Please help-advice on dress regret

Knottie38213341 · April 2015

Please help me- I just bought my dress today on a whim and I am already starting to feel major regret. I've been searching for a dress for so long and was feeling pressured to buy because my wedding is in October and I know the timing is tight!

Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do?

Some people have said that I should sleep on it and I will feel differently in the morning, but I am almost positive that I will not feel differently. There are a number of other dresses that I have tried on that have looked way better on me.

Please help!

sarahufl · April 2015

I think the important thing to remember is it is an outfit you will wear once.

WinstonsGirl · April 2015

I didn't actually love my dress until after the first fitting, once they took it in and it fit better. Even with the sample that fit pretty well, I liked it, but didn't love it. Give it a few days. Really, if you still don't like it, you can sell it and buy a new one.

Don't worry as much about timing. Yes, it's important, but lots of people also buy dresses off the rack and month or so before and find amazing dresses.

Knottie38213341 · April 2015

Sara- does this mean it's super important to love the dress? (I guess it's kinda obvious, but just checking!).

I am thinking of selling, even though it won't even be here until September.

larrygaga · April 2015

Knottie38213341 said:
Sara- does this mean it's super important to love the dress? (I guess it's kinda obvious, but just checking!).

I am thinking of selling, even though it won't even be here until September.

I think she means that because you will only wear it once it doesn't matter as much as you think it does.

Is there anyway to cancel it? What about going through with buying this dress and coughing up the dough for another, and selling the first dress as pre-owned?

You might like it more once it has been fitted to you. Post some pictures so we can sell the good points to you!

[Deleted User] · April 2015

I think Sarah meant the opposite, and I agree. It is just a dress. It doesn't have to be this big thing that makes you cry etc.

Definitely sleep on it a few days. If it was a matter of fit, that can be altered.

ETF misspelling Sarah's name on mobile. Whoops!

sarahufl · April 2015

Sarah did mean the opposite.

I can't stand all the freak outs about dress regret. It is an outfit. You wear it once. Freaking seems like an overreaction.

JCbride2015 · April 2015

I understand Sarah's point but yes, you want to feel comfortable and happy in your dress. I would sleep on it and if you still feel that horrible, ask the shop about canceling the order or plan to sell it used once it comes in. Do you have a photo?

climbingsingle · April 2015

I had dress regret about a month before my wedding. My MOH reminded me that I picked that dress for a reason. And she was right. The feeling passed and I loved my dress.

If you really don't want it, see if they can cancel the order.

Do you have a picture to show us?

allispain · April 2015

Is your concern that you didn't have that "OMG this is the one (bursts into tears") moment? Or do you honestly think the dress doesn't flatter you?

If it's the first, a lot of brides don't have that feeling, myself included. I narrowed down to my top 3 options, and chose this one because 1) it cost about 50% what the other two did and 2) it was more comfortable to wear (much lighter fabric). The sample didn't flatter me as much as the other two did - but then when the dress came in, and alterations were complete, it was much more flattering. Did I love my dress? Eh. Maybe? I really liked it (especially post-fitting), but it's just a dress, and it's just for one day, and I honestly had no desire to try on every dress in existence, so I found one that worked for me and my pragmatic ways :-)

Also, another thought, if it's a dress that you like in terms of shape/silhouette, you can always add a belt or some other accessory to make it a bit more of what you want (if you're looking for extra detail/sparkle).

FiancB · April 2015

I kinda regretted mine. It was a bit much for the style of wedding we ended up having. I didn't hate it though, and I did look awesome, so oh well.

I don't think many people look back at their wedding pics 20 years later without laughing at the outfits. Just a dress, just a day. Stop looking at other dresses and keep in mind it will look a lot better after it's fitted for you, and you can add sleeves or a belt or whatever would make it feel more "you".

julieanne912 · April 2015

I picked mine because everyone else told me how good it looked LOL I didn't fall in love with it, and still am not 100% on it, maybe it'll change after a fitting. In the end, I know it does look nice, and it's comfortable, and it'll be here in time (I did dressing shopping in Feb for a Sept wedding). I will also say, they added a belt and veil and it did help me to feel more "bridey" in it.

