Wedding Etiquette Forum

Who should walk you down the isle?

AschiveAschive member
Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
edited April 2015 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Should a biological parent who hasn't really been in your life too much, or a step-parent that has raised you and adopted you legally for 17 years or is it ok to want a grandparent to? Sorry if this isn't etiquette.

Who should walk you down the isle? 31 votes

Biological
9% 3 votes
Step-parent
80% 25 votes
Grandparent
9% 3 votes

Re: Who should walk you down the isle?

  •  It's up to you. In your situation I would do your step parent or grandparent.. Also, it's not a step parent if he or she adopted you. It's your legal parent. 

    Just because you are biologically related to someone doesn't mean they are your parent.
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  • Whoever you want, as long as they're willing.  There is no right or wrong answer here.



  • I didn't vote because I don't really know you and this is an extremely personal question. Probably not your bio parent if s/he hasn't been involved in your life. From what very little you've posted, I lean toward the step parent.

    You can also decide to walk alone if you'd be more comfortable that way.
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  • I would like to know why you chose that screen name, and how it's pronounced.
  • This isn't a general "should" kind of question.  It's a personal choice and totally up to the bride.  Or the groom, for that matter.  Fi is close with his mom and his mom will be walking him down the aisle-- or he is escorting her to her seat?  Whatever you call it, he wanted to honor his mom, so he's doing that.  I only have one dad in my life so it was an easy choice for me, but some people choose to have their mom walk them, or a sibling, or friend.

    Walking alone is also a totally valid option.  This is one of the few circumstances where I would advise, "you do you."
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Anyone you want can walk you down the aisle. You shouldn't have to justify your choice to anyone, but if you do, I would say, "I am close to < >, and that is who I have chosen to walk me down the aisle. Have you seen Insurgent yet?"
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Anyone you want, or go by your self. 

  • Any of the above is acceptable.
  • I would like to know why you chose that screen name, and how it's pronounced.

    DON'T do a google image search of ass chive. 

    Also, OP, are you getting married on an island?  'Cause that's fuckin sweet.

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  • I didn't vote because I don't really know you and this is an extremely personal question. Probably not your bio parent if s/he hasn't been involved in your life. From what very little you've posted, I lean toward the step parent.

    You can also decide to walk alone if you'd be more comfortable that way.

    Ditto all of this.
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  • Depends on the beach.
  • Turtles.

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                                     Wedding Countdown Ticker

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  • Thanks, I just wanted to see I'd anyone else was in this situation. My screen name is my first initial which is A (Alicia) and Schive (like dive but with a sh sound? Lol) is most of my last name. A lot of my college stuff used that so I just kept it. I AM TOTALLY HAVING A TURTLE WALK ME DOWN! THAT WOULD BE EPIC! Thanks for the correction on aisle. I thought it looked funny. Unfortunately, I am not getting married on an island :( probably will be in a local park. I have not seen Insurgent. It looks good though!
  • I didn't vote bc my answer is - whoever you feel closest to. 
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  • I haven't seen or heard from my biological father since 1989. My step-father is walking me down the aisle. He has helped my mother raise me since I was six years old. He's the only father I have ever really known. I didn't even think twice about it. My step-father earned that right and my biological father gave away that right. Sounds like yours did too. Do not trouble your mind with a person who let you down like that.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • ASS CHIVE.

    Ahem, anyway. Whomever you want, or no one. It truly does not matter.
  • No wrong answer here.  Whoever you want!  Personally, I like when brides/grooms walk together.  But do what you want!

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  • If my father was alive, I likely would have walked down the aisle by myself. I never liked the idea of "being given away". And my father and I were super close. 

    But he died when I was 17, and I knew walking down the aisle alone would make OTHER people be all like "poor her!!!" and I didn't want to deal with that (you can't control other people), so I asked my brother to walk me down the aisle. He's only a year older than me, and we were raised more like twins. But it just felt right to me.

    So obviously, my vote is to do it the way you feel is right, and also the way you feel will feel the least uncomfortable on that day. More than one thing should factor into the decision. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Like PPs, I think it should be the arrangement that works best for you. It sounds like that would be, in your case, your stepparent.
  • My step father is walking my sister down the aisle in November and walking me down the aisle next December. We both agree that he's the one who we want to give us away. We both are willing to have two father-daughter dances, though, so both our biological father and step father have that moment with us. We have also both agreed that if our biological father dislikes the arrangement, he can opt not to come. I doubt that, though. We have an older half sister we weren't raised with who had her step father walk her down the aisle, and there wasn't too much drama. I suspect everything will go relatively smoothly.





  • fyrchkfyrchk member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    If you were adopted, he isn't your stepfather. Legally, he's your father. But, I understand where you are coming from. My dad adopted me when I turned 18 so I wouldn't have to deal with my bio-father's permission bullshit. However, my bio-father (or sperm donor) hasn't been in my life since my parent's got divorced when I was 6. So, you can imagine how blown away I was when I was talking wedding stuff with my dad and he asked if I was sure I wanted him to walk me down the aisle instead of bio. My response was that he's my dad. He's been there for me throwing up in the middle of the night, crying over boys, crying over skinned knees, teaching me how to be a good person, and loving me as if I were his own. He cried, I cried, we drank some booze and bio-father can kiss my fat ass.
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