The most demanding birthday invite ever...

emmaaa · April 2015

I came across this on my Facebook:

http://myfox8.com/2015/04/17/is-this-the-most-demanding-birthday-invitation-ever/

http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/32vltg/most_demanding_1st_birthday_invite_ever/

This must be a child of a former (and current) SS.

KatieinBkln · April 2015

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE.

Kahlyla · April 2015

Seven hells.

flutteringinfl · April 2015

Yesterday my coworker and I were snarking on her bf's nephew's upcoming 1st birthday. They've rented a food truck and have a registry. I think I'm going to send this to her.

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

It's hard to even believe these types of people are real. I mean, did she have NO second thoughts before sending some bullshit like that? Is she really that isolated socially where she'd think it would be well received?

blabla89 · April 2015

Seriously though...that sounds like something my FSIL might do. After her egregious baby shower invitations I wouldn't put it past her.

kvruns · April 2015

my favorite part was complaining that when they return items they only get 50% of value and thus can't buy as much formula with it.

have a strange feeling this invite went out to like 50 people too so they can stock their kitchen cabinets a bit more

sarahufl · April 2015

What is wrong with people!?

novella1186 · April 2015

kvruns said:
my favorite part was complaining that when they return items they only get 50% of value and thus can't buy as much formula with it.

have a strange feeling this invite went out to like 50 people too so they can stock their kitchen cabinets a bit more

The bolded made me think she specifically wants gifts with high value that are easy to return so she can pocket the money herself. (Also, no personalized gifts? No books?) Sounds like she just wants to cash in.

KatieinBkln · April 2015

kvruns said:
my favorite part was complaining that when they return items they only get 50% of value and thus can't buy as much formula with it.

have a strange feeling this invite went out to like 50 people too so they can stock their kitchen cabinets a bit more

This was also the most upsetting to me. When people buy you gifts, they are buying them in good faith, with the thought that you/your child will enjoy that gift. They aren't giving you free currency to exchange for whatever else you may want more.

It's been said over and over on these threads, (most recently by @MagicInk I think?) that if you get gifts you don't like/can't use, you can donate them to charity.

Give the damn board books to a disadvantaged kid who otherwise might not be read to. Some other kid named Dexton probably has a mother who isn't of the (ridiculously misinformed!) opinion that "personalized clothes are the #1 cause of abductions." Stop being an entitled ingrate, shut your mouth, and take the minivan out to Goodwill.

littlepep · April 2015

I really really want to believe this isn't real.

FiancB · April 2015

novella1186 said:

show previous quotes
kvruns said:
my favorite part was complaining that when they return items they only get 50% of value and thus can't buy as much formula with it.

have a strange feeling this invite went out to like 50 people too so they can stock their kitchen cabinets a bit more
The bolded made me think she specifically wants gifts with high value that are easy to return so she can pocket the money herself. (Also, no personalized gifts? No books?) Sounds like she just wants to cash in.

I didn't think of that. I was just all whaaaa with the kidnapping thing.

This shit is ridiculous regarding any birthday, but especially first birthdays.

redheadbride15 · April 2015

Haha. I'd attend this party by showing up at the front door with a giant grin on my face and a monogrammed backpack full of board books and no receipts. I'd give the baby a kiss ('cause come on, its not his fault), and then shuffle back out the door as quickly as possible.

thisismynickname2 · April 2015

"2 items total per household."

Is this in response to overly generous close family? Are they just getting bombarded with stuff that they feel the need to limit what they receive? Did the writer get bombarded with, "What should we get little Timmy for his big birthday!?" to feel the need to write this?

I mean... WHY?

novella1186 · April 2015

thisismynickname said:
"2 items total per household."

Is this in response to overly generous close family? Are they just getting bombarded with stuff that they feel the need to limit what they receive? Did the writer get bombarded with, "What should we get little Timmy for his big birthday!?" to feel the need to write this?

I mean... WHY?

Wasn't this originally posted by a coworker or something, though? Or maybe I misread. I'm super tired today so I feel like my reading comprehension could be way off.

blabla89 · April 2015

My favorite comment from Reddit:

Cordial invitation to Little Timmy's birthday party

WHEREAS the named parties (hereinafter referred to as "the Invitees")
are hereby ordered to appear at the son Timothy's (hereinafter referred
to as "the Baby") party (hereinafter referred to as "the Event"),
accompanied by any dependents ("the Dependents") of suitable age, at
12:43:00 CDT at the aforementioned address.

Invitees are expected to make all reasonable efforts to arrive at the
time stated. Failure to comply with the stated time may result in
forfeiture of other contractual rights herein contained.

Each party of Invitees shall bring with them on their person a
minimum of 1 (one) gift ("the Gift/s"), suitably wrapped, selected with
strict reference to the explicit instructions given in Appendix II
(despatched by e-mail at 17:09:22 CDT on 12th April 2015). Said Gift/s
shall be rendered immediately to the possession of the Baby's parents
("the Parents") acting in parentis to the Baby per the custom and federal statutes pertaining to Parental Responsibility.

