every detail.
    2. Practice your response to this question before anyone asks it. (Ex: "We have not finalized the guest list yet"/"We are keeping it small"/"We are not sure if we will be able to invite everyone we would like to invite" etc.)

    That said, now that you told her she was invited, you have to invite her.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards