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Dresses: Men vs. Women

My fiancé told me last night that he had heard somewhere that the wedding dress is often more to impress other women attending the wedding and not so much the groom/other men. I think this is true to some degree- thoughts?

Re: Dresses: Men vs. Women

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    What?

    When I was a bride the only person I was trying to 'impress' with my dress was my H.

  • In general everything I wear, whether it's clothes or jewelry or makeup or how I do my hair, is for my pleasure before anyone else's, male or female. Gender generalizations suck, for the record.
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    chibiyuidoeydopinupbride6189
  • My fiancé told me last night that he had heard somewhere that the wedding dress is often more to impress other women attending the wedding and not so much the groom/other men. I think this is true to some degree- thoughts?

    What the? I don't know any bride who bought her dress in order to impress female guests. Like literally not one person. 

    100% of the people I know bought their wedding dress because they liked it and it made them feel beautiful.

    Who are these people that your FI knows?
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  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    My fiancé told me last night that he had heard somewhere that the wedding dress is often more to impress other women attending the wedding and not so much the groom/other men. I think this is true to some degree- thoughts?

    Impress other women??... I'm the fucking bride. Nobody will upstage me on that day. And if I'm dressing to impress other men besides my groom... Marriage = you're doing it wrong.

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  • I bought my wedding dress for ME. It made me feel beautiful and it was my selfish,yet well deserved item that I wanted for myself. The only other person that I truly care to impress is the handsome man at the end of the aisle waiting for me (seriously though, I hope he likes my dress).

    Why would I buy a dress just to impress the other women at my wedding? Petty competition, much?
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  • edited April 2015
    I think he's right. Blah blah blah, we choose things for ourselves. Sure we do, consciously. Unconsciously, not everyone's that confident. 

    I know that I care about 0% what any man besides my fiance thinks of how I dress or do my hair or apply my makeup. And I only care about 15% what he thinks, because he thinks I'm beautiful in sweats ugly-crying at made-for-TV movies. So clearly he loves me and also maybe he needs his eyes checked.

    The rest of how I decide to dress is a mix of how much time I have, how much effort I want to expend, what I want to look like, and what other women will think. Will my friends be impressed if I get manage to do winged eyeliner and get both eyes perfectly symmetrical? Maybe! This isn't restricted to wedding gowns, it's just all the time, and it's not something I ever think about until someone asks a question like this. I have had friends apologize to me for showing up to coffee dates in sweats; I absolutely did not mind even a little bit, but clearly she cared what I thought.

    Anyway. Yes. We choose our wedding gowns according to what makes us feel beautiful, and an unconscious part of that is what other women will think of us wearing it.

    Edit: If we did not care what other women thought of our wedding gowns, we would not ask strange women on the internet to answer polls about which dress looks better. But we do.
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  • minttobemrsbminttobemrsb member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2015
    I think he's right. Blah blah blah, we choose things for ourselves. Sure we do, consciously. Unconsciously, not everyone's that confident. 


    I know that I care about 0% what any man besides my fiance thinks of how I dress or do my hair or apply my makeup. And I only care about 15% what he thinks, because he thinks I'm beautiful in sweats ugly-crying at made-for-TV movies. So clearly he loves me and also maybe he needs his eyes checked.

    The rest of how I decide to dress is a mix of how much time I have, how much effort I want to expend, what I want to look like, and what other women will think. Will my friends be impressed if I get manage to do winged eyeliner and get both eyes perfectly symmetrical? Maybe! This isn't restricted to wedding gowns, it's just all the time, and it's not something I ever think about until someone asks a question like this. I have had friends apologize to me for showing up to coffee dates in sweats; I absolutely did not mind even a little bit, but clearly she cared what I thought.

    Anyway. Yes. We choose our wedding gowns according to what makes us feel beautiful, and an unconscious part of that is what other women will think of us wearing it.

    Edit: If we did not care what other women thought of our wedding gowns, we would not ask strange women on the internet to answer polls about which dress looks better. But we do.
    * boxes *

    I think most of the people who post about which dress looks better didn't have that "ahha" moment. Some people simply don't get sentimental about dresses and just want an honest opinion about which fit or style is best. I love giving my opinion and voting for dresses when asked, but I don't look at that as them buying that dress to impress me though. 

    I get where you are going, though. I'm sure we all want for everyone to like our dresses. 
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2015

    My fiancé told me last night that he had heard somewhere that the wedding dress is often more to impress other women attending the wedding and not so much the groom/other men. I think this is true to some degree- thoughts?

    Historically, the wedding dress was to impress guests with the family's wealth!  Weddings were often arranged by the families, and the bride's family wanted to make an impressive show when they married off their daughter.  Nobody really cared what the bridal couple thought.

    Today's brides choose their dresses to please themselves, often reflecting on childhood fantasies and Disney movies.  (Sigh!)  I was just happy to find a wedding gown that fit and was pretty and affordable.
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    doeydo
  • I chose my dress because I liked it and because I knew that my FH would like it. I honestly do not care what my guests or any other woman thinks about it. I like it, my FH will like it and that's all that matters.

    That said, I know there are people who do dress to impress others. So I'd have to say that the statement is true if the qualifier that some people do it, not all people.

  • What?


    When I was a bride the only person I was trying to 'impress' with my dress was my H.

    Totally agree with this statement. I was married twice. My ex-husband liked dresses that showed off my shoulders so I got an off-the-shoulder gown even though it wasn't in style 25 years ago. When I married my current husband in 2001, I wore a spaghetti strap sheath that showed some cleavage because that's what He liked. I didn't wear either gown to impress any female guests.
  • tojaitojai member
    10 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary
    When I ask people for the Internet for their opinions on things, it's not really because I want another *woman's* opinion, I just want the opinion of a stranger who isn't biased and won't sugercoat.

    I mean yes people ask for opinions on their dresses but I've never seen one person say "this poll is only for women." 

    Some people are more confident than others but extrapolating one woman's opinion to "we" as if it represents all of womanhood seems ... a bit much. 

    All that said, I wore a dress I already owned and the only person whose opinion I cared about was DH.  In fact I distinctly recall FIL's wife making a nasty comment about it and not caring a bit what she thought.
  • When I buy clothing for my daughter, who lives 2000 miles away, I try to find a young person about her coloring and build and ask their. opinion.  I don't want to enforce3 my old lady taste on my daughter.  When I used to buy gifts for my late mother, I would look for a little old lady that resembled her and ask for an opinion before I bought something.  This has been a successful shopping tactic.
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    Um, seriously? When I buy anything, including my wedding dress, it's because I like the way it looks on me. I don't need to impress or show off to anyone. But you know, I'm a confident woman. And I think saying that women only dress to show off to other women is pretty fucking sexist and I don't like it. 

    PamBeesly524southernbelle0915
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    Um, seriously? When I buy anything, including my wedding dress, it's because I like the way it looks on me. I don't need to impress or show off to anyone. But you know, I'm a confident woman. And I think saying that women only dress to show off to other women is pretty fucking sexist and I don't like it. 
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    climbingwife
  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think that's a silly thought. 

    I bought my wedding dress because I loved it. End of story. 
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  • There was me reading the title and getting ready to say the women will probably look better in dresses but if the men want to wear them to then I say let them...


    Apparently that's not the direction this thread was going in...
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