I had my dress viewing tonight. I almost didn't even schedule one, because I thought I'd just wait until my first fitting (my shop is a long-ish drive away, and the viewings have to be on weeknights, which is kind of a pain). But my co-worker pointed out, "don't you want to make sure it's the right dress? That the quality looks the same as the sample?" And so I went. I didn't bring a friend or anything, because 7:00 on a weeknight (during a snowstorm, no less) is inconvenient. I really didn't think tonight would be that big of a deal. I ended up wishing I'd brought someone for support.
I loved my dress when I tried it on shopping a few months ago... it had some fit issues due to it being a sample. The sales person said, "think how incredible it will be when it's in your proper size!" I was sold, and happy with my purchase. I've paid the first half installment. I've also lost a few pounds, 5 or 10, so I was pretty excited to see how this dress would look.
When I tried it on I was... let down. I felt like I looked really big. Nothing was wrong with the dress, it was the correct dress, the quality was as expected and nothing was wrong with it. I guess I thought having the "correct" size would resolve some of the fit issues I had. It's an A-line dress with a very fitted waist, but this time I felt it made my stomach/hips look bulging beneath the waistband, and my boobs look a little squished and too cleavage-y.I have big boobs. I felt that overall, I looked a little squeezed into it. I had expected that, if anything, the size would be on the bigger side and they'd take it in to fit me (that's what I've always heard). But in reality, the bodice felt snug. I can't imagine how it would have been if I hadn't lost those 5 or 10 - it might not have even zipped, and there would have been tears in the dressing room. The sales woman (who was very nice and absolutely supportive) told me, "the fit is a bride's dream, it's perfect! You're so lucky, you'll hardly need any alterations to the bodice." She also took a few pics for me on my phone, and I wasn't very happy with how I looked in the pics.
She also said, "I think you're being really critical of yourself, not the dress -- you look amazing!" Other sales people kept passing by and saying the same thing, but that's their job! But I didn't feel amazing. I had fun trying on veils and hairpieces and such, and made it out of there ok. But when I got home, there were some tears. The first non-joy tears of this wedding experience. I can't tell if this is my mental state and being overly critical of myself (there is a TON of pressure to look great, also I've got some PMS and work stress happening), or if I've made a bad choice with my dress. My wedding is 90 days away and this dress is half paid for. I loved it when I bought it (but it was the sample with a bit of imagination in play picturing the right size). Tonight, she suggested I add a slight petticoat thing to make it more of an A-line (to less emphasize my tummy and love handles that showed through), which definitely helped. I paid another $100 to order the thing.
Sometimes it's hard to know if I'm stuck in my own head and just being critical of my body, in which case no other dress would fix that. It's very stressful to strip down to nearly naked and let some stranger dress you. The salesgirl was a very tiny blonde and I'm a size 14. I kept wishing I could have a more average-size person come stand next to me for comparison, because I felt huge. Or, is it not a mental thing, is this dress really wrong/too small? And if that's the case, what could I do at this point?
I don't know. I just expected to come home tonight feeling great and excited, but instead I feel bad about myself (as if my weight loss was inconsequential and I'll never look good enough) and scared that I'm going to look bad on my wedding day. I also dread telling my mom about this because my parents are paying for this dress and I would hate to admit I didn't like it after I swore that it was "the one." She called tonight and I didn't pick up. I was exhausted and I knew I would cry if I talked to her. On top of the fitting, I had to drive home in a snowstorm and was pretty on edge. When my fiance tried to talk to me I got choked up and told him I didn't want to go down that road. I came here instead!
Has this happened to anyone else? Will it be different once I get the alterations going? I would just appreciate some support.