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This may be dumb...

rnsoonrnsoon member
Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
..But I have to ask! I'd rather look dumb and have my worries squelched than not know.

You can't have a reception at a meal time without a meal. For a non-meal time reception you have to have some sort of appetizers/snacks. Is there anything wrong with offering a meal at a non-meal time? My ceremony starts at 2. That'll put the reception starting around 315-330. We are, of course, doing a cocktail "hour" with trays while pictures are being taken, but then we plan on doing BBQ/cookout stuff. Pulled pork, chicken, and sides.

Curiosity (about what knotties would say) is killing me.

Also the wedding is in BFE, so there's one hotel that's 15 minutes away. Everything else is 30. Not like I can change my venue now, but looking for words of encouragement. I am losing my mind because I feel bad. Nobody has said anything yet but I don't expect they would.

Thanks!
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Re: This may be dumb...

  • syoun1njsyoun1nj member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I don't see any problem with this. I regularly attend friends' cookouts in late afternoon/early evening. I'd much rather eat early than have a gap because a ceremony just must be at 2 but you can't have a reception until dinner time!

    The hotel also isn't a big deal. You could consider providing transportation if you want, but not necessary. Our hotel was about 25 minutes from the venue (venue also in BFE!). Adults can adult. I'd block rooms at the closest one, though (if it isn't awful) so people have the best chance of being as close as possible.
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  • saric83saric83 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    Sounds great!
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  • Liatris2010Liatris2010 mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    We had a mid-afternoon wedding and served dinner. No one complained. I think we were able to space it so that entrees came out around 5, which is still early for dinner, but reasonable. Better to serve more food than guests expect than less. Your plan is good.
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  • rnsoonrnsoon member
    Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    Thank you! That's what I was thinking about the cookout thing. That's normally when we have our cookouts. Like midday or around then. Also, we plan on going out on the town after to continue the party (spreading the word by mouth so it's not assumed we will be hosting) after the reception since its kind of early.

    Unfortunately I can't afford to do the transportation. I'm feeling very guilty about it, but I just can't. I know sometimes hotels will offer shuttles with blocks, so I'll look into that.
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Food sounds good to me

    I went to a wedding last summer on Lake Michigan that also was kind of in BFE. I think there was a small bed and breakfast 10 or 15 min away but the majority of hotels were 20 min away. It sucked for me as the Driver knowing I had a bit of a drive but really that happens all the time since you don't always stay in a hotel when u attend a wedding
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Most of the weddings in my family were afternoon weddings.    Every single one of them had full meals, alcohol and tons of dancing.

    They are pretty much standard in my family.      My friends are day drinkers (hello tailgating, boating trips, etc.)  We all like to do cookouts too.  I would say most of the cookouts started mid-afternoon.  Meaning we would eat between 3-5.    

    I really do not understand people who think it is an issue.  


    I don't think  your location is a big deal either.







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Not dumb at all. My wedding is around the same time as yours and we are serving dinner. Like Liatris said, better more food than less!
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    There is never anything wrong with hosting more food than etiquette requires. Sounds good to me!
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  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    No problem there! However, if you are having alcohol and a late night I suggest a heavier snack around nine or so.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    That's what we did!   Ceremony was at 2 and ended at about 3:15 (mom's cousin is a Catholic priest and he talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and THEN he performed the marriage ceremony during the Mass).   The reception started at 4 and dinner was served by about 5:30/6.   That wasn't all that early anyway and it's the time we'll often eat for holidays.

    We also did not do a snack at 9 although at 11 when we were hanging out in the hotel bar, some friends ran for Taco Bell.   The idea of eating more after the ton of food we had just wasn't all that appealing and I didn't want to be flatulent on my wedding night anyway. :-) 
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  • tcnobletcnoble member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I would be happy to be served dinner at that time. Means I don't have to find dinner afterwards! You're giving your guests food... I think everyone will be fine with that! :)
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    There is nothing wrong with having more food.  Party on!


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  • CasadenaCasadena member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Totally fine!  I would do snacks/apps during a cocktail hour from 3:15-4:30sh and then have dinner right after.  If it's a buffet, it's possible that everyone may not even be through the line until 5.  I wouldn't worry about this.  And a hotel 15-30 minutes away is fine.  Even in bigger cities, I feel like we usually end up staying about that far from the venue anyway.  
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It's perfectly fine to serve a meal at a non-meal time. It's always ok to have more food, it's just bad to not have enough.

    I would suggest spreading the word that there will be a meal. We went to a wedding a few years ago at 2:00 in the afternoon. It was a casual venue and everything about the invitation suggested cake and punch, so H & I ate before hand. I was so disappointed that I missed out on what turned out to be some pretty bad ass BBQ. 
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