Any property thus imparted by receipt of said Gift is thus the
absolute possession of the Parents, who will render the Gift or a
monetary value thus recuperated from the property in the best interests
of family and Baby. Invitees must therefore provide invoices and
receipts to facilitate the recuperation of monetary value from the
originating retailer.

Dependents of Invitees are at all times expected to behave with the
decorum fitting such an occasion. Any unreasonable behaviour of said
Dependents including, but not limited to, spitting up, gurgling, crying,
soiling of diapers, throwing of comestibles and/or beverages shall
result in immediate forfeiture of this contractual agreement.

A parking fee may be applied at the discretion of the Parents.

Any deviation from the terms of the contract heretofore stated shall
render the terms null and void. The Invitees will thus be ineligible for
receipt of relevant soda, Jell-O, cake, balloons, nor further
invitations to subsequent Events.

I agree to the Terms and Conditions thus stated:

Signed _____________________________ Date _________

flutteringinfl · April 2015

Instead of hinting that people should buy him "useless gifts" and include a receipt so they can return it for full price and buy formula, why not just ask for formula? It's still crass, but at least slightly less idiotic and convoluted.

sarawifenow · April 2015

Wtf....

I love how this is the pre-invitation! I wonder what the "formal invite" will be! Holy crap...

novella1186 · April 2015

sarawifenow said:
Wtf....

I love how this is the pre-invitation! I wonder what the "formal invite" will be! Holy crap...

I'm guessing this is the formal invite:

ETA: I wonder-- if the mom saw this online-- if she would seriously copy and paste it into a document and use it

blabla89 said:
My favorite comment from Reddit:

Cordial invitation to Little Timmy's birthday party

WHEREAS the named parties (hereinafter referred to as "the Invitees")
are hereby ordered to appear at the son Timothy's (hereinafter referred
to as "the Baby") party (hereinafter referred to as "the Event"),
accompanied by any dependents ("the Dependents") of suitable age, at
12:43:00 CDT at the aforementioned address.

Invitees are expected to make all reasonable efforts to arrive at the
time stated. Failure to comply with the stated time may result in
forfeiture of other contractual rights herein contained.

Each party of Invitees shall bring with them on their person a
minimum of 1 (one) gift ("the Gift/s"), suitably wrapped, selected with
strict reference to the explicit instructions given in Appendix II
(despatched by e-mail at 17:09:22 CDT on 12th April 2015). Said Gift/s
shall be rendered immediately to the possession of the Baby's parents
("the Parents") acting in parentis to the Baby per the custom and federal statutes pertaining to Parental Responsibility.

Any property thus imparted by receipt of said Gift is thus the
absolute possession of the Parents, who will render the Gift or a
monetary value thus recuperated from the property in the best interests
of family and Baby. Invitees must therefore provide invoices and
receipts to facilitate the recuperation of monetary value from the
originating retailer.

Dependents of Invitees are at all times expected to behave with the
decorum fitting such an occasion. Any unreasonable behaviour of said
Dependents including, but not limited to, spitting up, gurgling, crying,
soiling of diapers, throwing of comestibles and/or beverages shall
result in immediate forfeiture of this contractual agreement.

A parking fee may be applied at the discretion of the Parents.

Any deviation from the terms of the contract heretofore stated shall
render the terms null and void. The Invitees will thus be ineligible for
receipt of relevant soda, Jell-O, cake, balloons, nor further
invitations to subsequent Events.

I agree to the Terms and Conditions thus stated:

Signed _____________________________ Date _________

permalink
parent

JCbride2015 · April 2015

blabla89 said:
My favorite comment from Reddit:

Cordial invitation to Little Timmy's birthday party

WHEREAS the named parties (hereinafter referred to as "the Invitees")
are hereby ordered to appear at the son Timothy's (hereinafter referred
to as "the Baby") party (hereinafter referred to as "the Event"),
accompanied by any dependents ("the Dependents") of suitable age, at
12:43:00 CDT at the aforementioned address.

Invitees are expected to make all reasonable efforts to arrive at the
time stated. Failure to comply with the stated time may result in
forfeiture of other contractual rights herein contained.

Each party of Invitees shall bring with them on their person a
minimum of 1 (one) gift ("the Gift/s"), suitably wrapped, selected with
strict reference to the explicit instructions given in Appendix II
(despatched by e-mail at 17:09:22 CDT on 12th April 2015). Said Gift/s
shall be rendered immediately to the possession of the Baby's parents
("the Parents") acting in parentis to the Baby per the custom and federal statutes pertaining to Parental Responsibility.