Knottie38213341 · April 2015

Thanks, everyone. It wasn't that I didn't have that "burst into tears this is the one reaction"- I know that's not realistic, not for me anyway. It was that there are many other dresses that I've tried on that I know look much better on me than the one that I bought.

After sleeping on it for a day, I'm looking back on the dress, and still really not a fan. I'm posting a pic here, though for you to see. It's just not as flattering as and too high waisted than the other dresses I've tried. I really think that I made a big mistake and again- feel that a lot of it was because I felt the pressure of having to buy a dress since the wedding is close.

As far as "it's just a dress that you will wear once", I'm sorry, but I kind of disagree with your statements. Yes, it is a dress that I will only wear once, but it's also probably going to be the most expensive outfit I will ever wear. I feel that the investment warrants a good (and not hasty, like I did) decision. Anyway- just my opinion- of course the rest of you are entitled to yours.

Again, I appreciate your words and advice.

Is it possible to cancel the order even if it says no refunds on the receipt?

huskypuppy14 · April 2015

Knottie38213341 said:
Thanks, everyone. It wasn't that I didn't have that "burst into tears this is the one reaction"- I know that's not realistic, not for me anyway. It was that there are many other dresses that I've tried on that I know look much better on me than the one that I bought.

After sleeping on it for a day, I'm looking back on the dress, and still really not a fan. I'm posting a pic here, though for you to see. It's just not as flattering as and too high waisted than the other dresses I've tried. I really think that I made a big mistake and again- feel that a lot of it was because I felt the pressure of having to buy a dress since the wedding is close.

As far as "it's just a dress that you will wear once", I'm sorry, but I kind of disagree with your statements. Yes, it is a dress that I will only wear once, but it's also probably going to be the most expensive outfit I will ever wear. I feel that the investment warrants a good (and not hasty, like I did) decision. Anyway- just my opinion- of course the rest of you are entitled to yours.

Again, I appreciate your words and advice.

Is it possible to cancel the order even if it says no refunds on the receipt?

Girl, you're crazy. That dress looks great on you.

If you really don't like, then just sell it and buy another one. You probably can't return it, since it says no returns.

kvruns · April 2015

That dress looks great on you. Do you feel like it makes you look short-waisted or something? That's the only thing I can see from high waisted but I don't actually think it cuts you off at all. I love the belt and the bottom of the dress

OliveOilsMom · April 2015

I think you look awesome in that dress! It is gorgeous!

But if you don't feel good in it, then I would call the shop ASAP and ask for them to hold on the order. It is possible that the bridal salon will allow you to move your deposit to a different dress in their store, as long as they haven't placed the order yet.

monkeysip · April 2015

I don't even think it's really high waisted. I was imagining an empire waist or something. I actually think you look amazing, BUT I also know that sometimes it doesn't matter what others think. You gotta love your own dress. So you might have to just end up reselling it. But I still think its beautiful

larrygaga · April 2015

Yeah, I don't agreed that it doesn't matter what your dress looks like. You want to be happy and confident, and you can't really do that in a dress you don't like. It's not like you are throwing a big princess fit over it! I think your dress is lovely on you, but you should resell and try again if you don't like it. The only opinion that truly matters here is your own.

FiancB · April 2015

IMO I think it's beautiful. I think the non-flattering perception you have is just the dress needing to be taken in in a couple spots. But it's really pretty and I think it'll look really great on you after alterations. What is it that's bothering you? Do you have any pics of other dresses you tried on?

Most shops are pretty adamant about the no refunds thing, but maybe they'll be nice since it hasn't arrived yet. Or there's always reselling. You may be perceiving a time crunch but a lot of times I think shops just really pressure brides into ordering on the spot. It doesn't really take that long for them to come in or be altered.

