Mother's Day dilemma, WWTKD?

blabla89 · April 2015

Our wedding is this weekend and then we'll be on our HM until mid May. So we'll be gone over Mother's Day, and if I don't order gifts today or tomorrow I will probably forget.

The dilemma: FI is currently very upset with FMIL. Without going into detail, she was extremely harsh and disrespectful over the weekend, and then called him at work on Monday to berate him more. Just thinking about it makes me feel ragey for FI. This has happened before with FI and each of his siblings, more than once - they will be mad, then they'll get over it, and all will be fine again. All of this to say that right now FI doesn't even want to see his mother at the wedding, let alone think about Mother's Day. I do think it will blow over before then, though.

The thing is, if we don't send something for Mother's Day we will incur the ALMIGHTY WRATH OF FMIL all over again and it will be a long time before she lets it go. I don't want that drama and I know FI will hate it, too. He doesn't want to talk about gifts because he's mad, but I don't want to deal with the fall out from it (FMIL calling FI on our HM crying about how he's a terrible son and he doesn't love her, FFIL lecturing FI as soon as we get back).

So my options are 1) Try to talk with FI about it again, at the risk of getting him upset about the situation all over again. 2) Not send anything and deal with the fall out. 3) Go ahead and order flowers or a gift basket to be delivered while we're out of the country, and just let FI know about it after the wedding when he's in a better mood. I don't want to be disrespectful of FI's feelings and wishes, but I also don't want to set us up for more of this family drama because I know FI hates it.

What would you do?

ShesSoCold · April 2015

blabla89 said:
Our wedding is this weekend and then we'll be on our HM until mid May. So we'll be gone over Mother's Day, and if I don't order gifts today or tomorrow I will probably forget.

The dilemma: FI is currently very upset with FMIL. Without going into detail, she was extremely harsh and disrespectful over the weekend, and then called him at work on Monday to berate him more. Just thinking about it makes me feel ragey for FI. This has happened before with FI and each of his siblings, more than once - they will be mad, then they'll get over it, and all will be fine again. All of this to say that right now FI doesn't even want to see his mother at the wedding, let alone think about Mother's Day. I do think it will blow over before then, though.

The thing is, if we don't send something for Mother's Day we will incur the ALMIGHTY WRATH OF FMIL all over again and it will be a long time before she lets it go. I don't want that drama and I know FI will hate it, too. He doesn't want to talk about gifts because he's mad, but I don't want to deal with the fall out from it (FMIL calling FI on our HM crying about how he's a terrible son and he doesn't love her, FFIL lecturing FI as soon as we get back).

So my options are 1) Try to talk with FI about it again, at the risk of getting him upset about the situation all over again. 2) Not send anything and deal with the fall out. 3) Go ahead and order flowers or a gift basket to be delivered while we're out of the country, and just let FI know about it after the wedding when he's in a better mood. I don't want to be disrespectful of FI's feelings and wishes, but I also don't want to set us up for more of this family drama because I know FI hates it.

What would you do?

Oh wow. This sucks. As someone with a terrible MIL, I'd go with 1 and then 2 if he doesn't want to talk about it. I definitely wouldn't put myself in the middle of it or do something he doesn't want to do regarding his mother.

FWIW, my MIL gets all nutty when we don't send her shit (she literally got mad that we didn't send an anniversary card. WHO THE FUCK knows when their parents' anniversary is?!) and H stopped caring. Several years later, she's stopped bitching (at least to us). Maybe your FI is ready to stop the cycle and try to really get through to her, or just move on with his life.

lyndausvi · April 2015

We take care of our own families. Sure I will say "Hey, I'm ordering flowers for my mom, do you want me to order some for yours?". Sometimes he says "sure". Others he says he has or will take care of his mom.

The first year together, he didn't send his mom anything. She bitched so someone else how disappointed she was in ME. Fuck that. I put the friend and everyone in their place. I am not DH's fucking social secretary. We got married well into our 30's and had to do things on his own before he met me. Just because he now has I wife don't mean I take over those "jobs". Fuck that. If you are mad there was no gift you blame your own son. Not his wife.

Don't get me wrong. We do think of the other's family. DH has said "hey I found this for your dad". I've said lets get your mom this. But in the end of day it's DH's responsibility to make sure his mom has a gift. I make sure mine are taken care.

