Should I have my FSIL as a bridesmaid?

Re: Should I have my FSIL as a bridesmaid?

• lovegood90 member

  

  April 2015 edited April 2015

  Elizabeth81398 said:

  Im unsure about having my FSIL as a bridesmaid. I like her and we get along but we are not close since I dont get to see her very often because she lives far away. Everyone says it should be your nearest and dearest but I feel obligated to have her in the wedding. However the catch is that she is a big girl (no harm in that at all) but I really want to have gold sparkly bridesmaid dresses and I dont think that would work well with her body style. I dont want her to feel uncomfortable either. So should I change the bridesmaid dress or have her do a reading instead? Or does anyone have any other suggestions on how I could make her feel included?

  If you're not close, don't worry about having her as a BM. If your FI wants her in, having her stand on his side is an option too. Asking her to do a reading is fine too. In terms of "including" people, wedding party, reader or guest are the only options. Either are totally fine.
  
  As for BM dresses, if you do decide to have her as a BM, you could always just choose a colour palette and style (ie gold knee length) and have them choose their own dresses.

  Formerly martha1818

  

  
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  April 2015

  If you have to ask, the answer is no. You aren't close, so why would you?

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• mikenberger member

  

  April 2015

  "Shes a big girl (nothing wrong with that) but I want a gold sparkly dress."
  
  I'm a big girl. I own a silver sparkly dress. And I rock that like a mofo. So what? Fat girls can be trendy too.
  
  You're not close to her. Don't ask her. But don't give some crap about her weight and if you should change your dress choice because she's fat and it might not look that great on her.
  
  And if you don't know her well enough to know how she would feel wearing a gold sparkly dress, she has no business being in your bridal party.

  
  

  
  

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• downtondiva member

  

  April 2015

  I personally believe that if you have to ask people on the Internet whether you should ask someone to be a bridesmaid or not, you have enough doubt that you probably shouldn't ask that person.
  

  
  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  April 2015

  If you aren't that close, don't ask her. Your FI can ask her to stand on his side, she can do a reading, or she can just be a guest.

  
  

  I do find it pretty disgusting that her weight is part of the consideration for you.  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  April 2015

  Elizabeth81398 said:

  Im unsure about having my FSIL as a bridesmaid. I like her and we get along but we are not close since I dont get to see her very often because she lives far away. Everyone says it should be your nearest and dearest but I feel obligated to have her in the wedding. However the catch is that she is a big girl (no harm in that at all) but I really want to have gold sparkly bridesmaid dresses and I dont think that would work well with her body style. I dont want her to feel uncomfortable either. So should I change the bridesmaid dress or have her do a reading instead? Or does anyone have any other suggestions on how I could make her feel included?

  If you aren't close and you have to ask if you should, then the answer is obvious...don't include her.

  
  

  But the bolded is pretty disgusting.  "big girls" can wear sparkly dresses too.  This shouldn't even be a factor in whether or not you include her in your wedding.

  
  

  And you don't have to make her feel included.  She can just attend the wedding as a guest. That should make her feel pretty included.

  
  

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• littlepep member

  

  April 2015

  As PPs said, if you aren't close, there's no reason to ask her. 

  
  

  And sparkles don't have anything to do with body shape. Straps/sleeves/the cut of the dress are things that do, which is why it's best to let your BMs pick something out on their own. 

  

  
  

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