Just be sure this is coming from this particular dress and not being commitment-phobic when it comes to dresses. Sometimes trying on lots of dresses is counter productive.

Blergbot · April 2015

First of all, that dress looks amazing on you.

Second, I got married in October of this past year. I ordered my dress in June and it came in plenty of time. I think that shop was just pressuring you.

They probably won't give you a refund, but as pps have mentioned, they may allow your to transfer the balance to a different dress in the same shop. Otherwise, selling it preowned is a possibility, especially if it hasn't been altered.

photokitty · April 2015

You look awesome.
If you are set on getting hamburger dress, call and see if you can cancel and put the money toward another dress at the same store.
Other options included selling the dress or losing your deposit and never picking up the dress, assuming you didn't pay the whole price.

I think you are over thinking it. But you gotta do what makes you happy, if your budget allows.

huskypuppy14 · April 2015

photokitty said:
You look awesome.
If you are set on getting hamburger dress, call and see if you can cancel and put the money toward another dress at the same store.
Other options included selling the dress or losing your deposit and never picking up the dress, assuming you didn't pay the whole price.

I think you are over thinking it. But you gotta do what makes you happy, if your budget allows.

What is a hamburger dress. I'm assuming you meant, another?

hellosweetie1015 · April 2015

That dress looks lovely on you!

However, if you aren't happy with it, giving it time is not going to help necessarily. I don't think you need to absolutely looooove the dress, but I do think you have every right to be happy with it.

I'd call the shop today or tomorrow and talk about options. If you can't return it, you can try to sell it unaltered, or maybe have a seamstress tell you what she can do with it.

I'm in October too!

Knottie38213341 · April 2015

Thank you so much, ladies.

littlepep · April 2015

The dress looks beautiful on you, but if you aren't comfortable that's all that matters. I have no idea what your store's policy is, but it's worth asking.

beachyone15 · April 2015

I personally think the dress looks great on you. And I love the waistline - I think it highlights your figure.

I liked my dress when I first bought it, but I LOVED it after it had been fitted correctly and altered how I wanted (for example, I added some lace to the top to soften the sweetheart neckline).

I do agree with you that it's the most expensive piece of clothing you'll likely buy and you'll be photographed in it. You may not love it so much that it makes you cry, but you definitely shouldn't hate it/feel unsure about it.

pinkcow13 · April 2015

I think you look gorgeous in that dress! I really like that dress. At the end of the day though, if you don't like the dress, that's what matters. The PP's have given you great advice. I do agree that you need to be happy in your dress. Yes, at the end of the day it's just an outfit. But, IDK about you, it is the most EXPENSIVE outfit I will ever wear, so I better look and feel fabulous in it.

I had some dress regret after I got mine.I think especially after I tried it on when it came in. I had gained some weight, and the dress was really boxy since it was not altered to my size. I just went to my final fitting on Friday and I love my dress. It really makes a big difference once it is altered to fit your body. I hope the bridal salon is understanding and they try to work something out with you.

levioosa · April 2015

I also am of the thought that you should at least like your dress, as it is the most expensive outfit most people will wear in their lifetime, and you'll have a plethora of pictures to prove it (ETA: Also what Larry said about feeling beautiful and confident). However, I don't buy into "THE MOMENT" that the wedding industry tries to push on us. I am not a super emotional person. Chances are, when I look for a dress, I'll be somewhere between meh, excited, and nervous at the amount of money I'm about to drop. I highly doubt I'll cry, or jump up and down for joy. That isn't me at all. So if that's usually how you are, don't feel like you've made a huge mistake just because you didn't act "the right way."

FWIW, you look beautiful in that dress. I think it looks great. But if you really do have dress regret, then PPs have given you some great advice.

Please help-advice on dress regret

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