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Will our marriage be valid in the Church?

bridetobe9995bridetobe9995 member
5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
in Catholic Weddings
Hi, all! We are getting married in the Catholic Chuch at the request of my FMIL. I am religious (though not Catholic), so I don't mind doing this. It's fine. However, will our marriage be "valid" if we do not have a full mass with our ceremony? I am baptized Catholic if that makes any difference. Thank you!
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Re: Will our marriage be valid in the Church?

  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    If a priest or deacon in good standing of the church witnesses your vows in an appropriate place, the marriage is considered valid. Whether it takes place within a mass or just a Liturgy of the Word doesn't change the status of the marriage promises. 

    The mass doesn't make the marriage. it is offered as a prayer for the marriage. 
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  • marie2785marie2785 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Answer
    If its in a church, officiated by a catholic priest or deacon, it's valid.
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    bridetobe9995 said:
    Hi, all! We are getting married in the Catholic Chuch at the request of my FMIL. I am religious (though not Catholic), so I don't mind doing this. It's fine. However, will our marriage be "valid" if we do not have a full mass with our ceremony? I am baptized Catholic if that makes any difference. Thank you!
    Hold the phone.  You and your FI need to REALLY take a step back and talk through this.  Getting married in the Catholic Church needs to be YOUR decision.  This cannot be something you do at the request of someone else.  

    Planning your wedding is a great life lesson in setting boundaries.  Start now.




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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2015
    holyguacamole79 said:
    bridetobe9995 said:
    Hi, all! We are getting married in the Catholic Chuch at the request of my FMIL. I am religious (though not Catholic), so I don't mind doing this. It's fine. However, will our marriage be "valid" if we do not have a full mass with our ceremony? I am baptized Catholic if that makes any difference. Thank you!
    Hold the phone.  You and your FI need to REALLY take a step back and talk through this.  Getting married in the Catholic Church needs to be YOUR decision.  This cannot be something you do at the request of someone else.  

    Planning your wedding is a great life lesson in setting boundaries.  Start now.

    I'm not of other faith - but can we get an AMEN!?!?!?!!!! 

    One of the questions they WILL ask during your ceremony - Have YOU come here of YOUR OWN FREE WILL?  That IS part of the ceremony whether you have a full mass or not!  This isn't a time to lie - if "No, I'm only here because of FMIL and I'm starting our marriage IN A LIE should you respond with a yes" you aren't there of your own free will.  Simple as that.  A priest will not marry you and the wedding will be called off that second if you answer the question no, which is part of why the vetting process for marriage in the Catholic Church is as rigorous as it is! 

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  • marie2785marie2785 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2015
    Not only what MesmrEwe said--there's more. The prep work for getting married in a Catholic Church can be intense, so you need to really want it to make it worthwhile. 

    Your parents and his parents (or people who have known both of you your whole life) may need to do a prenuptial witness form where they sign in the presence of a priest that your free to marry, you have multiple meetings with a priest to interview you and put together your ceremony, your pre-cana class can be anything from a full weekend day to a 6 week course depending on where you live, and most churches require you to attend weekly mass in the time leading up to the marriage. Oh, and there's mountains of other paperwork depending on your diocese.  


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  • rcher912rcher912 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Yes, your marriage will be both valid and sacramental if you go through all the hoops and have just the ceremony (no Mass).

    I think it's a bit of a leap to say that OP isn't there of her own free will. Just because she doesn't have a preference and chose to go with FMIL's preference - I mean, she could have said no, she just didn't. That was her choice.

    Yeah, just make sure you understand what Pre-Cana requirements are in your parish so that you aren't blindsided by the intensity.
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  • katiekessler123katiekessler123 member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    The answer is YES.  My husband is not Catholic, and I am.  We got married without having a full mass, like you said you may do.  The priest that marries you will walk you through all of the necessary steps.
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  • cswedding16cswedding16 member
    First Comment
    I would like a Catholic priest for our wedding but she has never had any sacraments with the Catholic Church. She has her views on religion and and does not feel she can commit to one religion i am supportive of her views as she is with mine. Is it possible to still have a Catholic priest conduct our wedding? I heard that's its possible but more of a blessing ceremony an not much more than that is this true?
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  • IrishPirate60IrishPirate60 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Are we talking two brides here? If so, no matter what your thoughts are re: religion, there's not a Roman Catholic priest who will marry you.
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