In your case I would mention you are ordering whatever for Mother's Day and ask if he wants you to send something for his mom. Then let him decide. If they is fallout, it's on your DH.

novella1186 · April 2015

lyndausvi said:
We take care of our own families. Sure I will say "Hey, I'm ordering flowers for my mom, do you want me to order some for yours?". Sometimes he says "sure". Others he says he has or will take care of his mom.

The first year together, he didn't send his mom anything. She bitched so someone else how disappointed she was in ME. Fuck that. I put the friend and everyone in their place. I am not DH's fucking social secretary. We got married well into our 30's and had to do things on his own before he met me. Just because he now has I wife don't mean I take over those "jobs". Fuck that. If you are mad there was no gift you blame your own son. Not his wife.

Don't get me wrong. We do think of the other's family. DH has said "hey I found this for your dad". I've said lets get your mom this. But in the end of day it's DH's responsibility to make sure his mom has a gift. I make sure mine are taken care.

In your case I would mention you are ordering whatever for Mother's Day and ask if he wants you to send something for his mom. Then let him decide. If they is fallout, it's on your DH.

This. Things are touchy between my mom and I right now, but I don't want to rub salt in the wound by forgetting Mother's Day. So yesterday I ordered flowers to be delivered to her that weekend while we're in Italy. I think she'll be extra surprised that I thought to do something for her despite being out of the country.

That was my choice though, for my own reasons, for my own mother. If I had made the conscious decision to NOT send her something for whatever reasons I may have, and FI went behind my back in meddled in MY relationship with her because he thought he knew better than me, we would have a problem.

lyndausvi · April 2015

ShesSoCold said:
Our wedding is this weekend and then we'll be on our HM until mid May. So we'll be gone over Mother's Day, and if I don't order gifts today or tomorrow I will probably forget.

The dilemma: FI is currently very upset with FMIL. Without going into detail, she was extremely harsh and disrespectful over the weekend, and then called him at work on Monday to berate him more. Just thinking about it makes me feel ragey for FI. This has happened before with FI and each of his siblings, more than once - they will be mad, then they'll get over it, and all will be fine again. All of this to say that right now FI doesn't even want to see his mother at the wedding, let alone think about Mother's Day. I do think it will blow over before then, though.

The thing is, if we don't send something for Mother's Day we will incur the ALMIGHTY WRATH OF FMIL all over again and it will be a long time before she lets it go. I don't want that drama and I know FI will hate it, too. He doesn't want to talk about gifts because he's mad, but I don't want to deal with the fall out from it (FMIL calling FI on our HM crying about how he's a terrible son and he doesn't love her, FFIL lecturing FI as soon as we get back).

So my options are 1) Try to talk with FI about it again, at the risk of getting him upset about the situation all over again. 2) Not send anything and deal with the fall out. 3) Go ahead and order flowers or a gift basket to be delivered while we're out of the country, and just let FI know about it after the wedding when he's in a better mood. I don't want to be disrespectful of FI's feelings and wishes, but I also don't want to set us up for more of this family drama because I know FI hates it.

What would you do?

Oh wow. This sucks. As someone with a terrible MIL, I'd go with 1 and then 2 if he doesn't want to talk about it. I definitely wouldn't put myself in the middle of it or do something he doesn't want to do regarding his mother.

FWIW, my MIL gets all nutty when we don't send her shit (she literally got mad that we didn't send an anniversary card. WHO THE FUCK knows when their parents' anniversary is?!) and H stopped caring. Several years later, she's stopped bitching (at least to us). Maybe your FI is ready to stop the cycle and try to really get through to her, or just move on with his life.

really? I know my parent's anniversary. Heck, I know my grandparents anniversary. I also know 1 aunts because it's the same day as my grandparents. I know my siblings too. And a few of my cousins, but not many.

I do not send cards to them, but I call my parents on their anniversary.

I think it's odd not to know your own parents anniversary. Not that you need to send a gift.

ShesSoCold · April 2015

lyndausvi said:

ShesSoCold said:
Our wedding is this weekend and then we'll be on our HM until mid May. So we'll be gone over Mother's Day, and if I don't order gifts today or tomorrow I will probably forget.

