How to incorporate sister / 13 year old cousin?

kelseyweiss · April 2015

So me and my fiancé are not having a wedding party at all...personal preference. I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate my 13 year old (female) cousin in our wedding because I am and always have been very close with her. I have one sister who will be doing a reading for us. I can't figure out how to include my cousin in a way that shows her I want her there and not pawning her off just to be a guest book attendant or something...she's also at that age where it's iffy to make her a flower girl because 1) she may feel awkward doing that and 2) my own sister has a hard time coming to terms with not being in my wedding and making my cousin my flower girl may make her feel (even more) un-included if I have one member in my wedding and it isn't her (my sister's feelings are important to me, so please don't write it off say something like "she can get over it").

ANY ideas on how to [better] include my sister / my cousin without doing a bridal party?

Lulawife · April 2015

You don't necessarily have to include them in the ceremony in some way to make them feel special. Are you having your hair and makeup done before the wedding? Maybe invite them to join you. I know my 13 year old cousins would love a chance to get pampered before a special event. Or you could get them small meaningful gifts to give them before the wedding. Maybe a necklace or a bracelet that will remind them of you. Or even just write a heartfelt card or letter expressing what it means to you for them to be there on your wedding day. Lots of options!

littlepep · April 2015

The only way to incorporate people into your wedding is to have them stand up for you in your bridal party or do a reading. There really aren't other positions. 13 is way too old to be a flower girl.

emoc625's recommendation of having them join you while you get ready.

Jen4948 · April 2015

A kid who's too old to be a flower girl can be a bridesmaid or do a reading. And they can get ready with you.

I'd talk to them and their parents and work something out.

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

Invite them to get mani/pedis. Or if you're getting hair/make up done, invite them to that. (Talk to their parents first if you aren't planning on paying for it.)

Or what if they split the reading? Like walked up together, your sister does the first part, cousin does the second part?