Any property thus imparted by receipt of said Gift is thus the
absolute possession of the Parents, who will render the Gift or a
monetary value thus recuperated from the property in the best interests
of family and Baby. Invitees must therefore provide invoices and
receipts to facilitate the recuperation of monetary value from the
originating retailer.

Dependents of Invitees are at all times expected to behave with the
decorum fitting such an occasion. Any unreasonable behaviour of said
Dependents including, but not limited to, spitting up, gurgling, crying,
soiling of diapers, throwing of comestibles and/or beverages shall
result in immediate forfeiture of this contractual agreement.

A parking fee may be applied at the discretion of the Parents.

Any deviation from the terms of the contract heretofore stated shall
render the terms null and void. The Invitees will thus be ineligible for
receipt of relevant soda, Jell-O, cake, balloons, nor further
invitations to subsequent Events.

I agree to the Terms and Conditions thus stated:

Signed _____________________________ Date _________

permalink
parent

God, this commenter must actually be a corporate lawyer. Fuck those guys. If they just used English, litigators' jobs would be so. much. easier.

flutteringinfl said:
Instead of hinting that people should buy him "useless gifts" and include a receipt so they can return it for full price and buy formula, why not just ask for formula? It's still crass, but at least slightly less idiotic and convoluted.

Something about the mention of formula and focus on returnability of the gifts makes me think they are just fishing for cash. I'm also having a really hard time picturing a family who is struggling to afford formula at $30/week, but is somehow simultaneously drowning in so many luxurious gifts from family and friends that they have to put these rules into place. I mean, if you are having a hard time financially and yet have such generous family, wouldn't they be buying formula or giving you grocery store gift cards? Or maybe you need WIC?

madamerwin · April 2015

I would show up with some formula, and a card that says, "Since you were just going to return the gift and buy formula anyway, I thought I would save you the hassle."

But really, who is so self-important that they think they can make demands like this? Jesus.

ETA: I was using Jesus as an exclamation, not as an answer to my rhetorical question. But I guess if Jesus wrote this letter, then I'd let it slide.

daria24 · April 2015

Do 1 year old still drink formula? I certainly know a lot of 1yrs that still breast feed occasionally. But by 1 can't they have animal milk/or other milk substitutes?

Also this kid would be getting some sort of noisy personalized toy that said his/her name and I would hand it directly to the child to fall in love with, before the parent could see it. Geez lady. Way to take the joy out of giving gifts to a child.

flutteringinfl · April 2015

daria24 said:
Do 1 year old still drink formula? I certainly know a lot of 1yrs that still breast feed occasionally. But by 1 can't they have animal milk/or other milk substitutes?

Also this kid would be getting some sort of noisy personalized toy that said his/her name and I would hand it directly to the child to fall in love with, before the parent could see it. Geez lady. Way to take the joy out of giving gifts to a child.

My first thought was maybe the child has some kind of health issue or allergy? Specialized formula can be pretty pricey. But still, as much as it sucks, it's the parents' responsibility to provide that, not rely on donations or the return value of gifts.

hellosweetie1015 · April 2015

WHAT EVEN.

Guys, shoot me before I get to this level of crazy. Just, put me out of everyone else's misery.

[Deleted User] · April 2015

southernbelle0915 said:
It's hard to even believe these types of people are real. I mean, did she have NO second thoughts before sending some bullshit like that? Is she really that isolated socially where she'd think it would be well received?

Yes she is that isolated. Why do you think you have to always go to your friends' homes if they have kids and you don't?

But seriously, this is horrific.

ETF: grammar

Blergbot · April 2015

flutteringinfl said:

show previous quotes
daria24 said:
Do 1 year old still drink formula? I certainly know a lot of 1yrs that still breast feed occasionally. But by 1 can't they have animal milk/or other milk substitutes?

Also this kid would be getting some sort of noisy personalized toy that said his/her name and I would hand it directly to the child to fall in love with, before the parent could see it. Geez lady. Way to take the joy out of giving gifts to a child.
My first thought was maybe the child has some kind of health issue or allergy? Specialized formula can be pretty pricey. But still, as much as it sucks, it's the parents' responsibility to provide that, not rely on donations or the return value of gifts.

We have to buy specialty formula, and it's pricey, but not $80/week pricey. Then again, we have a newborn who eats much less (but I'm attempting to account for that in my head). I could believe $40/week, but not $80. It is odd that a one year old would not at least be supplementing with something else. But maybe the severe allergy thing?

princessofgenovia · April 2015

Guess whose getting finger paint, glitter, and a bead kit?

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

redheadbride15 said:
Haha. I'd attend this party by showing up at the front door with a giant grin on my face and a monogrammed backpack full of board books and no receipts. I'd give the baby a kiss ('cause come on, its not his fault), and then shuffle back out the door as quickly as possible.

Make sure you write a personalized note inside each one of the books!

The most demanding birthday invite ever...

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