The dilemma: FI is currently very upset with FMIL. Without going into detail, she was extremely harsh and disrespectful over the weekend, and then called him at work on Monday to berate him more. Just thinking about it makes me feel ragey for FI. This has happened before with FI and each of his siblings, more than once - they will be mad, then they'll get over it, and all will be fine again. All of this to say that right now FI doesn't even want to see his mother at the wedding, let alone think about Mother's Day. I do think it will blow over before then, though.

The thing is, if we don't send something for Mother's Day we will incur the ALMIGHTY WRATH OF FMIL all over again and it will be a long time before she lets it go. I don't want that drama and I know FI will hate it, too. He doesn't want to talk about gifts because he's mad, but I don't want to deal with the fall out from it (FMIL calling FI on our HM crying about how he's a terrible son and he doesn't love her, FFIL lecturing FI as soon as we get back).

So my options are 1) Try to talk with FI about it again, at the risk of getting him upset about the situation all over again. 2) Not send anything and deal with the fall out. 3) Go ahead and order flowers or a gift basket to be delivered while we're out of the country, and just let FI know about it after the wedding when he's in a better mood. I don't want to be disrespectful of FI's feelings and wishes, but I also don't want to set us up for more of this family drama because I know FI hates it.

What would you do?
Oh wow. This sucks. As someone with a terrible MIL, I'd go with 1 and then 2 if he doesn't want to talk about it. I definitely wouldn't put myself in the middle of it or do something he doesn't want to do regarding his mother.

FWIW, my MIL gets all nutty when we don't send her shit (she literally got mad that we didn't send an anniversary card. WHO THE FUCK knows when their parents' anniversary is?!) and H stopped caring. Several years later, she's stopped bitching (at least to us). Maybe your FI is ready to stop the cycle and try to really get through to her, or just move on with his life.

really? I know my parent's anniversary. Heck, I know my grandparents anniversary. I also know 1 aunts because it's the same day as my grandparents. I know my siblings too. And a few of my cousins, but not many.

I do not send cards to them, but I call my parents on their anniversary.

I think it's odd not to know your own parents anniversary. Not that you need to send a gift.

Hmm. Maybe I'm a shitty kid. Maybe it's just my family - we barely remember to call each other on birthdays. We never really made a big deal about important dates.

ashley8918 · April 2015

lyndausvi said:

ShesSoCold said:
Our wedding is this weekend and then we'll be on our HM until mid May. So we'll be gone over Mother's Day, and if I don't order gifts today or tomorrow I will probably forget.

The dilemma: FI is currently very upset with FMIL. Without going into detail, she was extremely harsh and disrespectful over the weekend, and then called him at work on Monday to berate him more. Just thinking about it makes me feel ragey for FI. This has happened before with FI and each of his siblings, more than once - they will be mad, then they'll get over it, and all will be fine again. All of this to say that right now FI doesn't even want to see his mother at the wedding, let alone think about Mother's Day. I do think it will blow over before then, though.

The thing is, if we don't send something for Mother's Day we will incur the ALMIGHTY WRATH OF FMIL all over again and it will be a long time before she lets it go. I don't want that drama and I know FI will hate it, too. He doesn't want to talk about gifts because he's mad, but I don't want to deal with the fall out from it (FMIL calling FI on our HM crying about how he's a terrible son and he doesn't love her, FFIL lecturing FI as soon as we get back).

So my options are 1) Try to talk with FI about it again, at the risk of getting him upset about the situation all over again. 2) Not send anything and deal with the fall out. 3) Go ahead and order flowers or a gift basket to be delivered while we're out of the country, and just let FI know about it after the wedding when he's in a better mood. I don't want to be disrespectful of FI's feelings and wishes, but I also don't want to set us up for more of this family drama because I know FI hates it.

What would you do?
Oh wow. This sucks. As someone with a terrible MIL, I'd go with 1 and then 2 if he doesn't want to talk about it. I definitely wouldn't put myself in the middle of it or do something he doesn't want to do regarding his mother.

FWIW, my MIL gets all nutty when we don't send her shit (she literally got mad that we didn't send an anniversary card. WHO THE FUCK knows when their parents' anniversary is?!) and H stopped caring. Several years later, she's stopped bitching (at least to us). Maybe your FI is ready to stop the cycle and try to really get through to her, or just move on with his life.

really? I know my parent's anniversary. Heck, I know my grandparents anniversary. I also know 1 aunts because it's the same day as my grandparents. I know my siblings too. And a few of my cousins, but not many.

