Chit Chat

How much of your name can you change?

The new DH is looking to change his name, but we're not quite sure what is and is not permitted as far as post-marriage name change. Ideally he wants to take my last name and also change his middle name to something different (the latter just for personal reasons)

Is that kosher to do during this process or would it require him to go through the normal name-change process with a hearing, etc? I don't want to fill out all the paperwork and mail it in only to hear back in several weeks that it wasn't ok'd.

Just to pull out a random fake name example, it would be like him making a change from John Mark Wilson to John Edward Gaines (for the purposes of this example, my last is Gaines, of course).

I know the laws get a little wonky with same-sex copules depending on the state, but I believe, in Illinois, it operates the same way that opposite-sex marriage/name change process works.

Re: How much of your name can you change?

  • I'm pretty sure you can do it however you want. The process of changing your name is the same whether you're doing it for marriage or other reasons. I dropped my middle name and changed it to my maiden name, and took DH's last name. 
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  • The new DH is looking to change his name, but we're not quite sure what is and is not permitted as far as post-marriage name change. Ideally he wants to take my last name and also change his middle name to something different (the latter just for personal reasons)


    Is that kosher to do during this process or would it require him to go through the normal name-change process with a hearing, etc? I don't want to fill out all the paperwork and mail it in only to hear back in several weeks that it wasn't ok'd.

    Just to pull out a random fake name example, it would be like him making a change from John Mark Wilson to John Edward Gaines (for the purposes of this example, my last is Gaines, of course).

    I know the laws get a little wonky with same-sex copules depending on the state, but I believe, in Illinois, it operates the same way that opposite-sex marriage/name change process works.
     I want to make sure I understand this correctly. Your husband wants to take your last name and also change his middle name? I know in Massachusetts either a man or a woman can change their name with just a marriage license. I think not all states allow a man to do it as easily as a woman (so sexist). 

    The complicated part might be completely changing his middle name. You'll have to look at the name changing rules in your state.
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  • I would honestly recommend talking to a lawyer with a free consultation to find out exactly what the law allows. Changing the middle name to something not-his-"maiden"-last-name may not be allowed in the process of marriage. It might be, but I don't know for sure. It depends on the laws in your state/province/other political division type.

    In my state, for anything other than what's allowed through a marriage, you have to go in front of a judge. But the forms are all online to do it, so there's no need to actually go through a lawyer that I know of. I just recommend it to know what's allowed / what's not under marriage laws versus legal name change laws, and having a lawyer's help is never a bad idea in the court system.

    I honestly have no idea if my state currently allows the man to change his name in a marriage. I'm sure laws are changing soon, since the expectation is that marriage rights are going to be opened up to all as opposed to heterosexual couples soon (at least, last I heard). I'm in a state that is very big on the idea of "traditional" marriage though, at least politically, so it would shock me if they are even progressive enough to allow the man to change his name through marriage.
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  • Can you call or go to your local SS office to ask? I'm fairly certain the middle name change is not going to be an option without a judge okaying it, unless he is just dropping the middle and moving his last there.
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  • If I recall correctly, our application had us write what EACH party's new name(s) will be, so I think DH has just as much opportunity to change his name as I did. But this may vary by state.

    I think the only name that I couldn't change via that form was my first name. But I changed my middle (and obviously my last) name with it.

  • 3 words: Metta World Peace. 

    If he can change his full name to that, I think your DH can change any part of his name. 

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  • 3 words: Metta World Peace. 


    If he can change his full name to that, I think your DH can change any part of his name. 
    A name-change by marriage process is a little different than a court petitioned name change though.
  • Yeah, this is one of those times where you should've typed your question into google instead of TK.  Don't worry, I did the leg work for you.  Here:

    http://www.dmv.org/il-illinois/changing-your-name.php




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  • Yeah, this is one of those times where you should've typed your question into google instead of TK.  Don't worry, I did the leg work for you.  Here:

    http://www.dmv.org/il-illinois/changing-your-name.php

    Unforutnately, that's not what I was looking for. It's specifically about changing a middle name when it's not the maiden name.

    What I know for certain is the last name change will be kosher, but info on the middle namen (in this kind of situation) is sorely lacking online. Seems like the best bet will be to call the SS office. 

    PS

    This is the first time I've asked a question on this forum, and I appreciate you guys taking the time to answer and help me out.
  • Yeah, this is one of those times where you should've typed your question into google instead of TK.  Don't worry, I did the leg work for you.  Here:

    http://www.dmv.org/il-illinois/changing-your-name.php

    Unforutnately, that's not what I was looking for. It's specifically about changing a middle name when it's not the maiden name.

    What I know for certain is the last name change will be kosher, but info on the middle namen (in this kind of situation) is sorely lacking online. Seems like the best bet will be to call the SS office. 

    PS

    This is the first time I've asked a question on this forum, and I appreciate you guys taking the time to answer and help me out.
    The link says to change it on your license, you have to first change it with the SSA.  To do that, you need proof of name change, which can be a marriage license, divorce decree, or court order.  So now you have to find out if you'll be able to use the marriage license (assuming you're having a legal marriage) or a court order.  Here is another link that looks like it might have what you're looking for:

    http://www.illinoislegalaid.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.dsp_content&contentID=5117&zipcode=61540&criteria=name change&print=yes

    I wasn't trying to be a mean bitch in my first post.  There are just an exhausting number of questions here on chit chat that a bunch of random people spread across states, countries, and continents aren't equipped to answer.  You might try your local board as well. 




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  • Stick around OP. What's your favorite cheese? How do you feel about mayonnaise? 
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