Bridesmaid can't make rehearsal or dinner

Re: Bridesmaid can't make rehearsal or dinner

• ShesSoCold mod

  

  March 2015

  Knottie37449466 said:

  I have a bridesmaid who informed me over text that she is not able to make the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner because her sister bought her tickets to an out-of-town concert for that night, but she told me that she would be there for the wedding. I am little hurt that she is choosing to attend a concert instead of the rehearsal and dinner, but I think I am most hurt by the fact that she told me so unapologetically via text. Having been a bridesmaid multiple times, I am well aware that it is not rocket science, and I am sure my MOH can fill her in,  but I still feel really hurt. Thoughts? Suggestions? Thanks!
  

  I suggest doing exactly what you've done - vent here, maybe to your FI and then move on. There's nothing wrong with feeling hurt, but there's also nothing wrong with her not being there. If you say something to her, you'll look petty and borderline bridezilla.  Since you've been a BM, think about it. Rehearsals typically aren't the most fun in the entire world and like you said, not rocket science. Also, the BM's sister bought her tickets - if that were me, I'd go to the concert too. 

  
  

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• lovegood90 member

  

  March 2015

  Knottie37449466 said:

  I have a bridesmaid who informed me over text that she is not able to make the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner because her sister bought her tickets to an out-of-town concert for that night, but she told me that she would be there for the wedding. I am little hurt that she is choosing to attend a concert instead of the rehearsal and dinner, but I think I am most hurt by the fact that she told me so unapologetically via text. Having been a bridesmaid multiple times, I am well aware that it is not rocket science, and I am sure my MOH can fill her in,  but I still feel really hurt. Thoughts? Suggestions? Thanks!
  

  
  
  Let it go. The rehearsal is not mandatory, and she's not being a bad friend by choosing the concert over this. The other BP members can fill her in just fine the day of the wedding. She's still going to your wedding, which is the only "mandatory" event of being a bridesmaid.

  Vent to your Fi to get your hurt feelings out in the open, then move on.
  

  Formerly martha1818

  

  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  March 2015

  Knottie37449466 said:

  I have a bridesmaid who informed me over text that she is not able to make the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner because her sister bought her tickets to an out-of-town concert for that night, but she told me that she would be there for the wedding. I am little hurt that she is choosing to attend a concert instead of the rehearsal and dinner, but I think I am most hurt by the fact that she told me so unapologetically via text. Having been a bridesmaid multiple times, I am well aware that it is not rocket science, and I am sure my MOH can fill her in,  but I still feel really hurt. Thoughts? Suggestions? Thanks!
  

  Rehearsal and rehearsal dinners are not a requirement of your wedding party.  If they can't make it then oh well.  You can fill her in or another BM can fill her in on what to do  (walk in a straight line) the day of the wedding.

  
  

  I think you just need to get over this.  She is doing nothing wrong.  She let you know ahead of time that she can't make it.  At least she just didn't just not show up without saying anything.

  
  

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• allispain member

  

  March 2015

  Knottie37449466 said:

  I have a bridesmaid who informed me over text that she is not able to make the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner because her sister bought her tickets to an out-of-town concert for that night, but she told me that she would be there for the wedding. I am little hurt that she is choosing to attend a concert instead of the rehearsal and dinner, but I think I am most hurt by the fact that she told me so unapologetically via text. Having been a bridesmaid multiple times, I am well aware that it is not rocket science, and I am sure my MOH can fill her in,  but I still feel really hurt. Thoughts? Suggestions? Thanks!
  

  Honestly, it's really not a big deal. I know your feelings are hurt, but as you yourself said, being a BM isn't rocket science. One of my BMs wasn't able to make it to our rehearsal, same with one of DH's GM. Both had their reasons for not being able to attend (one was because of work + travel time, the other was because of a friend's birthday party). It wasn't an issue - they were both there for the wedding, which is really all that matters.
  

  
  

  Regarding your friend, don't tell her that you're upset about her not attending, or complain about the manner in which she notified you - that will just come across as petty. I would just respond and tell her that you're sorry she can't make it for the rehearsal, but that you hope she enjoys the concert. 

  
  

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• Knottie37449466 member

  

  March 2015

  Thanks for the feedback!
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  March 2015

  Yea, this is one where you just wallow in your self-pity for 10 seconds and then stop worrying about it. Talking to her about it will make you look bridezilla-ish since RDs aren't required, so not much you can do here. Just focus your energy elsewhere.

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• levioosa member

  

  March 2015

  It's unfortunate, but you'll be much happier if you let it go.  Attending it isn't mandatory, and it will take about ten seconds to fill her in on the details.  

  
  

  
  

  

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• Knottie23368624 member

  

  April 2015

  I suppose I would feel the same way as you do...but as the others have said ultimately it's not a huge deal...

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