I do not send cards to them, but I call my parents on their anniversary.

I think it's odd not to know your own parents anniversary. Not that you need to send a gift.

I have no idea when anyone's anniversary is but my own. Oh, and my aunt & uncles because it is the same as mine.

Why is it odd? Maybe they just never made a big show about telling me.

ashley8918 · April 2015

Also, I would not do anything in this situation. It sounds like you already mentioned it, and he was not receptive. Time to back off. This is not your mother, and not your problem.

littlemushroom · April 2015

I agree with PP to go with option 1, and then option 2 if he doesn't want to talk about it. His parent, his problem.

I also know when my parents' anniversary is. They get a card, and usually my sister and I take them out to dinner. We also live 5 minutes from them. If we weren't that nearby, things might be different.

[Deleted User] · April 2015

novella1186 said:

lyndausvi said:
We take care of our own families. Sure I will say "Hey, I'm ordering flowers for my mom, do you want me to order some for yours?". Sometimes he says "sure". Others he says he has or will take care of his mom.

The first year together, he didn't send his mom anything. She bitched so someone else how disappointed she was in ME. Fuck that. I put the friend and everyone in their place. I am not DH's fucking social secretary. We got married well into our 30's and had to do things on his own before he met me. Just because he now has I wife don't mean I take over those "jobs". Fuck that. If you are mad there was no gift you blame your own son. Not his wife.

Don't get me wrong. We do think of the other's family. DH has said "hey I found this for your dad". I've said lets get your mom this. But in the end of day it's DH's responsibility to make sure his mom has a gift. I make sure mine are taken care.

In your case I would mention you are ordering whatever for Mother's Day and ask if he wants you to send something for his mom. Then let him decide. If they is fallout, it's on your DH.
This. Things are touchy between my mom and I right now, but I don't want to rub salt in the wound by forgetting Mother's Day. So yesterday I ordered flowers to be delivered to her that weekend while we're in Italy. I think she'll be extra surprised that I thought to do something for her despite being out of the country.

That was my choice though, for my own reasons, for my own mother. If I had made the conscious decision to NOT send her something for whatever reasons I may have, and FI went behind my back in meddled in MY relationship with her because he thought he knew better than me, we would have a problem.

Dittoing PPs. I think this is your best course of action and does not involve meddling in your FI's relationship with his mother. It's his decision and his relationship to do with as he pleases...even though that will probably affect you too. I would hope, if he decided not to send her anything, she would get over it eventually, but if not then SHE is the one choosing to hold a grudge.

lyndausvi · April 2015

ShesSoCold said:

lyndausvi said:

ShesSoCold said:
Our wedding is this weekend and then we'll be on our HM until mid May. So we'll be gone over Mother's Day, and if I don't order gifts today or tomorrow I will probably forget.

The dilemma: FI is currently very upset with FMIL. Without going into detail, she was extremely harsh and disrespectful over the weekend, and then called him at work on Monday to berate him more. Just thinking about it makes me feel ragey for FI. This has happened before with FI and each of his siblings, more than once - they will be mad, then they'll get over it, and all will be fine again. All of this to say that right now FI doesn't even want to see his mother at the wedding, let alone think about Mother's Day. I do think it will blow over before then, though.

The thing is, if we don't send something for Mother's Day we will incur the ALMIGHTY WRATH OF FMIL all over again and it will be a long time before she lets it go. I don't want that drama and I know FI will hate it, too. He doesn't want to talk about gifts because he's mad, but I don't want to deal with the fall out from it (FMIL calling FI on our HM crying about how he's a terrible son and he doesn't love her, FFIL lecturing FI as soon as we get back).

So my options are 1) Try to talk with FI about it again, at the risk of getting him upset about the situation all over again. 2) Not send anything and deal with the fall out. 3) Go ahead and order flowers or a gift basket to be delivered while we're out of the country, and just let FI know about it after the wedding when he's in a better mood. I don't want to be disrespectful of FI's feelings and wishes, but I also don't want to set us up for more of this family drama because I know FI hates it.

What would you do?
Oh wow. This sucks. As someone with a terrible MIL, I'd go with 1 and then 2 if he doesn't want to talk about it. I definitely wouldn't put myself in the middle of it or do something he doesn't want to do regarding his mother.

FWIW, my MIL gets all nutty when we don't send her shit (she literally got mad that we didn't send an anniversary card. WHO THE FUCK knows when their parents' anniversary is?!) and H stopped caring. Several years later, she's stopped bitching (at least to us). Maybe your FI is ready to stop the cycle and try to really get through to her, or just move on with his life.
really? I know my parent's anniversary. Heck, I know my grandparents anniversary. I also know 1 aunts because it's the same day as my grandparents. I know my siblings too. And a few of my cousins, but not many.

I do not send cards to them, but I call my parents on their anniversary.

I think it's odd not to know your own parents anniversary. Not that you need to send a gift.

Hmm. Maybe I'm a shitty kid. Maybe it's just my family - we barely remember to call each other on birthdays. We never really made a big deal about important dates.

not a shitty kid. Some people remember dates. Others don't. Do you remember you parent's birthdays? Well knowing their anniversary is kind of the same. You are told, maybe once a year you heard them mention it's the anniversary.

In my case my parent's anniversary is the day before my sister's birthday. Might make it easier to remember. My anniversary is the day before theirs (although I got married late, so that fact has no baring on me remembering). My parents were married 42 weeks before I was born. So I just add 1 to my age to remember how long they have been married.

Which reminds me, they have a 50th coming up in a few years.

lovegood90 · April 2015

That really sucks! Ultimately I would stay out of it and let him deal with it- he's had a relationship with his mom his whole life so he probably already knows there will be a wrath.

Who knows, maybe he's over the hysterics and doesn't care anymore. I'd leave it up to him what he wants to do.

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

I would probably send her a card the day before you leave on the HM. Ask your FI if he wants to sign it. If he does, great. If not, fine. I've wished my MIL a Happy Mother's Day since she became my MIL.

But I agree with everyone else that you aren't your DH's admin. It's not your wifely duty to be in charge of gift giving and you should make that clear now so that he doesn't somehow expect this in the future.

DH's family is a gift giving and card sending family. Mine is not. Mother's Day, Father's Day, anniversaries, etc. are all "card holidays" in my family. Even birthdays are card + dinner type holidays. The only gift giving holiday is basically Christmas. DH's family gifts for all of those things plus Valentine's Day, Easter, etc... I find it really unnecessary. I think a card for these types of holidays is plenty.

kvruns · April 2015

normally I would say take care of your own families, but in this case and the past history of the blow up/make peace cycle, if he's not willing to send something I would go ahead and do it to not incur the major wrath. Mostly because it sounds like it normal circumstances it would probably blow over by then and were it not for you guys being out of the country he would end up doing something.

Now if he normally doesn't do anything or send something that is different, but if flowers or whatever are always sent I would schedule it just like years past. I'm a peacemaker so that's where I'm coming from.

ashley8918 · April 2015

kvruns said:
normally I would say take care of your own families, but in this case and the past history of the blow up/make peace cycle, if he's not willing to send something I would go ahead and do it to not incur the major wrath. Mostly because it sounds like it normal circumstances it would probably blow over by then and were it not for you guys being out of the country he would end up doing something.
Now if he normally doesn't do anything or send something that is different, but if flowers or whatever are always sent I would schedule it just like years past. I'm a peacemaker so that's where I'm coming from.

Because pissing off the dude you are married to is better than pissing off his mother?

banana468 · April 2015

I totally remember birthdays and anniversaries but celebrating an anniversary is between the couple. I don't expect anything from my parents or ILs when DH and I celebrate ours and we generally only call our parents on their anniversaries unless it's a big one.

Let your DH handle this. You're not his secretary and I wouldn't meddle in his relationship with MIL.

I will say that if your FMIL is known to be an emotional manipulator then the period before a child's wedding may be full of those issues.

lyndausvi · April 2015

ashley8918 said:

kvruns said:
normally I would say take care of your own families, but in this case and the past history of the blow up/make peace cycle, if he's not willing to send something I would go ahead and do it to not incur the major wrath. Mostly because it sounds like it normal circumstances it would probably blow over by then and were it not for you guys being out of the country he would end up doing something.
Now if he normally doesn't do anything or send something that is different, but if flowers or whatever are always sent I would schedule it just like years past. I'm a peacemaker so that's where I'm coming from.
Because pissing off the dude you are married to is better than pissing off his mother?

not only married to, but just got married to a week earlier. Nothing like starting off a new marriage by going against your spouse's wishes.

ashley8918 · April 2015

lyndausvi said:

ashley8918 said:

kvruns said:
normally I would say take care of your own families, but in this case and the past history of the blow up/make peace cycle, if he's not willing to send something I would go ahead and do it to not incur the major wrath. Mostly because it sounds like it normal circumstances it would probably blow over by then and were it not for you guys being out of the country he would end up doing something.
Now if he normally doesn't do anything or send something that is different, but if flowers or whatever are always sent I would schedule it just like years past. I'm a peacemaker so that's where I'm coming from.
Because pissing off the dude you are married to is better than pissing off his mother?

not only married to, but just got married to a week early. Nothing like starting off a new marriage by going against your spouse's wishes.

Exactly. I think this is very ill advised.

Maggie0829 · April 2015

I would mention something to him once and then shut my mouth. This is his Mom, not yours. It is not your responsibility to get her a gift or force your H to get one for her. If there is fallout then he will have to deal with it and you just stay far, far out of it.

As for dates, I remember my parents anniversary because it is 3 days before my sisters birthday. I remember their birthdays because they are exactly a week a part. But I have zero clue when my ILs anniversary is and only remember that it is their birthdays because FB reminds me.

OliveOilsMom · April 2015

As PP said, I would ask FI again, then let it go. Maybe while on your honeymoon, if you see something for FMIL, you could point it out to your H(!) and say "Do you think your mom would like this? We could give it to her for Mother's Day?" If he says yes, I feel you have a built in excuse why a gift is late. You just say that you wanted to get her something from honeymoon location for her mother's day gift. If she has a problem with that, then your H should tell her to build a bridge and get over it.

banana468 · April 2015

ashley8918 said:

lyndausvi said:

ashley8918 said:

kvruns said:
normally I would say take care of your own families, but in this case and the past history of the blow up/make peace cycle, if he's not willing to send something I would go ahead and do it to not incur the major wrath. Mostly because it sounds like it normal circumstances it would probably blow over by then and were it not for you guys being out of the country he would end up doing something.
Now if he normally doesn't do anything or send something that is different, but if flowers or whatever are always sent I would schedule it just like years past. I'm a peacemaker so that's where I'm coming from.
Because pissing off the dude you are married to is better than pissing off his mother?

not only married to, but just got married to a week early. Nothing like starting off a new marriage by going against your spouse's wishes.
Exactly. I think this is very ill advised.

Me too. It's up to DH to figure things out with his side of the family when it comes to their personal issues. If my husband told me NOT to do something and I did it anyway, that's a huge sign that I don't respect him. Good luck with that on the honeymoon.

TrixieJess · April 2015

DO NOT send something on your FI's behalf. He is a grown man and can get his own presents and cards. I understand where you and PP are coming from but, his mother will see through it and it may cause a further rift. It will also piss your FI right off.

RebeccaB88 · April 2015

I might make the offer to him, that you're ordering for your mom and would he like you to order something for his while you're at it. If he says no, then take care of yours and then drop the subject and let him handle it.

blabla89 · April 2015

scribe95 said:
I know my parents anniversary and have always gotten them a gift. Same with my in-laws. Interesting that some people don't.

When a close friend of mine mentioned the date of her and her H's upcoming 20th anniversary, I told FI I was going to send a card (since we're close with both of them) and he insisted that it was super weird to send anyone other than your own spouse an anniversary card.

hellosweetie1015 · April 2015

I know my parents' birthdays, my FILs' birthdays, and both anniversaries. But I'm also able to remember phone numbers and other numerical stuff pretty easily. Also FMIL and I share a birthday, so god forbid I forget that haha.

I haven't ever gotten my parents an anniversary gift other than to offer to babysit my siblings so they could have a night to themselves. I should - my mom's had two Vacuum Anniversaries - but I feel like it's on my dad. I do try to prod him in a better direction than cleaning supplies though.

blabla89 · April 2015

Talked to FI last night (as in, I'm ordering a gift for my Grandma, want to send anything to your mom while I'm at it?) and flowers have been ordered. It's a good thing I asked him because I had completely forgotten that FMIL's birthday is also during our HM...forgetting that could have been disastrous.

Thanks ladies for all your advice and real talk.

Mother's Day dilemma, WWTKD?

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